Paralyzed Man Wakes to Find His Dog Bit Off His Testicle
 

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Fluffy white dogs are a menace & should be eradicated (or, if you're feeling humane, universally sterilized). Finally my innate prejudice against them is justified.

http://gawker.com/paralyzed-man-wake...ticl-963044875

If he's paralyzed from the waist down....how did he feel a burning pain?

He's got 1 ball and 2 strikes.

that dog is a ball full of joy

the dog is just returning the favor

That dog is having a ball

The man's lucky he/she didn't prefer bones.

That dog is nuts

The man couldn't feel much besides a slight testticle

This is not what he had in mind when he decided to hit the sack

Obviously the dog was just playing fetch.

We need to turn this dog loose on that convicted dog ****er in Florida....

that's a bitch!

I bet that wheelchair keeps his Armstrong.

Dog probably chewed off a cancer-filled jewel. Saved the man's life only to get put down. Sad injustice.

That part had me curious, too.

Why did I click on this thread. WHYWHYWHY :banghead:

Antifreeze for the dog.

You're not having a ball?

Don't cook bacon and then scratch your balls.

Said the man from his hospital bed:

I now regret my previous decision to spray paint my testes green so they resembled tennis balls.

I wonder if he's off to the rodeo?

When asked how the testicle tasted, the dog responded, "ruff!"

Had it put down, thats sad, i'm sure he loved the little squirt.

No more Gravy Train for that pooch.

Raw doggin' it.

LMAO

his new nickname could be "Wrecking Ball"

Who knew the Zombie Apocalypse would be started by a "small, white, fluffy" dog in Arkansas and not Florida?

He got Bob Barkered by his own dog.

You can't spend all day yelling, "Get the ball, boy! Get the ball!" and not expect a little confusion come nightfall.

that would be an interesting 911 call.
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Ban testicles!

LMAO

"Yes, I'm serious. He ate my testicle!"

". No, no, just the one"

that's what you get for sleeping naked with a dog.

"No. No, Man. Shit no, Man! I believe you could get your ass kicked for saying something like that, Man!"

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...8PiX_lbCVleSHA

Nice LMAO

I wonder if his name was Johnny?

If I was an asshole, I would say that it sounds like your wife gnawed one of your nuts off and you speak from experience.

However, I am not, so I won't.

The good news is that the guy worries much less about nut hooks...

don't kid yourself, you are a tremendous asshole.

St. Bernard Medical Center ROFL

First he's gotta get his right step right.

Lance Armstrong Jr.

Tremendous?

That's giving me a heck of a lot of credit.

However, in light of this, I rescind my previous statement of not saying it and, in fact, I now do say it. The whole thing.

That guy has a lot of balls to share that story...sec

How the F@ck did this story not happen in Florida??

Those in FL only suck on balls they don't swallow them!

Lorena Bobbitt trained this dog well

The man with tin balls rubs it in.

The odd thing is if the guy is paralyzed from the waste down how did he feel the pain?

Seems the dog cured his paralysis.

That's what happens when you put too much peanut butter on it.

Because this needs to be here.....

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I wonder if the vet named the dog almond joy before he put him down....

His ball got polished off.
Posted via Mobile Device

****ing story is nuts.

Is the guy black?

clearly not or the dog would have choked to death trying to swallow it.

LMAOLMAOROFLROFL:LOL: Nice.

Alas the dog going "coo coo for cocoa nuts" won't ever be used. I am disappoint :(

Sounds like that dog had a ball

Why you don't pass out watching stand by me with your new dog....

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