Inside a laundry basket that was inside a closet

/Najeh Davenport

I worked at a movie theater in college. One time there was this old guy walking around the lobby in short shorts. Well, he started to lose control of his bowels and since the shorts were so short, shit was falling out all over the carpet. Even worse, the old guy didn't realize it was happening. My buddy was a manager so he had to go tell this poor old bastard that he was currently shitting himself in a crowded public place. I felt bad for the guy but I couldn't help but laugh at my friend.

When I was a freshman in college, in the dorms, there were some guys on our floor that we called Mutt and Jeff. They were some sort of agriculture majors, and they used to keep plants on this little shelf in the bathroom, so the plants could get moisture from the showers. This other guy named Ron lived on our floor. He was this goofy 6'5" dude that was always doing something stupid. One day he walks into our room and goes, "I just laid a coiler on Mutt and Jeff's plant." He had gone in to the bathroom, taken one of their plants into a stall and took a dump on it, and then put it back on the shelf.

I pooped in Cleveland.