So I hear a thump on my window...

[Bugeater]

...and I pretty much ignore it.

Several minutes later...I hear a fluttering noise on the window. OK, that's strange, I'd better go investigate. So I head up the steps and flick on the outside light and peer through the window, and I don't see anything.

So, I open the door, and look over toward the window where I heard the noise, and I don't see anything. Hmmm....

Then I noticed one of the branches of a nearby tree moving, and a couple of leaves fall from it, and I'm asking myself wtf is going on here?

Then...out of the blue...something (very quickly) emerges from the tree...flying straight at me....


HOLY SHIT, IT'S A BAT! HEADING STRAIGHT FOR MY FACE!

I was stunned for a split second, then realized it was going to be a big problem if this damn thing got in the house so I quickly reached for the door, which was wide open. Luckily, it veered away at the last second as I probably wasn't going to get the door shut in time.

Which brings me to this question, is this damn thing going to go away, or am I going to have to somehow kill it? I don't really want it hanging around here.

[Buck]

Did you bite its head off?

[007]

Just let it bite you and get it over with.

[Bugeater]

Did you bite its head off?
**** no, I'm not going near that thing.

[007]

**** no, I'm not going near that thing.
Pussy

[cdcox]

Consider yourself lucky. Bats will keep the mosquito population down around your house. I was thinking of putting up some bat houses around here to attract them, but they have to be pretty high up in the trees.

[Bob Dole]

Leave it alone. It will help keep down your mosquito population.

[Phobia]

If it's a Mizuno bat, send it to me. I prefer a 27 oz model, but will swing the 26 too.

Thanks

[Buck]

Consider yourself lucky. Bats will keep the mosquito population down around your house. I was thinking of putting up some bat houses around here to attract them, but they have to be pretty high up in the trees.

I found a mosquito in my refrigerator today. I should get a bat.

[Bugeater]

Pussy
Yes.

Consider yourself lucky. Bats will keep the mosquito population down around your house. I was thinking of putting up some bat houses around here to attract them, but they have to be pretty high up in the trees.
I'm fine with the mosquito thing, but why on earth did it fly straight at me? I don't think I can get used to that.

[007]

Yes.


I'm fine with the mosquito thing, but why on earth did it fly straight at me? I don't think I can get used to that.
It smelled you. er wait. I guess that should have made it go the other way.

[Bob Dole]

Yes.


I'm fine with the mosquito thing, but why on earth did it fly straight at me? I don't think I can get used to that.

Do you smell like a mosquito?

It's not like the damned thing could see you.

[Phobia]

I found a mosquito in my refrigerator today. I should get a bat.

Invite Frazod over. He'll show that mosquito a thing or two.

[Ultra Peanut]

The Intruder is a silhouette and similar in shape to a
Siamese cat. When sitting, it is about 7.5 feet tall.
It has two overly large, slanted eyes, which glow a
bright fluorescent green, and have no pupils. It
blinks these eyes occasionally. Other than the eyes,
it has no other discernable facial or body features.

Whenever you enter your home after dark, The Intruder
is always watching. It sits about 10 feet away from
you in plain view. It remains immobile and does not
even try to conceal its presence. While outside, it
can only be seen by one person at a time. If it were
to be within the sight range of two people then the
first person who sees The Intruder would remain being
able to see it while it would remain completely
invisible to others.

It emits no noises of its own. The only time it can be
heard is when it is stretching its claws on a tree or
your house siding. If you approach it then it will run
away very quickly and violently, kicking up dirt and
rocks. The sounds of the wind from The Intruder’s
movements and flying debris from under The Intruder’s
feet can be heard. If you were to throw an object
toward it or discharge a firearm at it you would get
the same effect. Once you turn back to the door to
insert your key you will find that The Intruder has
noiselessly returned to its previous position where it
continues to watch you.

Some say that The Intruder listens to your key hit the
lock. They say that The Intruder can eventually
ascertain the shape of your key simply by hearing the
pins of your lock moving. It is unknown how many times
The Intruder must hear you unlock your door before it
can determine the exact shape of your key.

You see, The Intruder wants to kill you, that is, if
this creature is even capable of wanting anything.
Perhaps it is better to say that it intends to kill
you. However, The Intruder can only kill you inside
your house, and may not force its way in. Furthermore,
it cannot enter an empty house. You must already be at
home in order for it to enter. If you were to run
outside of your house once The Intruder enters, The
Intruder will pursue you, drag you back inside, and
then kill you.

If you ever hear a key hitting your door in the dead
of night then it may be The Intruder trying out its
key that it has made. The Intruder only tries to use
its keys when it is close to perfecting them, so if
you do hear it trying to unlock your door then you can
be certain that it will have a proper working key
within a few nights. If you enter your house through
another means, for example a garage or screen door,
then you may suddenly find it them inoperable from the
outside, through both remote or attempted physical
operation of the door. If you attempt to leave your
door unlocked in order to prevent The Intruder from
hearing the shape of your key, then you may be
disappointed to find that the door has been locked by
the time you arrive at home.

If you hear a key hit your lock it is advised that you
turn off all of your lights and attempt to push on the
door to try and prevent The Intruder from entering,
although it likely outweighs you. Once The Intruder
enters your house all light sources above that of a
candle become blinding to all inhabitants other that
The Intruder. If you have time to light a candle then
it is suggested, as this will still allow you to see
the silhouette without becoming blinded. A very small
advantage that you may have is that, once inside a
home, all inhabitants are able to see The Intruder
simultaneously.

The Intruder will kill every human inside of the
house. It will only attack pets if the animal chooses
to engage The Intruder. Most animals choose not to
engage The Intruder. The only time that the Intruder
will make any noise of its own is during a kill
strike. The Intruder will make a quick hissing sound
during this strike, and will not make this noise again
until it claims its next victim. The Intruder has
never been known to kill anyone without hissing during
the kill strike. It will usually try to completely
disable its prey to the point where it cannot move
before it makes the kill strike. It is thought that
The Intruder prefers to disable its prey before a kill
strike because the act of hissing may be the only time
that it is vulnerable to damage. This is purely
speculation however.

[Phobia]

Do you smell like a mosquito?

Only if that mosquito smokes Marlboros.

[Bugeater]

Do you smell like a mosquito?

It's not like the damned thing could see you.
What's even more strange is I was standing right next to the porch light. I thought they hated light.

[Buck]

Yes.


I'm fine with the mosquito thing, but why on earth did it fly straight at me? I don't think I can get used to that.

http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k297/NightHawkFem/th70feecc8.gif

[Bob Dole]

Only if that mosquito smokes Marlboros.

Bob Dole is fairly certain most of them smoke menthols.

[Phobia]

Bob Dole is fairly certain most of them smoke menthols.
Anopheles gambiae?

I'm sorry, that's rather obscure. Maybe Ultra Peanut will make a connection.

[007]

What's even more strange is I was standing right next to the porch light. I thought they hated light.
Mr. Carlson the Bugeater is Batman

New name

[Bob Dole]

What's even more strange is I was standing right next to the porch light. I thought they hated light.

Not if the light is relatively low (a normal incandescent bug) and it's surrounded by food (insects).

[Bugeater]

http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k297/NightHawkFem/th70feecc8.gif
http://www.freeibforums.com/forums/html/emoticons/emoticon265.gif

[cdcox]

Maybe it saw you as competition for its food and was trying to fighten you away. Stand your ground. It's a point of honor.

Or try changing your user name.

[Bugeater]

Maybe it saw you as competition for its food and was trying to fighten you away. Stand your ground. It's a point of honor.

Or try changing your user name.
Oh, it frightened me all right. I had flashbacks to that time I was attacked by a pigeon.

[007]

Oh, it frightened me all right. I had flashbacks to that time I was attacked by a pigeon.
ROFL

[Sure-Oz]

I had a bird ram my windshield on i70 earlier this morning, and bounce off to only smash into the concrete median. scared the shit out of me too

[Phobia]

When I bought the big truck in Arizona it had a cracked windshield. I replaced it immediately.

Then a massive bird hit the windshield the very next day. I think it was a Valosoraptor.

Didn't break though....

[Buck]

I almost killed a possum the other day. Some animals are suicidal.

[Bob Dole]

I had a bird ram my windshield on i70 earlier this morning, and bounce off to only smash into the concrete median. scared the shit out of me too

You haven't lived until you have a wild turkey hit your windshield at 90mph.

[007]

You haven't lived until you have a wild turkey hit your windshield at 90mph.
Did the bottle break?

[Buck]

You haven't lived until you have a wild turkey hit your windshield at 90mph.

Wait, a turkey that can travel at 90 mph? I call shenanigans.

[Bob Dole]

Did the bottle break?

As Bob Dole typed that post, he just knew that some demented alcoholic would come up with a booze-related reply.

Seek help.

[007]

As Bob Dole typed that post, he just knew that some demented alcoholic would come up with a booze-related reply.

Seek help.
LMAO Never had a drop of that shit in my life.

[Bob Dole]

Wait, a turkey that can travel at 90 mph? I call shenanigans.

The Camaro was travelling at 90. (Would a KC fan drive anything else?) Not really sure about the velocity of the bird prior to the abrupt stop.

[booger]

Might have been a chupacabra.

http://www.elchupacabra.com/

[Hammock Parties]

I think it was a Valosoraptor.



Velociraptor.

[Bob Dole]

LMAO Never had a drop of that shit in my life.

Admitting that you are powerless over alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable is the first step. We're here to help.

[booger]

Hit an owl once.

That's one time you don't want a hooter or hooters pressed up against your windshield.

[acesn8s]

Admitting that you are powerless over alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable is the first step. We're here to help.Sooo, you are going to pour his drinks for him?

[acesn8s]

Hit an owl once.

That's one time you don't want a hooter or hooters pressed up against your windshield.I hit one once with my mirror. The S.O.B. got stuck too. He stared at me until i stopped to let him go.

[booger]

mine busted the windshield all up and bounced off dead to the side of the road.

[Abba-Dabba]

Any bark coming off your trees? If so, the bat is probaly making a home underneath the bark. Knock off all the loose bark and he will probaly move on the a easier roost.

[Pushead2]

Oh, it frightened me all right. I had flashbacks to that time I was attacked by a pigeon.
ROFL ROFL ROFL

[Ebolapox]

guess this is as good a thread as any to post my squirrel story...

so two sundays ago I was at work, it was 2pm, and I was sitting in the living room doing paperwork... I look out the window immediately to my right (about five feet away), and there's a squirrel standing on a table glaring at me through the open blinds... we stare-off for a few moments, and (he/she/it) jumps towards the window so as to assault me (I assume)... hits the glass, and that's the last time I heard from that particular squirrel

it was strange

[Psyko Tek]

It's an omen!!


That's how Batman got started

[Ultra Peanut]

http://imgred.com/http://inorpo-a.mirror.waffleimages.com/files/f8/f8a0e144f0d165f8bc8a9fe3a57956456284d244.jpg

[Simplex3]

Yes.


I'm fine with the mosquito thing, but why on earth did it fly straight at me? I don't think I can get used to that.
Don't worry, they'll turn a foot or two before they hit you.

[Jilly]

It was your body heat...don't bats see by feeling heat?

[crazycoffey]

A Bat Bugeater,
lucky they lived through last night.
Tonight wear Garlic.

[Simplex3]

I almost killed a possum the other day. Some animals are suicidal.
I was driving down a road a few years back and saw a cat in the ditch. I slowed down to about 10mph because I just KNEW the little bastard was going to jump into the road. As I was creeping by the little ****er jumped out under my tire. I know I ran it's ass over, but when I stopped and got out I couldn't find it.

[Wile_E_Coyote]

I love summer evenings, setting on the back porch watching the bats at dusk. Having a cold one watching them dip & dive for mosquitos

[Simplex3]

You haven't lived until you have a wild turkey hit your windshield at 90mph.
I clipped a goose's foot with my side view at about 80. The noise was amazing. I can't imagine the noise of actually nailing the whole bird.

[crazycoffey]

I clipped a goose's foot with my side view at about 80. The noise was amazing. I can't imagine the noise of actually nailing the whole bird.



I was rushing to an accident scene on my Bike and a Dove hit my boot, it started to cross the road, and I could see it heading in front of me. I was going about 80, on an overpass. It tried to dip and double back to miss me, but caught my shin. Those big leather boots are pretty thick, but it still stung a little.

It left a white/grey mark where it hit, feather dust I guess. It was dead on the side of the road a few hours later on my way back. About a week earlier a buddy caught a bird in his face while riding. Luckily he was only going about 35 on an access road, broke his glasses instead of his nose....

[Amnorix]

http://ks.essortment.com/howtobuildab_rdgm.htm

600 mosquitoes an hour they'll eat. Bats are your friends. As long as they're not in the attic or anything...

http://www.livescience.com/strangenews/070503_ap_attic_guano.html

[HemiEd]

Yes.


I'm fine with the mosquito thing, but why on earth did it fly straight at me? I don't think I can get used to that.

It senses you are competing with it, for a food source, bugs.

[ROYC75]

Meh, I live next door to an old tobacco warehouse, there is at least 400-500 bats that live in the attic of this place. At night they come out to feed, we don't have a mosquito problem at all. We can sit out on our front swing or lounge around in the pool in back and watch them in the evening. They enter and exit out the chimney, kinda neat to watch, so many of them fly'n around.

Now and then, we will find one dead next to or on the road dead where a car has taken one out.

[Phobia]

I clipped a goose's foot with my side view at about 80. The noise was amazing. I can't imagine the noise of actually nailing the whole bird.

If they're anything like chickens....