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Old 07-30-2013, 02:04 PM  
Cave Johnson Cave Johnson is offline
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Paralyzed Man Wakes to Find His Dog Bit Off His Testicle



Fluffy white dogs are a menace & should be eradicated (or, if you're feeling humane, universally sterilized). Finally my innate prejudice against them is justified.

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An Arkansas man paralyzed from the waist down told police he awoke Monday morning to a "burning pain," only to find his dog chewing on a ball. His ball, that is.

According to the official police report, the 39-year-old Trumann resident regularly sleeps in the raw, and was fully nude when he woke up yesterday around 7:45 AM to discover his dog "had eaten one of his testicles."

The unidentified owner had rescued the "small, white, fluffy" stray just three weeks ago, and had yet to take it in for a checkup.

Sadly, the dog's first visit to a vet was to be euthanized.

The Arkansas Department of Health will test the dog's remains for rabies.

Meanwhile, adding insult to injury, the man was transported to St. Bernards Regional Medical Center to be treated.
http://gawker.com/paralyzed-man-wake...ticl-963044875
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Cave Johnson is too fat/Omaha.Cave Johnson is too fat/Omaha.Cave Johnson is too fat/Omaha.Cave Johnson is too fat/Omaha.Cave Johnson is too fat/Omaha.Cave Johnson is too fat/Omaha.Cave Johnson is too fat/Omaha.Cave Johnson is too fat/Omaha.Cave Johnson is too fat/Omaha.Cave Johnson is too fat/Omaha.Cave Johnson is too fat/Omaha.
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:07 PM   #2
Dicky McElephant Dicky McElephant is offline
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If he's paralyzed from the waist down....how did he feel a burning pain?
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:07 PM   #3
KILLER_CLOWN KILLER_CLOWN is offline
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He's got 1 ball and 2 strikes.
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:09 PM   #4
Chief_For_Life58 Chief_For_Life58 is offline
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that dog is a ball full of joy
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Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:09 PM   #5
Chief_For_Life58 Chief_For_Life58 is offline
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the dog is just returning the favor
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Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chief_For_Life58 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:09 PM   #6
loochy loochy is offline
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That dog is having a ball
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Originally Posted by big nasty kcnut View Post
yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:10 PM   #7
Cave Johnson Cave Johnson is offline
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The man's lucky he/she didn't prefer bones.
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:10 PM   #8
loochy loochy is offline
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That dog is nuts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by big nasty kcnut View Post
yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.
Posts: 19,399
loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:11 PM   #9
loochy loochy is offline
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The man couldn't feel much besides a slight testticle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by big nasty kcnut View Post
yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.
Posts: 19,399
loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:11 PM   #10
loochy loochy is offline
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This is not what he had in mind when he decided to hit the sack
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Quote:
Originally Posted by big nasty kcnut View Post
yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.
Posts: 19,399
loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:12 PM   #11
Donger Donger is offline
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Obviously the dog was just playing fetch.
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:17 PM   #12
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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We need to turn this dog loose on that convicted dog ****er in Florida....
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:19 PM   #13
frankotank frankotank is offline
I like 'em mustard & biscuits
 
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that's a bitch!
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:19 PM   #14
KCUnited KCUnited is offline
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I bet that wheelchair keeps his Armstrong.
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:44 PM   #15
Phobia Phobia is offline
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Dog probably chewed off a cancer-filled jewel. Saved the man's life only to get put down. Sad injustice.
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