I Want to Embarrass One of My Groomsmen at My W-Reception,Would Like Your Suggestions
 

So I got married in Vegas a few weeks ago. Vegas is one backwards-ass city. Had a lot of fun.

So we are having the wedding reception in a few weeks and I am having my groomsmen choose a song to be played when they enter the room and approach the head table with the bridesmaids. I am sure all of you know are aware of what groomsmen entrance songs at wedding receptions are, so no further description necessary.

To say the least, this has been a frustrating process. Most of them have been putting WAY too much time and effort into it. It has been like "pulling teeth" trying to get them to choose the "perfect song."

One of my groomsmen was so conflicted and inde-freaking-cisive in terms of what song he should choose, that he sent this text to me today, "I have my song narrowed down to a few, but can't decide. Can you just think of something cool for me? I know I can count on you for that. Thanks, rico."

PERFECT

I replied with, "sure thing, man. You can count on me! I will come up with something that I know will fit you." That was a bunch of bullshit. Oh, you bet your ass that I am going to attempt to select the perfect song for him. But it's going to be perfect "funny," not perfect "fitting." And no one (including him obviously), with an exception of the DJ, is going to know what the song is until it is actually played when he enters the building and makes his way to the head table.

This particular groomsman, is a friend of mine from college. We were roommates for a couple years. He is a stereotypical hill-rod who literally spends all day listening to the pop-country FM stations on the radio while he dinks around the house doing random shit. He is kind of big and burly, was a successful wrestler in HS, speaks with a gruff voice (like he's growling) and grew up on a farm. He and I CONSTANTLY razz each other when we hang out. We have done this from the first day we met. Constantly giving each other shit. Constantly making fun of each other...about everything. With that said, I am surprised as hell that he actually trusts me with this task.

He is also an obnoxious, biased, tunnel-visioned Chicago White Sox and Dallas Cowboys fan. Hell, I won't be surprised if he is wearing his dumb, goofy-looking adjustable Chicago White Sox cap during pre-reception pictures and during the entire reception. I rarely see him not wearing that damn hat. He's had it for years too. I don't know if there are any songs out there that would piss a White Sox or Cowboys fan off, but if there is one..let me know!!!

Ok, so if this guy chose his own song, it would probably something that I personally would consider to be stupid as hell. Something like: "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" by Trace Adkins, "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" by Kenny Chesney or "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" by Big and Rich. However, he made the unwise decision to put his "song of choice" in my hands. And as a result, his entrance at my wedding reception is going to be awesome.

So what y'all got? So far, I am stuck on the song below, but will gladly change it if you guys are able to suggest something better. Think of something CORNY as hell that would embarrass a hill-rod.Thanks in advance!!!

And please. No, "Barbie Girl" song. I've actually witnessed dudes enter a reception with that song because they wanted to be perceived as funny. I don't want this guy to come off as trying to be funny. I want 99% of the people there to think he is gay (NTTAWWT), not funny....because that would razz the hell out of him.

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It's Raining Men

Have You Heard About The Lonesome Loser

Deeesperaaadooooooo

Break My Stride (this is super gay)

oh me so horny

Holy shit, your a fast reader/typer. Those sound pretty gay. I'll have to check into them.

I mean holy shit.

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Also:

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Lol, the tulips one is great. My 2 year old daughter loved this song when I played it a couple seconds ago. My fave one yet.

+1 for Break My Stride. It's Raining Men would get more laughs but Break My Stride isn't such an obvious choice.

Relax, by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

Its about gay sex, for christ's sake

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When I want to be obnoxious and ironic on ridiculous song selection "Wind beneath my wings" is my goto.

You really should just go with a classic.


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Though Break My Stride is definitely a great one.

Great...my 2 year old throws a fit if I attempt to close out the Tulips video. I've probably listened to it 5 times now because she seriously has become so pissed every time I tried to exit the vid.

Gay is too easy you need to use something like this!

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Of course, anything by Culture Club will work...

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Haha, that is a good "go to."

Haha, I didn't know that. Is that song generally known by most people to be a gay song?

Well, you could just cut straight to the chase and loop & repeat this video:

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Take a picture of him with his dick in your mouth to show everyone how gay he is /south park

Bold the important parts.

LOL here's another good choice....

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ok ok, if you get to show the video then this one is a classic!

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They are, but in rural, redneck Iowa...it's cool.

If you want to go with the gay cowboy theme.. go all out and go with inter-racial cowboy homo kind of love

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I wanna go two steppin',
With a good lookin' big black buck,
I want him to come and pick me up in his chevrolet pick-up truck,
And when we're on the dance floor his hat will rise high above,
It's inter-racial cowboy homo kind of love.

Tall of course dark and handsome,
A gentlemen in every way,
A true cow poke in every sense of the word,
We really go to work in the hay.

A bronc bustin' bull ridin' tiger,
Yet peaceful as a dove,
It's inter-racial cowboy homo kind of love,

I know that us as a couple,
Will cause talk but I wouldn't mind,
Those cowboys will be pea green with envy,
When they see his cute behind.

That's why each night by the campfire,
I thank my lucky stars above,
For inter-racial cowboy homo kind of love.

Yeah I know that us as a couple,
Will cause talk but I wouldn't mind,
Those cowboys will be pea green with envy,
When they see his cute behind.

That's why each night by the campfire,
I thank my lucky stars above,
For inter-racial cowboy homo kind of love.

Another choice for the 'subtle' gay....

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LMAO, love RHH. I remember hearing "Martini Time" on The Tonight Show in the 90's and I tried finding friends at my school who had seen it or heard of RHH and there was no one. To be honest, I've never seen people reference RHH until venturing to this board.

That song would be fitting for his style and the gay lyrics and all. I'm just worried no one would be able to decipher the lyrics while their is clapping and such taking place.

Lol, my friend is so out of the loop when it comes to "anything other than pop country" music that he probably would literally feel as if he were a macho man, entering the building to that song. In a gruff voice/hillbilly accent he'd be like, "thanks Swaff. That wasn't country, but it fits me pretty well." And he'd be serious for he is narcissistic as hell. He thinks he's macho.

True, it wouldn't have the immediate impact of something like a Rick Roll but if it was loud enough it would certainly have the "did I just hear that!!!" effect. "Black buck? Homo? What the?"

ROFL If you showed the video I'm pretty sure he'd get it!

Haha, I didn't think of it that way. That's a pretty good point.

Btw, per your suggestion, I downloaded a bunch of Elvis Costello. Love it! The wife hates it, so I have to play it when she's not around, but I freaking love it. Thanks for referring the songs you did!

Awesome! Yeah I have another buddy I introduced to EC about 15 years ago and his wife blames me for his obsession to this day.

whatever you end up with, have the DJ mix in a little bit of this one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU

Sounds like someone is begging to be Rick rolled.

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Lol, I don't mean to sound gay or anything, but I think Rick Astley is bad ass!

For real. Loved that song when my mom blared it when I was a kid.

As far as the reception entrance potential...I think it would have been a better option had the "Rick roll" not become so popular. When the crowd hears that, they'll think, "oh haha, Rick-roll" instead of thinking, "hmm I wonder if that guy is gay?"

Sorry, I missed that homosexual suggest was mandatory.

Then I have 8 words for you,

'At first I was afraid, I was petrified.'

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If you have the video capabilities, the Icona Pop scene from Girls might do the trick

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NICE suggestion on both, but Icona Pop in particular. Those girls are gonna be at Lolla this year...I will probably watching a different concert, so will miss them, but yeah...I'm familiar with them and think that would be hilarious.

CP has awesome gay suggestions. I knew I could count on you guys for that! :)

Yes, it is mandatory. And not because I personally have anything against the gay community. I have a gay cousin, gay acquaintances...they've been nothing, but nice to me. So whatever they choose to put their thang in is fine with me as long as they aren't Dahmers and as long as their not trying to put their thang near me...which doesn't seem to be a problem.

However, it is mandatory because my hick-friend is not homophobic...but he's definitely more gay-apprehensive than he should be. He is very ignorant when it comes to gay people. As mentioned, he is narcissistic and literally feels that if a person is gay, that means they automatically crave his buns.

He definitely doesn't want to be affiliated with anything gay...so finding something gay for him to enter to is a necessity...anything to make him cringe from embarrassment.

How bout this:

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Maybe you could give him a seating placard that instead of his name had '90's bitch' on it.

I wasn't suggesting anything, just explaining that I initially thought you were just going for cheesy and embarrassing, not knowing that the gay part was your central aim.

I would suggest 'Under Pressure' but it's a little to solemn for actual homosexuals to be outright gutbusting funny.




Also, that's why the video is so necessary on Icona Pop, the song is not overtly gay, but Andrew Rennells is as gay as flipflops on Fire Island.

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Can't get much gayer than this...

You have lived a SHELTERED life. ROFL ROFL ROFL

I think you meant 'can't get much more overtly gay.'

Haha, where's the "fyp?"

Edit: Nevermind, I forgot I typed that last part and what it was pertaining to.

LMAO This would be perfect if there weren't going to be a bunch of Churchy family members in attendance.

Retro - Jimmy Cagney. Yankee Doodle Dandy.

Haha, nice...

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I have no idea how I or anyone else hadn't thought of this until now.

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LOL, that's the one. If you could cut it in at about 1:20 I know that would embarrass the shit out of me.

Talk about all the fun times you had that time with the hookers and blow

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If you want to be offensive as hell:

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Thomas Dolbys "She Blinded Me With Science"

/thread

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Haha, after the entrance and it's time to give speeches, he'll probably be tempted to make some shit up like that about me. I may wanna watch out a bit.... Haha, nahhh...I'll just take the "It Wasn't Me" Shaggy approach to a predicament like that.

Lol, wow some good ones being posted.

I have officially changed my mind from Paula Abdul, "Straight Up," to the "Tulip Song," to Icona Pop, to "I'm Every Woman," to considering Yankee Doodle Dandee, to "Dancing Queen." I can't imagine anything that can pass "Dancing Queen."

This one isn't terribly subtle....

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Everybody likes Tacos.

No bieber?

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Oh how I despise Nickelback. Unfortunately though, if this guy were to listen to a rock band instead of a country band, it would probably be Nickelback. Not to mention, the crowd will likely generally like Nickelback. Rural/small-town Iowans. This "reminds me." I need to write the DJ an email and demand NO NICKELBACK. My wife hates them as much or more than I do...we are rare for our area because Nickelback is one of the most requested at our local receptions/parties/bars. Yuck.

* Side note about this groomsman: I've mentioned a couple times that he is extremely narcissistic. This may give you an idea of the extent of his narcissism. Every time my friends and I sat around and talked in depth about women, girlfriends, etc. His advice/answer to EVERYTHING, in his growly ass voice was "just let her suck ya off and she'll be happy." As if women LOVE to do that.

The funny thing was that he LITERALLY believed that an appropriate, helpful piece of advice to something random with your girlfriend would be that line. Let's say, you are like, "ahh man, I am so bummed. My girlfriend won't even talk to me." Dude would be like, "let her such ya off. It's that simple. Things will work out fine if ya just let her suck ya off."

It became one of our catch phrases in our group of friends...similar to the catch-phrases used in here. If we ever had a chance to drop that line, we would...in our growly ass voices trying to mimic him. And we'd do it right in front of him and he wouldn't know we were joking around OR mimicking his voice. He'd just be sitting there nodding his head and would be like, "yup, that's exactly what ya do!" And would be stone-cold serious about it.

Haha, dude is a trip.

Great Howard Stern costume.

like 5 people alive get that reference [as in it's source].

My god that would be hilarious. ROFL

Rico, please, whatever song you choose, you HAVE GOT TO film this. LMAO

:) Plannin' on it, mang.

Haha, you guys may razz me about the song I chose for myself, but the people at the reception will "get it":

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Has "cream" or "purple rain" both by prince been suggested yet? Because they seem worthy suggestions...

It's got to be Tiny Tim with Tiptoe Through the Tulips or Dancing Queen. And my vote's for Tulips.

Well my daddy left home when I was three, didn't leave much for mom and me.....

Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze...

Frank Zappa's, "valley girl", tasty choice

YMCA??

In the Navy??

Dude won't get it. He'll think I picked it for him because he looks like he spends time at the YMCA and because I mistakenly thought he was in the NAVY, not the National Guard (dude was in National Guard). I'm wanting something that will immediately go, "wtf is this shit?!?!" right when he begins walking.

The Tulips one is amazing...leaning towards Dancing Queen, but Tulips isn't out of the question. I change my mind frequently.

If the tulips song played in public, I would instantly crack up laughing. ROFL

dancing queen is perfect.. close this thread

If he's a country-pop guy, tag him with "Man, I Feel Like A Woman" by Shania Twain.

dude looks like a lady

This would be pretty good ROFL