ChiefsPlanet - Food and Drink Hate licking envelopes? Not any more!

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Hate licking envelopes? Not any more! (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=218494)

Hate licking envelopes? Not any more!

I present to you....

Bacon flavored envelope adhesive!

Quote:

Technology has given us a lot lately. The car. TV. X-rays. The refrigerator. The Internet. Heck, we even cured polio. But what have our envelopes tasted like for the last 4,000 years? Armpit, that’s what.

Really, people? If we can’t overcome this kind of minor technical challenge, it’s only a matter of time until some super-advanced race of aliens with lasers, spaceships and a delicious federal mail system comes down and colonizes the world. And nobody wants that (except for the aliens, of course).

So, after thousands of years and kajillions of horrible tasting envelopes licked, we’re happy to report that J&D’s Bacon-Flavored Mmmvelopes™ are here to save the day. No longer will envelopes taste like the underside of your car. You can enjoy the taste of delicious bacon instead.

That’s right, bacon. It’s not real bacon, mind you, so you won’t have to start storing your envelopes in the refrigerator. But it really does taste like bacon. Which is what you really wanted in the first place, isn’t it? And it only took us 4,000 years to get there. Eat that, alien invaders.

http://www.jdfoods.net/products/mmmvelopes.php

A small piece of sponge and a small glass of water works pretty damn well too if you're doing bulk.

After stuffing a couple of thousand bacon flavored envelops, even a foodaholic wouldn't be able to eat an baconator again.

Got a Pit Bull problem in your neighborhood?

Soak up some bacon grease in a sponge and throw it over the fence where the Pit Bull lives.

No more Pit Bulls.

i had to google why you would want to send mail. I haven't sent mail for a decade

never understood people's obsession with bacon

$6.99 for a pack of 25?
i'll just stick my Christmas cards in between a couple crisp slices of real bacon, thanks.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Demonpenz (Post 6278526)

i had to google why you would want to send mail. I haven't sent mail for a decade

Because now it tastes like BACON!

It is about time. I have wondered for years why we don't have better flavored envelopes. Of course nowadays we need scratch and sniff e-mail I suppose.

This product is offensive to Muslims.

I'm glad I don't work there....

You'd think the mailman's union would strongly oppose this. So now the mailman has to walk past dogs while smelling like bacon?

After the Bacon Explosion, nothing "bacon related" really shocks me anymore.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 6278659)

You'd think the mailman's union would strongly oppose this. So now the mailman has to walk past dogs while smelling like bacon?

Excellent point.

Leave it to Rainman to see things slightly differently than the rest of us.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 6278659)

You'd think the mailman's union would strongly oppose this. So now the mailman has to walk past dogs while smelling like bacon?

Oooooo! Good point! I could see a sudden increase of dog attacking mailman incidents if this idea takes off.

Given the dog-mailman connection, is this actually part of a nefarious terrorist plot to stop the mail and keep us from getting our CapitolOne ads and Crate & Barrel catalogs, thus grinding the economy to a halt? The fact that they're using bacon is likely a clue that they're trying to destroy us via the very things that they find unholy about our culture.