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Phobia is a bastard. I thought I'd throw that out while I still have the chance :D

My roommate and I got hammered my freshman year and were tearing up our room after coming home from a party. It started with him tearing the place apart in a vain search for some controlled substances he was missing but we were pretty loaded and it ended up in us pelting some passersby out on the lawn with empty cans from our 3rd story window.

Unfortunately those passersby were cops and came up for a visit and took us for a nice ride in their car and a visit to their office being that we were both 18, it was a dry campus, and a few other minor details.

That is a tamer one, anyway

I'll come back tonight drunk....I got a couple of doosies: good thing the statute of limitations has run out. :D

You're buckin' for a temporary ban/Phobia fugg with you day, eh?

This is less funny and more so disgusting. But I went to MU to hang out and party with a bunch of my friends. It was a good time and everything was kind of winding down. Alot of people were asleep and I was talking to a buddy of mine on a couch.

While we were talking a girl walked in. She looked really drunk and she was walking around. We were looking at her trying to figure out if she needed some help or not. A few seconds later she pulls her shorts and panties down out of nowhere. We both looked at eachother laughing but then she decideds to squat down and take a crap right there in this carpeted room...she then fell asleep right there.

This poor girl happened to be in a sorority and her name was Whitney. Soon enough the whole greek universe found out and she was dubbed "Shitney" on campus. She ended up transferring...

Here's just the punchline:

So I walk out of the store, it's downtown, middle of the day. At the stoplight in his squad car is my friend Tom. So I yell at him as loud as I can:
"HEY PIG....Wanna Buy Some Coke?"

Later that night at the bar I puked in the parking lot.

You'll have to guess the rest.

Yeah, because that's turned out so well for ya in the past...

This one time, I threw up on a cop...

omfg ROFL

It it was a Maryville cop, good work.

Huh... I knew a Whitney at NW that had transferred from somewhere.... maybe this is why she didn't say where she transferred from.... "Oh, Shitney!" ROFL

Damn, two friggin' nights in my life...can't a guy get a second, er third chance around here?

I'll just start by putting Frazod, TJ, Skip, and Zach on iggy; that'll take care of 90% of it. :)

One of my good friends had to go through 2 years of highschool and 1 1\2 years of college without drinking.

He got panchriatitis and was told by his doctor that if he drank alcohal it would have really bad repructions and could even mean death. So he never drank at all...

Then later he goes to another one of his doctors and somehow they got on the subject of it. His new doctor said that the other one was mistaken and that his case was not chronic enough for alcohal to cause a problem. As long as he didn't go way way over board there was no reason he shouldnt be able to drink.

He was so furious but happy at the same time. I still think his parents told the doctor to tell him he couldnt drink to keep him from drinking...

She was really good looking...I mean before the shitting.