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Jenny Gump
03-21-2006, 03:08 PM
I had to run home a minute ago from work. As I approached an intersection with a red light I came up behind a car and this man got out. I saw him reach for his fly, and at first I thought he was zipping it up.

Obviously, my next thought was that he must have some reason to have had it unzipped prior to getting out of the car. There was another guy in the passenger seat. My mind starts thinking very perverted things.

The zipper guy leans against his car, with his hand down around his personal private area, and his feet spread slightly apart, as he is looking around in every direction with a grin on his face. Suddenly, I realize that he isn't zipping...he's unzipping. I look down at the ground, by his feet, and realize, he's taking a whiz right there, on the street, in the middle lane, of a major intersection. He left a puddle, in the middle of the street!

There were cars all around, and I myself was only about 12 feet or so from him. Hey, it takes a lot to offend me, but this was vile. You know the worst part? There's a Walgreens on one corner, a convenience store two blocks from there, and a Subway three blocks. It's not like there aren't places to pee. Jesus.

JimNasium
03-21-2006, 03:09 PM
Was he hot?

JBucc
03-21-2006, 03:10 PM
He was marking his territory

JimNasium
03-21-2006, 03:11 PM
When a guy's gotta go he's gotta go. Never, ever risk bladder damage.

PastorMikH
03-21-2006, 03:12 PM
I had to run home a minute ago from work.


It's kinda chilly today. Couldn't JimN, Zach, or one of the other Planeteers in Springtown have given you a ride so you wouldn't have to run all that way?

Jenny Gump
03-21-2006, 03:12 PM
Was he hot?

Yeah. This is the sort of thing hot men do. Pipe down.

Frazod
03-21-2006, 03:13 PM
ROFL
There is a part of me that admires people who simply ignore the rules of society.

JimNasium
03-21-2006, 03:13 PM
It's kinda chilly today. Couldn't JimN, Zach, or one of the other Planeteers in Springtown have given you a ride so you wouldn't have to run all that way?
I'm giving her a ride later tonite.






















Sorry Pastor, I couldn't resist. I am a bad, bad man. :shake:

Inspector
03-21-2006, 03:14 PM
Sorry.



I had to pee.

PastorMikH
03-21-2006, 03:15 PM
I'm giving her a ride later tonite.









Sorry Pastor, I couldn't resist. I am a bad, bad man. :shake:



:shake: :shake:


Dear Lord, please don't let him find his little blue pills tonight. Amen.






:)

gblowfish
03-21-2006, 03:15 PM
What? Never seen a trucker bomb launching?

Skip Towne
03-21-2006, 03:15 PM
Hi Jenny. Ya been getting any?

Jenny Gump
03-21-2006, 03:15 PM
I'm giving her a ride later tonite.



Gees Jim. There's a man of the cloth in the room.

Count Zarth
03-21-2006, 03:16 PM
I'm guessing he saw you in his rearview mirror and was "finishing off."

Jenny Gump
03-21-2006, 03:16 PM
Hi Jenny. Ya been getting any?

More than you've seen the last 20 years, I'm guessin'.

Manila-Chief
03-21-2006, 03:17 PM
You should live in Manila ... but, most of the time the taxi driver will go to the side of the street. Their theory is that it is natural to let it out.

PastorMikH
03-21-2006, 03:17 PM
gochiefs hasn't been around all day. 2 minutes after a thread about a guy peeing shows up, he does too.


:hmmm:


(j/k Could resist there gochiefs):)

JimNasium
03-21-2006, 03:17 PM
Gees Jim. There's a man of the cloth in the room.
I said I was sorry! ROFL

PastorMikH
03-21-2006, 03:19 PM
Say, I was thinking that Manila Chief is back in the states right now, maybe it was him you saw. Was it an older gent wearing a suit with a Bible under one arm?

Count Zarth
03-21-2006, 03:19 PM
gochiefs hasn't been around all day. 2 minutes after a thread about a guy peeing shows up, he does too.


:hmmm:


(j/k Could resist there gochiefs):)

YOU ARE WRONG I HAVE BEEN AROUND BEFORE LIKE ON THE TONY RICHARDSON THREAD SO STICK THAT UP YOUR ASS!

PastorMikH
03-21-2006, 03:20 PM
Gees Jim. There's a man of the cloth in the room.


There's 2 now. Manila Chief is a Missionary to some Islands east of Asia.:)

PastorMikH
03-21-2006, 03:21 PM
My we are touchy today.:shake:



ROFL ROFL

Jenny Gump
03-21-2006, 03:21 PM
Say, I was thinking that Manila Chief is back in the states right now, maybe it was him you saw. Was it an older gent wearing a suit with a Bible under one arm?

This guy was not manila or chocolate.

JimNasium
03-21-2006, 03:22 PM
There's 2 now. Manila Chief is a Missionary to some Islands east of Asia.:)
My apologies to Manila Chief as well. I am a sad, strange, little man.

Jenny Gump
03-21-2006, 03:23 PM
My apologies to Manila Chief as well. I am a sad, strange, little man.

You're more like a happy strangely large man.

Count Zarth
03-21-2006, 03:23 PM
My we are touchy today.:shake:



ROFL ROFL

UR JOKE WUZ STUPID SO IN TEH FUTUR I SUGGEST U JUST STOP MAKING UNFUNNY JOKES OK!!!!!1

PastorMikH
03-21-2006, 03:24 PM
Is gochiefs leaning composition now from kcnut?

JimNasium
03-21-2006, 03:24 PM
You're more like a happy strangely large man.
Thanks for the vote of confidence sweetie.

JimNasium
03-21-2006, 03:25 PM
Is gochiefs leaning composition now from kcnut?
ROFL

Count Zarth
03-21-2006, 03:27 PM
OH HO PASTOR U SEE? NOW STOP WITH THE STUPID CRAP! YOU ARE NOT FUNNY!!! YOU FAIL GO AND WORSHIP THE GOD!

PastorMikH
03-21-2006, 03:27 PM
ROFL



I wanted to type is so he could comprehend it.:)

tk13
03-21-2006, 03:30 PM
Shoulda yelled "Hey buddy! P stands for Park!"

Cochise
03-21-2006, 03:31 PM
Is gochiefs leaning composition now from kcnut?

No, he's learning it from Nick Athan.

Jilly
03-21-2006, 03:36 PM
see, here's the deal.....I love being a woman and all, but it would be so nice to just pee wherever you wanted.

Rain Man
03-21-2006, 03:39 PM
Men's room etiquette says that you're not supposed to look, Jenny.

I realize that this technically wasn't a men's room, but still...

PastorMikH
03-21-2006, 03:40 PM
see, here's the deal.....I love being a woman and all, but it would be so nice to just pee wherever you wanted.



Oh it is. I think when the wife complains, inside it's jealousy that's causing her to complain.


:)

JimNasium
03-21-2006, 03:42 PM
Who here has done the emergency void in a beer bottle or similar receptacle? That is a very delicate and risky operation.

tk13
03-21-2006, 03:43 PM
see, here's the deal.....I love being a woman and all, but it would be so nice to just pee wherever you wanted.
"Adult Depends... for when you just wanna go."

Cochise
03-21-2006, 03:43 PM
Since we're telling whiz stories...

Couple years ago I was going to a friend's bachelor party, and they had rented one of those party busses to drive everyone around all night. They had a pony keg in the back of it and everything.

Well at one point, one of my friends is pretty drunk and decides that he has to go to the bathroom and can't possibly wait, so he picks up an empty 22oz beer can he brought with him and starts to take care of business. Then when it's over, he opened the window to pitch the can out (the bus had windows kind of like a school bus where they opened at the top.) Instead of the can clearing the window, it hit the edge and stayed inside, and went flying to the back of the bus spraying unpleasantness on several people.

I'm glad I got there later and ended up sitting toward the front.

JimNasium
03-21-2006, 03:45 PM
Since we're telling whiz stories...

Couple years ago I was going to a friend's bachelor party, and they had rented one of those party busses to drive everyone around all night. They had a pony keg in the back of it and everything.

Well at one point, one of my friends is pretty drunk and decides that he has to go to the bathroom and can't possibly wait, so he picks up an empty 22oz beer can he brought with him and starts to take care of business. Then when it's over, he opened the window to pitch the can out (the bus had windows kind of like a school bus where they opened at the top.) Instead of the can clearing the window, it hit the edge and stayed inside, and went flying to the back of the bus spraying unpleasantness on several people.

I'm glad I got there later and ended up sitting toward the front.
Yep, not a pleasant experience being sprayed with another man's urine.

Jenny Gump
03-21-2006, 03:46 PM
see, here's the deal.....I love being a woman and all, but it would be so nice to just pee wherever you wanted.

I agree. But call me wacky...I still wouldn't pee at a major stoplight. A minor one...maybe.

Sully
03-21-2006, 03:46 PM
I'm in a couple of British History classes right now. Today, our professor was telling us how common it is during Rugby games to piss in something and throw it on the other team.
Damn.
I'd rather dodge batteries.

Jenny Gump
03-21-2006, 03:47 PM
Who here has done the emergency void in a beer bottle or similar receptacle? That is a very delicate and risky operation.

You were holding the bottle for me, and I took that as approval of our covert operation. Plus, I think it made you hot.

Fish
03-21-2006, 03:57 PM
Yep, not a pleasant experience being sprayed with another man's urine.

Speaking from profound experience??? :p

Count Zarth
03-21-2006, 03:59 PM
Yep, not a pleasant experience being sprayed with another man's urine.

I know I always enjoy a nice shower of my own urine.

chagrin
03-21-2006, 04:03 PM
see, here's the deal.....I love being a woman and all, but it would be so nice to just pee wherever you wanted.

I Love You




giggitty!

chagrin
03-21-2006, 04:04 PM
Yeah. This is the sort of thing hot men do. Pipe down.

She's right you know, I do this all the time.

Skip Towne
03-21-2006, 04:06 PM
My apologies to Manila Chief as well. I am a sad, strange, little man.
Sad and strange I'll go along with.

ENDelt260
03-21-2006, 04:07 PM
Who here has done the emergency void in a beer bottle or similar receptacle? That is a very delicate and risky operation.
I think there's been a couple times... though, the most memorable was on the way to Panama City for spring break my sophomore year. Filled a Mt Dew bottle... screwed the cap on, and tossed it out.... it hit the road, cap busted off, bottle spun around flinging urine all over the next car back.... which happened to be filled with my fraternity brothers.

Jilly
03-21-2006, 04:11 PM
See, women have to do this crazy pee dance, in which, we squat in a discrete place (preferably against a tree for some balance) - first making sure there is a nearby nonpoisonous leaf or paper to wipe with - being sure to squat far enough down so that your clothes aren't underneath the line of fire, then, carefully letting loose, but not too much because the impact of the spray on the ground could quite possibly splash back up onto your shoes, or clothes....
it can be perfected, it's hard and takes practice, but it can be done.

ENDelt260
03-21-2006, 04:25 PM
See, women have to do this crazy pee dance, in which, we squat in a discrete place (preferably against a tree for some balance) - first making sure there is a nearby nonpoisonous leaf or paper to wipe with - being sure to squat far enough down so that your clothes aren't underneath the line of fire, then, carefully letting loose, but not too much because the impact of the spray on the ground could quite possibly splash back up onto your shoes, or clothes....
it can be perfected, it's hard and takes practice, but it can be done.
I bet it's infinitely more disastrous for you if some joker sneaks up behind you and boots you in the ass midstream as well, eh?

Jilly
03-21-2006, 04:56 PM
oh definitely, I'm scared of clowns

Rain Man
03-21-2006, 04:58 PM
For the most part, I just assume that other people don't ever urinate or defecate, and that bathrooms exist only for me and for other people to come their hair. Life is much more pleasant with that assumption.

JohnnyV13
03-21-2006, 05:00 PM
Jenny,

I think you should have opened the window and asked him if he always took a piss after giving another man a blow job.

4th and Long
03-21-2006, 05:12 PM
I bet it's infinitely more disastrous for you if some joker sneaks up behind you and boots you in the ass midstream as well, eh?
It's even more fun when you sneek up behind them, in mid piss, and yell ...

SNAKE!!!

:)

chagrin
03-21-2006, 05:51 PM
See, women have to do this crazy pee dance, in which, we squat in a discrete place (preferably against a tree for some balance) (Giggitty!) - being sure to squat far enough down so that your clothes aren't underneath the line of fire (Giggitty!) then, carefully letting loose, but not too much because the impact of the spray on the ground could quite possibly splash back up into your nose (Giggitty!! Oh God!!!!)....
it can be perfected, it's hard and takes practice, but it can be done.

whew, need a smoke now...

Calcountry
03-21-2006, 06:35 PM
see, here's the deal.....I love being a woman and all, but it would be so nice to just pee wherever you wanted.Yeah, it was nice to be able to do that. But after 40, aiming becomes increasingly more complicated.

ENDelt260
03-21-2006, 08:46 PM
For the most part, I just assume that other people don't ever urinate or defecate, and that bathrooms exist only for me and for other people to come their hair. Life is much more pleasant with that assumption.
You think people are coming in each other's hair in bathrooms? And that makes you MORE comfortable?

big nasty kcnut
03-21-2006, 09:00 PM
Pastor that was cold. Jenny it wasn't me.

Blackened
03-21-2006, 09:13 PM
Not sure what the issue is....that is protocol in Oakland...Dont be a sissy...

morphius
03-21-2006, 09:20 PM
Not sure what the issue is....that is protocol in Oakland...Dont be a sissy...
Which explains the stench...

Halfcan
03-21-2006, 09:22 PM
ROFL
There is a part of me that admires people who simply ignore the rules of society.

Usually those folks are called convicts.

Logical
03-21-2006, 09:28 PM
UR JOKE WUZ STUPID SO IN TEH FUTUR I SUGGEST U JUST STOP MAKING UNFUNNY JOKES OK!!!!!1Every once in the while the old GoChiefs just has to show up.:rolleyes:

Count Zarth
03-21-2006, 09:38 PM
Every once in the while the old GoChiefs just has to show up.:rolleyes:

I was never like that. Even when I was a jerkface, I was a literate jerkface.

Simplex3
03-21-2006, 10:31 PM
Dear Lord, please don't let him find his little blue pills tonight. Amen.

Simplex3
03-21-2006, 10:41 PM
Pastor that was cold. Jenny it wasn't me.
We knew it wasn't you, she said he had a PENIS. :shake:







;)

Rausch
03-21-2006, 11:02 PM
I had to run home a minute ago from work. As I approached an intersection with a red light I came up behind a car and this man got out. I saw him reach for his fly, and at first I thought he was zipping it up.

Obviously, my next thought was that he must have some reason to have had it unzipped prior to getting out of the car. There was another guy in the passenger seat. My mind starts thinking very perverted things.

The zipper guy leans against his car, with his hand down around his personal private area, and his feet spread slightly apart, as he is looking around in every direction with a grin on his face. Suddenly, I realize that he isn't zipping...he's unzipping. I look down at the ground, by his feet, and realize, he's taking a whiz right there, on the street, in the middle lane, of a major intersection. He left a puddle, in the middle of the street!

There were cars all around, and I myself was only about 12 feet or so from him. Hey, it takes a lot to offend me, but this was vile. You know the worst part? There's a Walgreens on one corner, a convenience store two blocks from there, and a Subway three blocks. It's not like there aren't places to pee. Jesus.

Standard.

And reason 301 why I call a cab after I've hit the bars...

greg63
03-21-2006, 11:30 PM
He was marking his territory

Yep.

Chiefs Pantalones
03-21-2006, 11:35 PM
If he had big balls he would've took a piss on your car. ROFL

luv
03-21-2006, 11:38 PM
I work behind a strip club and in front of a bar. We were eating lunch the other night when someone stopped in the middle of the parking lot outside and did that very same thing. Thank goodness it was raining.

Simplex3
03-21-2006, 11:40 PM
I work behind a strip club and in front of a bar. We were eating lunch the other night when someone stopped in the middle of the parking lot outside and did that very same thing. Thank goodness it was raining.
This just reenforces all of my preconceived notions about Springfield and MO in general.

Carry on.

luv
03-21-2006, 11:40 PM
This just reenforces all of my preconceived notions about Springfield and MO in general.

Carry on.
Technically, I work in Nixa.

Simplex3
03-21-2006, 11:44 PM
Technically, I work in Nixa.
Sounds like an acne cream.

luv
03-21-2006, 11:47 PM
Sounds like an acne cream.
It's a town 5-10 miles south of Springfield.

Simplex3
03-21-2006, 11:48 PM
It's a town 5-10 miles south of Springfield.
I call bulls**t.

:harumph:

luv
03-21-2006, 11:50 PM
I call bulls**t.

:harumph:
http://www.mapquest.com/directions/main.adp?go=1&do=nw&rmm=1&un=m&cl=EN&qq=hltF3hzNT9tNhURP0HLlhh9UYBmHRqyBceg4Gkon14D8uewLk7pjHQ%253d%253d&ct=NA&rsres=1&1y=US&1ffi=&1l=&1g=&1pl=&1v=&1n=&1pn=&1a=&1c=Springfield&1s=M&1z=65807&2y=US&2ffi=&2l=&2g=&2pl=&2v=&2n=&2pn=&2a=&2c=Nixa&2s=MO&2z=65714

Simplex3
03-21-2006, 11:53 PM
http://www.mapquest.com/directions/main.adp?go=1&do=nw&rmm=1&un=m&cl=EN&qq=hltF3hzNT9tNhURP0HLlhh9UYBmHRqyBceg4Gkon14D8uewLk7pjHQ%253d%253d&ct=NA&rsres=1&1y=US&1ffi=&1l=&1g=&1pl=&1v=&1n=&1pn=&1a=&1c=Springfield&1s=M&1z=65807&2y=US&2ffi=&2l=&2g=&2pl=&2v=&2n=&2pn=&2a=&2c=Nixa&2s=MO&2z=65714
Yeah, like I'm going to believe everything I find on the Internet. Nice try.

:shake:

luv
03-22-2006, 12:25 AM
Yeah, like I'm going to believe everything I find on the Internet. Nice try.

:shake:
4321

Simplex3
03-22-2006, 12:26 AM
4321
ROFL I was wondering how long you'd let me keep going.

luv
03-22-2006, 12:30 AM
ROFL I was wondering how long you'd let me keep going.
ima widdle slow 'nite.

Blackened
03-22-2006, 01:55 AM
We were eating lunch the other night when someone stopped in the middle of the parking lot outside and did that very same thing.

When do you eat dinner?

Nzoner
03-22-2006, 10:54 PM
See, women have to do this crazy pee dance, in which, we squat in a discrete place (preferably against a tree for some balance) - first making sure there is a nearby nonpoisonous leaf or paper to wipe with - being sure to squat far enough down so that your clothes aren't underneath the line of fire, then, carefully letting loose, but not too much because the impact of the spray on the ground could quite possibly splash back up onto your shoes, or clothes....
it can be perfected, it's hard and takes practice, but it can be done.

I'd say tits has some real experience at this,can you write your name in the snow too? ;)

Nzoner
03-22-2006, 10:58 PM
I bet it's infinitely more disastrous for you if some joker sneaks up behind you and boots you in the ass midstream as well, eh?

There was this night in high school,very cold,my gf's girlfriend had to take a piss so decides to use my bumper for balance.I swear I didn't know the car was in drive,I only tapped the accelerator to keep the heat moving.

luv
03-22-2006, 11:44 PM
When do you eat dinner?
I work second shift. I usually go to "lunch" (aka dinner to most) at 8:30PM. This particular evening, it was 9PM.

mike_b_284
03-23-2006, 12:35 AM
yell in mid-piss


LOOK ITS A COCK.......ONLY SMALLER!

Rausch
03-23-2006, 12:37 AM
There was this night in high school,very cold,my gf's girlfriend-

Giggity!

-had to take a piss so decides to use my bumper for balance.I swear I didn't know the car was in drive,I only tapped the accelerator to keep the heat moving.

Let down... :shake: