:)
Two birds were setting on a perch. One turned to the other and said.......do you smell fish?

A horse walks into a bar, and the bar tender says "So, why the long face?"

ROFL ROFL That's good stuff.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

ROFLROFLROFLROFL Best post yet!!ROFLROFLROFLROFL

A three-legged dog walks into the bar and says to the bartender, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my pa....

Mine is the only funny one so far... :harumph:

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.
"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."

A nun walks into a toy rocket factory...

I had better save this one for another thread.

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,
"Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't dear," she said.
"I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
"The big sissy."

First grader little Joey comes home from school and announces that he and his classmate Tammy have decided to get married. Amused at the cuteness of this, his parents ask:"What are you two going to live on?"

"Well," he says, "You are paying me $15 a week, Tammy gets $10 a week from her parents. We figure that should be enough for us."

"Where are you gonna live?" The parents ask.

"We've thought of that too." replies Joey, " One week here and the next at her parents' house."

Amused and impressed at how well the kids have thought this thing out the parents ask: "But, how about children?"

Joey pauses a second and replies: "Well, so far we've been pretty lucky!"

My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market.
I went and looked around and couldn't find any.

So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, "These
vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any
poisonous chemicals?"

"The produce guy looked at me and said, "No. You'll have to
do that yourself."

A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later...."Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later:"Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

ROFLROFLROFLROFL

My sister used to do that to me all the time and the answer is giraffe.