Well... everyone else's responses are more humorous but in reality I would suggest you boycott her salon out of moral principle. Nothing funny about someone's wife with a mouthfull of infidelity.

He's married and I think he loves his wife so getting tang is out. The only other CP approved solution is to get himself some free cuts and make her feel awkward.

Wasn't referring to as getting tang. Was referring to getting some free haircuts for life.

Do you think you'll change the way you tip her?

Maybe he could bring in a cup of plain yogurt as a tip?

You're talkin shit on me sister biotch ... she needs the extra money .. she has a habit ....

In retrospect, you should've suspected something when they started putting out celery and pineapple snacks for the customers.

I'm going to be out most of tomorrow, but I'm very anxious to know how this story ends.

It better end with Chi gettting at least a free haircut....

So it does happen...

Nice memory for my Peter North thread.

DON'T MISS YOUR APPOINTMENT !!!!!!!

LMAO

I guess Chi should have waited until she was done to read her my pooem.

http://msp185.photobucket.com/albums...ny-haircut.jpg

i think he knew that without that thread. Market researching get dizzown like that.

HOLLA AT YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC

Yep, this is the big day. Let us know how it goes, or at least point us to the Penthouse Letter where you describe it.

We are indeed a diversified research firm.

http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune..../conchords.jpg
Band Meeting
Rainman?

Here

DaFace?

Also Here

All right, item one, the jizz account?

Damn Chitown!

Wasn't it you that looked out your window a year or two ago and witnessed a similar scene taking place in someones BMW?

Some guys have all the luck.

:clap::clap::clap:

Wow great story I can't wait to hear what happens today. I have a feeling she may call in sick

Chitown should take in some raunchy magazine showing the act, and then pretend to start reading it when she starts his haircut.

You've obviously never owned your own business?

Maybe some owners can call in sick but I couldn't do that when I owned my own business.





ChiTown ......If you strike up a conversation ask her if she's ever seen the movie "BlackCock Down".

OMG how did I miss this? LMAO

Dude, you absolutely HAVE to keep your appointment, if for no other reason than to let us know her reaction.

Although I'd make sure there are other people in the salon in case she wants to go Sweeney Todd on your ass.

Just checking in on update to this unfolding story......

You know, the more I think about this, the more I'm pretty convinced that if I was ChiTown, I would not let this woman get behind me while she had a sharp object in her hand. :eek:

I don't have time to type it out, but suffice it to say, the haircut humored me.

I'll hit you back later todayROFL

Did you get a free head massage?

Oh come on man. You've got us here on the edges of our seats and you say wait until later. You are just as bad as an NBA game with all its timeouts in the last minute.

:eek:

You bastard! You'd better not leave us in the lurch for too long. :D

C'mon us fellow Wichititians need to know!!!

If you're messing with us this will not end well.

Not at all,...quick let's gather some of the "regulators" um sorry supporters....the athletic ones........

The amazing story...

AFTER THESE MESSAGES

The popcorn you're eating has been pissed in. Film at 11.

"Film at 11."

That's a scary thought. What time was his appointment?

Alrighty then.................

So, I have a message on my office phone this morning - it's from Chick.

Chick leaves a message that she is confirming said haircut for this morning at 11am, and that she would like to speak to me prior to that, if possible. Ah, shit. Look, I really don't give a F about her explanation, I'm just hopeful I can get her to cut my hair nude, in my office. Anyway, I oblige, and she comes down to my office around 9am this morning. Chick knocks on my door, and she comes into my office. Now, generally, she wears rather revealing clothes to show off her rack, but not today. Chick was in full Schoolmarm garb. LOL.

She has this whole, I know I got caught with a cock on my mouth, look on her face, and it's making me very uncomfortable - mainly because it wasn't my cock.:p She proceeds to tell me that she and her husband have been having marital issues. Really, I'd have never guessed. I mean, I just figured she was using the guy in the barber chair to scratch her itchy tonsils. Well, chick proceeds to piss and moan like I'm her girlfriend. I look at my watch, hoping she'll take the hint. Backfire, she then turns on the eye faucets.

Chick - "I'm not a slut!"

ChiTown (looking about uncomfortably) - "No Problem"

Chick - "I'm not!"

Chi - "ok"

Chick - "You should have knocked!"

Chi - "I did, and you should have locked the door"

Chick - "I'm so EMBARRASSED"

Chi - "Yeah, well, if it's any consolation, you have a nice ass"LMAO

Chick - (more tears)

Chi - "alright, well I guess I'll see you at 11?" (knock, knock, knock)

OK, with the excitement of today, I sort of forgot that my wife was coming by my office around 9:30 so we could go to my son's classroom play together. F*&^! Chick sees wife - wife sees chick who has been crying - chick scurries out of office. This isn't going to end well, and my penis never even got out of my pants.

Chi - "Hey"

Wife - "........................."

Chi - "you ready to go?"

Wife - (looking for blunt object in my office to beat me with) "NO! WTF was that?"

Ok, at this point, I can't decide whether it would just be easier to lie and to say it was me in the barber chair, or to tell the truth while she's calls me a liar. Seriously, what woman is going to believe this shit.

Chi - "We're going to be late"

Wife - "**** You! What was that all about?"

Normally, I get turned on when my wife talks dirty, but somehow, my penis was going inverted at this point.

Chi - (blurting out the truth) "She gave a BJ to some guy in her barber chair and I watched.................." ****! Not watched you dumbass, SAW!

Wife - "You watched!" (Tears)

OK, at this point, I'm pretty sure my son will be without one or both parents at his class play. All b/c his Dad didn't get a blow job, but bore witness to one.

Chi - "SAW, not watched, SAW!"

Wife - (Cussing and crying - all very inaudible)

Chi - "Well, we need to go if we're going to........"

Wife - "BS, I can't believe you are cheating on me with a stripper"

This really sucks, ya know. First of all, she's a beauty technician, not a stripper - so I was a little offended by that. 2ndly, I NEVER FKG CHEATED, GAWDAMNIT! Nevertheless, my marriage of 15+ years, is about to go down in flames in less than 15 minutes. Short of a Nuclear Holocaust blowing through Wichita, I thought this whole sequence was going rather well....

Chi - "She cuts my hair - THAT's all"

Wife - (she's now on her cell phone - I had no idea she had our lawyer on speed dial)

Chi - "Hun?"

Wife -"I don't want to be around you. I'm going to the play, and would prefer if you didn't go" (office door slams shut)

Swellsville. **** it. I have half of a mind to go up to Chick's shop and get the BJ that my wife thinks I have already received. At least I wouldn't be lying in her eyes at that point.

Chi - (phoning the hair salon) "yeah, I need to cancel my appointment for today"

Phone Hooker (IQ of 3) - Would you like to reschedule, Mr. ChiTown?

:evil:

Chi - "No. Not until that marriage wrecking, cock sucker leaves your salon"

Phone Hooker - "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh", I don't understand (click)

HOLY. SHIT.

That did not go like I expected it to go.

While I'm sorry to hear that it's destroying your marriage, I have to guffaw at the situation. You've had a knack for bad timing this week.

Mistake #1.

I've said here before and I'll say it again: Hairdressers are nearly synonymous with strippers. I've even known hairdressers that strip on amateur nights.

My current hairdresser wears high heels, short shorts and totally tight shirts to show off her fake tits. As a matter of fact, the entire salon is filled with women dressed exactly the same.

Chitown's maxim, if life gives you lemons, the citric acid will somehow melt your entire house.

Oh, and when you explain it to your wife, remember this: you saw the action at 9:00 this morning, and she came down as soon as she got dressed. Then don't ever let your wife visit Chiefsplanet.

LMAO

Good shit man, did you really tell her she had a nice ass ?

oh and sorry about the marriage thing

Damn Chi, you can't make that shit up. Wow, you need to get better at hiding shit from your wife, and lie more. Best of luck with this, damn.

hmmmm

I'm gonna need names, numbers and pictures for verification.

Until now I didn't realize that Mrs. T.B.A. had a sister......

Dayum.

Chi, I need help dealing with your sister in law...Mrs. T.B.A.....tell me how you plan to deal with YOUR predicament. I will make it fit my current criteria.

Do yourself a favor - shoot yourself in the face. STAT!

Good luck, Dude.

If I told my wife that I walked in on my hairdresser giving some dude a blowjob, she's say "Alright."

And that would be the end of it.

On our 14th anniversary, I told her..."Being married to you has been the best 12 years of my life....the other 2 have sucked....you know a couple of shitty months here, a couple there...." She was NOT amused.

Yeah, you're right, shoulda shot myself in the face.

Boys, if you're not married, remember Marriage is like drugs.

































JUST SAY NO!!!!

Actually, mine too.....just before she punted my testicles. Her philosophy is: If I may have done debauchery....I did.

Ouch

It's not my fault that I am this goddamn good looking.....

It's a curse

She's an 8, I am a 4...yet she thinks I can have any woman....shit, I don't have the answer....

this thread is awesome.
i

Well, your impending divorce has certainly tempered the humor of this thread. :spock:

FWIW, my wife thought it was a funny story.....

Well, that was rather anticlimactic.

BTW, ChiTown, you might want to consider having her read this thread. That just might absolve you.

HOC Worthy.

ChiTown, you may need to man up and show your wife this thread as evidence.

Make sure you edit your last post, and T.B.A. needs to unquote the quote of that post.

You'll be golden...well other than the fact that you can never post here again.

:spock:

"So, you thought you'd have a good laugh with your reeruned CP buddies, but you didn't tell ME about this?!?!?!?!?!"

No.

A man's marital problems amuse you?

Let me get this straight:

You're getting a divorce, and should be free to **** who you please, but your wife is still mad that you potentially got a blowjob from a stripper? Why? It's not like you plan on staying together, right? It would be one thing if she saw it as an opportunity to get more money - i.e. my client's husband has been screwing a stripper and is guilty of infidelity - but she was getting upset over it, correct? But calling the lawyer at the same time? I don't get it.

Unless I missed something, I don't think he said he was getting divorced. Then again I haven't read over half the posts in this thread so...

I've never understood that about my wife. Nobody wants a balding 31 year old man with 4 kids and a beer belly. Well, my friends slut girlfriend does, but other than that.

you're right, wpi is on it though:doh!:

PS.....

Why do nearly all women lack the common sense gene?

Oh, then disregard. But it sure makes her behavior seem odd. Like she doesn't even trust him at his word. I mean she was CRYING?

Idiot.

This x 2

ROFL @ u guys...

Stop laughing at us......you went to a gay bar.

PWNED

No further proof required that this is HOC material, and that all HOC material must be copyrighted.

WTF is the matter with everyone around you? Your wife called you a liar and burst into tears because some random woman was in your office crying? That is seriously disturbed behavior.

You poor, poor bastard.

On a lighter note, after being gone on a day long work trip, and getting a call 10 minutes before I got home, and giving some people permission to come to our house to see something when I got there.....between bath and bed time...apparently which is a poor decision on my part......I'll let bride owanian read your predicament, and I still might have a chance to score tonight.


have mrschitown create an account and we'll fix her wagon right up for you, pal.


This wasn't the ending I had hoped for you. I hoped for bad jokes, awkward silences, stammering excuses, blushing....and you laughing, which lead to me laughing.

Damn...sorry to read that, ChiTown. I hope you and Mrs. ChiTown can fix this.

Just have her smell yo dick.

:D