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Wal-Mart sells a product called Gorilla glue. Smear some of this on his feet while he's sleeping and then smack him in the face and run like hell. (I hope this is a quick drying glue). Also might be a disaster if you accidentally got some on yourself. I'd sure hate to be glued to a pissed-off gorilla.
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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
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