So I hear a thump on my window...

**Bugeater** · 05-29-2007, 11:54 PM

...and I pretty much ignore it.

Several minutes later...I hear a fluttering noise on the window. OK, that's strange, I'd better go investigate. So I head up the steps and flick on the outside light and peer through the window, and I don't see anything.

So, I open the door, and look over toward the window where I heard the noise, and I don't see anything. Hmmm....

Then I noticed one of the branches of a nearby tree moving, and a couple of leaves fall from it, and I'm asking myself wtf is going on here?

Then...out of the blue...something (very quickly) emerges from the tree...flying straight at me....

HOLY SHIT, IT'S A BAT! HEADING STRAIGHT FOR MY FACE!

I was stunned for a split second, then realized it was going to be a big problem if this damn thing got in the house so I quickly reached for the door, which was wide open. Luckily, it veered away at the last second as I probably wasn't going to get the door shut in time.

Which brings me to this question, is this damn thing going to go away, or am I going to have to somehow kill it? I don't really want it hanging around here.

**Buck** · 05-29-2007, 11:55 PM

Did you bite its head off?

**007** · 05-29-2007, 11:56 PM

Just let it bite you and get it over with.

**Bugeater** · 05-29-2007, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BuckinKaeding

Did you bite its head off?

**** no, I'm not going near that thing.

**007** · 05-29-2007, 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Carlson the Bugeater

**** no, I'm not going near that thing.

Pussy

**cdcox** · 05-30-2007, 12:00 AM

Consider yourself lucky. Bats will keep the mosquito population down around your house. I was thinking of putting up some bat houses around here to attract them, but they have to be pretty high up in the trees.

**Bob Dole** · 05-30-2007, 12:00 AM

Leave it alone. It will help keep down your mosquito population.

05-30-2007, 12:02 AM

If it's a Mizuno bat, send it to me. I prefer a 27 oz model, but will swing the 26 too.

Thanks

**Buck** · 05-30-2007, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cdcox

Consider yourself lucky. Bats will keep the mosquito population down around your house. I was thinking of putting up some bat houses around here to attract them, but they have to be pretty high up in the trees.

I found a mosquito in my refrigerator today. I should get a bat.

**Bugeater** · 05-30-2007, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guru

Pussy

Yes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cdcox

Consider yourself lucky. Bats will keep the mosquito population down around your house. I was thinking of putting up some bat houses around here to attract them, but they have to be pretty high up in the trees.

I'm fine with the mosquito thing, but why on earth did it fly straight at me? I don't think I can get used to that.

**007** · 05-30-2007, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Carlson the Bugeater

Yes.

I'm fine with the mosquito thing, but why on earth did it fly straight at me? I don't think I can get used to that.

It smelled you. er wait. I guess that should have made it go the other way.

**Bob Dole** · 05-30-2007, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Carlson the Bugeater

Yes.

I'm fine with the mosquito thing, but why on earth did it fly straight at me? I don't think I can get used to that.

Do you smell like a mosquito?

It's not like the damned thing could see you.

05-30-2007, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BuckinKaeding

I found a mosquito in my refrigerator today. I should get a bat.

Invite Frazod over. He'll show that mosquito a thing or two.

Ultra Peanut · 05-30-2007, 12:06 AM

The Intruder is a silhouette and similar in shape to a
Siamese cat. When sitting, it is about 7.5 feet tall.
It has two overly large, slanted eyes, which glow a
bright fluorescent green, and have no pupils. It
blinks these eyes occasionally. Other than the eyes,
it has no other discernable facial or body features.

Whenever you enter your home after dark, The Intruder
is always watching. It sits about 10 feet away from
you in plain view. It remains immobile and does not
even try to conceal its presence. While outside, it
can only be seen by one person at a time. If it were
to be within the sight range of two people then the
first person who sees The Intruder would remain being
able to see it while it would remain completely
invisible to others.

It emits no noises of its own. The only time it can be
heard is when it is stretching its claws on a tree or
your house siding. If you approach it then it will run
away very quickly and violently, kicking up dirt and
rocks. The sounds of the wind from The Intruder’s
movements and flying debris from under The Intruder’s
feet can be heard. If you were to throw an object
toward it or discharge a firearm at it you would get
the same effect. Once you turn back to the door to
insert your key you will find that The Intruder has
noiselessly returned to its previous position where it
continues to watch you.

Some say that The Intruder listens to your key hit the
lock. They say that The Intruder can eventually
ascertain the shape of your key simply by hearing the
pins of your lock moving. It is unknown how many times
The Intruder must hear you unlock your door before it
can determine the exact shape of your key.

You see, The Intruder wants to kill you, that is, if
this creature is even capable of wanting anything.
Perhaps it is better to say that it intends to kill
you. However, The Intruder can only kill you inside
your house, and may not force its way in. Furthermore,
it cannot enter an empty house. You must already be at
home in order for it to enter. If you were to run
outside of your house once The Intruder enters, The
Intruder will pursue you, drag you back inside, and
then kill you.

If you ever hear a key hitting your door in the dead
of night then it may be The Intruder trying out its
key that it has made. The Intruder only tries to use
its keys when it is close to perfecting them, so if
you do hear it trying to unlock your door then you can
be certain that it will have a proper working key
within a few nights. If you enter your house through
another means, for example a garage or screen door,
then you may suddenly find it them inoperable from the
outside, through both remote or attempted physical
operation of the door. If you attempt to leave your
door unlocked in order to prevent The Intruder from
hearing the shape of your key, then you may be
disappointed to find that the door has been locked by
the time you arrive at home.

If you hear a key hit your lock it is advised that you
turn off all of your lights and attempt to push on the
door to try and prevent The Intruder from entering,
although it likely outweighs you. Once The Intruder
enters your house all light sources above that of a
candle become blinding to all inhabitants other that
The Intruder. If you have time to light a candle then
it is suggested, as this will still allow you to see
the silhouette without becoming blinded. A very small
advantage that you may have is that, once inside a
home, all inhabitants are able to see The Intruder
simultaneously.

The Intruder will kill every human inside of the
house. It will only attack pets if the animal chooses
to engage The Intruder. Most animals choose not to
engage The Intruder. The only time that the Intruder
will make any noise of its own is during a kill
strike. The Intruder will make a quick hissing sound
during this strike, and will not make this noise again
until it claims its next victim. The Intruder has
never been known to kill anyone without hissing during
the kill strike. It will usually try to completely
disable its prey to the point where it cannot move
before it makes the kill strike. It is thought that
The Intruder prefers to disable its prey before a kill
strike because the act of hissing may be the only time
that it is vulnerable to damage. This is purely
speculation however.

05-30-2007, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob Dole

Do you smell like a mosquito?

Only if that mosquito smokes Marlboros.

05-29-2007, 11:54 PM
Bugeater The Maintenance Guy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate Casino cash: $6232680	So I hear a thump on my window... ...and I pretty much ignore it. Several minutes later...I hear a fluttering noise on the window. OK, that's strange, I'd better go investigate. So I head up the steps and flick on the outside light and peer through the window, and I don't see anything. So, I open the door, and look over toward the window where I heard the noise, and I don't see anything. Hmmm.... Then I noticed one of the branches of a nearby tree moving, and a couple of leaves fall from it, and I'm asking myself wtf is going on here? Then...out of the blue...something (very quickly) emerges from the tree...flying straight at me.... HOLY SHIT, IT'S A BAT! HEADING STRAIGHT FOR MY FACE! I was stunned for a split second, then realized it was going to be a big problem if this damn thing got in the house so I quickly reached for the door, which was wide open. Luckily, it veered away at the last second as I probably wasn't going to get the door shut in time. Which brings me to this question, is this damn thing going to go away, or am I going to have to somehow kill it? I don't really want it hanging around here.
Posts: 70,443

05-29-2007, 11:55 PM	#2
Buck Take a Chill Pill Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: South Carolina Casino cash: $8259900	Did you bite its head off?
Posts: 44,564

05-29-2007, 11:56 PM	#3
007 Shaken. Not stirred. Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: London Casino cash: $13950126 VARSITY	Just let it bite you and get it over with. __________________ My dear girl, there are some things that just aren’t done. Such as, drinking Dom Perignon ’53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That’s just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs.
Posts: 65,557

05-30-2007, 12:00 AM	#6
cdcox www.nfl-forecast.com Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $2221769	Consider yourself lucky. Bats will keep the mosquito population down around your house. I was thinking of putting up some bat houses around here to attract them, but they have to be pretty high up in the trees.
Posts: 45,543

05-30-2007, 12:00 AM	#7
Bob Dole King Shit of **** Mountain Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texarkana, Texas Casino cash: $2324497	Leave it alone. It will help keep down your mosquito population.
Posts: 48,654

05-30-2007, 12:02 AM	#8
Phobia Guest Casino cash: $	If it's a Mizuno bat, send it to me. I prefer a 27 oz model, but will swing the 26 too. Thanks
Posts: n/a

05-30-2007, 12:06 AM	#14
Ultra Peanut v^V^v^V^v^V^ Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Holland* Casino cash: $10005177	The Intruder is a silhouette and similar in shape to a Siamese cat. When sitting, it is about 7.5 feet tall. It has two overly large, slanted eyes, which glow a bright fluorescent green, and have no pupils. It blinks these eyes occasionally. Other than the eyes, it has no other discernable facial or body features. Whenever you enter your home after dark, The Intruder is always watching. It sits about 10 feet away from you in plain view. It remains immobile and does not even try to conceal its presence. While outside, it can only be seen by one person at a time. If it were to be within the sight range of two people then the first person who sees The Intruder would remain being able to see it while it would remain completely invisible to others. It emits no noises of its own. The only time it can be heard is when it is stretching its claws on a tree or your house siding. If you approach it then it will run away very quickly and violently, kicking up dirt and rocks. The sounds of the wind from The Intruder’s movements and flying debris from under The Intruder’s feet can be heard. If you were to throw an object toward it or discharge a firearm at it you would get the same effect. Once you turn back to the door to insert your key you will find that The Intruder has noiselessly returned to its previous position where it continues to watch you. Some say that The Intruder listens to your key hit the lock. They say that The Intruder can eventually ascertain the shape of your key simply by hearing the pins of your lock moving. It is unknown how many times The Intruder must hear you unlock your door before it can determine the exact shape of your key. You see, The Intruder wants to kill you, that is, if this creature is even capable of wanting anything. Perhaps it is better to say that it intends to kill you. However, The Intruder can only kill you inside your house, and may not force its way in. Furthermore, it cannot enter an empty house. You must already be at home in order for it to enter. If you were to run outside of your house once The Intruder enters, The Intruder will pursue you, drag you back inside, and then kill you. If you ever hear a key hitting your door in the dead of night then it may be The Intruder trying out its key that it has made. The Intruder only tries to use its keys when it is close to perfecting them, so if you do hear it trying to unlock your door then you can be certain that it will have a proper working key within a few nights. If you enter your house through another means, for example a garage or screen door, then you may suddenly find it them inoperable from the outside, through both remote or attempted physical operation of the door. If you attempt to leave your door unlocked in order to prevent The Intruder from hearing the shape of your key, then you may be disappointed to find that the door has been locked by the time you arrive at home. If you hear a key hit your lock it is advised that you turn off all of your lights and attempt to push on the door to try and prevent The Intruder from entering, although it likely outweighs you. Once The Intruder enters your house all light sources above that of a candle become blinding to all inhabitants other that The Intruder. If you have time to light a candle then it is suggested, as this will still allow you to see the silhouette without becoming blinded. A very small advantage that you may have is that, once inside a home, all inhabitants are able to see The Intruder simultaneously. The Intruder will kill every human inside of the house. It will only attack pets if the animal chooses to engage The Intruder. Most animals choose not to engage The Intruder. The only time that the Intruder will make any noise of its own is during a kill strike. The Intruder will make a quick hissing sound during this strike, and will not make this noise again until it claims its next victim. The Intruder has never been known to kill anyone without hissing during the kill strike. It will usually try to completely disable its prey to the point where it cannot move before it makes the kill strike. It is thought that The Intruder prefers to disable its prey before a kill strike because the act of hissing may be the only time that it is vulnerable to damage. This is purely speculation however. __________________
Posts: 39,518