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Katipan 07-07-2009 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red (Post 5884562)
I'll leave that for the others who've been there, regarding; the constant 'seeing her' also, for the posters who've been through a divi w/ kids involved.

It's both gross and sad.

So you stop focusing on how you feel and focus on how the kids feel.

And wa-la. Poof. Everything is better.

burt 07-07-2009 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dirk digler (Post 5884563)
That is the hardest part. My advice and what I did was make it quick and painless as possible. No chit chat, no how you doing, just get the kids and leave.

Yep...and no phone calls or text!

JOhn 07-07-2009 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red (Post 5884562)
no question, no question, and 'frankly' i'm not certain I can answer that. I'm sure others can, but I never had kids, so, to be fair, that's a VERY different situation. I'll leave that for the others who've been there, regarding; the constant 'seeing her' also, for the posters who've been through a divi w/ kids involved.

Does make it VERY tough. I was always confused, thinking I didn't want to see her for me but the kids needed to. Unfortunately it took me a long time to realize it was me that really wanted to see her. But she made it easier to get over, as I have the kids and they don't fit into her new life. She rarely sees them, 2 times in the past 2-3 months & they haven't spent a night with her in 4 months, all her choice

burt 07-07-2009 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MTG#10 (Post 5884553)
Burt, are you guys still living together?

F@CK NO~!!!!

MTG#10 07-07-2009 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dirk digler (Post 5884563)
That is the hardest part. My advice and what I did was make it quick and painless as possible. No chit chat, no how you doing, just get the kids and leave.

Thats what ive been doing but she always comes up with an excuse to make it last...like a couple days ago i had the kids waiting for her in the driveway. When I seen her car coming I gave them a hug and went in. A minute later she knocks on the door and asks if she can get a couple of her belongings. She then starts trying to talk to me about something and I was forced to look at her. She does something like this every time.

MTG#10 07-07-2009 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burt (Post 5884576)
F@CK NO~!!!!

So do you have the house? Did she get an apartment?

dirk digler 07-07-2009 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burt (Post 5884573)
Yep...and no phone calls or text!

Definitely. Honestly the only reason you need to talk to your ex is if has something to do with the kids. And when you do talk keep it short and simple. One other tip that I learned is tell your ex about your boundaries and what is acceptable and not acceptable to talk about. Basically keep it business like and definitely cold.

Simply Red 07-07-2009 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 5884571)
It's both gross and sad.

So you stop focusing on how you feel and focus on how the kids feel.

And wa-la. Poof. Everything is better.

so like, Katipan, I don't like have any kids, and stuff, uhhhh, huhhh haah

MTG#10 07-07-2009 10:49 AM

Today is our 8 year wedding anniversary...

dirk digler 07-07-2009 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MTG#10 (Post 5884578)
Thats what ive been doing but she always comes up with an excuse to make it last...like a couple days ago i had the kids waiting for her in the driveway. When I seen her car coming I gave them a hug and went in. A minute later she knocks on the door and asks if she can get a couple of her belongings. She then starts trying to talk to me about something and I was forced to look at her. She does something like this every time.

Let her know your boundaries. I know in your situation it may be hard because you guys are going to stay married for a little bit but once you get your apartment it is your place and your rules. It will definitely make it easier because you can just meet her at the door, take the kids and say bye and shut the door.

Garcia Bronco 07-07-2009 10:51 AM

Nothing worse than a person that can't control their urges. It's really what seperates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.

JOhn 07-07-2009 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Garcia Bronco (Post 5884603)
Nothing worse than a person that can't control their urges. It's really what seperates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.

Guess I really am a PIG :evil:

Buehler445 07-07-2009 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MTG#10 (Post 5884578)
Thats what ive been doing but she always comes up with an excuse to make it last...like a couple days ago i had the kids waiting for her in the driveway. When I seen her car coming I gave them a hug and went in. A minute later she knocks on the door and asks if she can get a couple of her belongings. She then starts trying to talk to me about something and I was forced to look at her. She does something like this every time.

In this case, the answer should have been no. Say you have an appointment to get to or something. Lie to the bitch. It's your house. You don't have to let her in. Tell her to call you later in the week and you'll work on her stuff.

Play the game by your rules.
Posted via Mobile Device

Buehler445 07-07-2009 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MTG#10 (Post 5884593)
Today is our 8 year wedding anniversary...

No it isn't. You're not with her anymore.
Posted via Mobile Device

MTG#10 07-07-2009 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buehler445 (Post 5884609)
In this case, the answer should have been no. Say you have an appointment to get to or something. Lie to the bitch. It's your house. You don't have to let her in. Tell her to call you later in the week and you'll work on her stuff.

Play the game by your rules.
Posted via Mobile Device

Either way I still have to see her, whether it was then or "later in the week"...


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