SMACK DOWN! What are the best ones you've delivered or seen?
 

Please share the best insults you've laid on a poor soul that send him crying to Momma!

Or blistering ones that you have admired as to their artistic genius.

I admit I'm not good at it. I was responding this AM to a whining CPer and realized that I need inspiration.

Show them off!

I just got in a brawl last weekend at the bar does that count?

i remember when someone called someone's mom an "ore". that appeared to piss someone off pretty bad.
sec

Not applicable.

There is no way that I would share my insults in a medium frequented by the giant known as Iowanian.

i called someone a dumb bitch and i have to wear the daddy pants sometime.

Laid the smackdown on mike cock last night. Pummelled him without mercy..then tried to tug his head off.

I once disarmed a kid who tried to hit me with a 2x4 and beat him mercilessly for several minutes until he cried.

FAX THE TERRIBLE

I'm assuming you mean a man named Mike Cock and not your penis. And by pummeled him you mean had sex with him.

In which case i believe you.

It took him several minutes to cry as you were beating him with a 2x4???

Either you swing like a bitch or he was tough as hell.

Suck my dick you ****ing ****

He was kinda stout, you know? Fireplug-like in stature.

You can whack a guy like that with a 2x4 for quite awhile before landing a true, telling blow, Mr. Sofa King.

FAX

"Fat kid," FAX. Just say "fat kid". It's okay.

Well then perhaps it's only a Cassel-like accuracy problem with you then, Mr. Fax.

One time, I called this dude a ReeTodd.

The Badgirl smackdown last week was epic...

Ah, now everyone knows you were the whining CPer I was referring to.

You certainly aren't the sharpest tool in the tool shed are you?

That PhD in waste management has taken you far. :)

Actually, his response just seemed like a normal uninspired reply. I didn't know it was SNR until YOU outed him.

And you are correct, your smaque is lame.

Did you beat him mercilessly with his arm after you disarmed him? Because that would be a nice marriage of violence and classic literature.

IT IS LAME. I normally don't like insulting people.

I've seen some classics on CP. Iowoanian is someone that I don't want to get mad at me. :)

Iowanian is a teddy bear compared to FAX THE ANGRY.

I was in class and talking to one of my friends. You know those teacher's pets that love to "SHHHH!!" you even louder than you are talking to get attention. Well I stopped listening to her and kept talking. I was talking about a sexual situation with one of my ex's and she felt compelled to scream out loud, "How come everything that comes out of your mouth is sexual!?" Everyone, including the teacher, stopped and looked in my direction. Without skipping a beat, I responded, "Bitch! How come everything that goes IN your mouth is sexual!?"

Give me a 2x4 and Mr. Iowanian a fairly enormous dose of Demerol and I'll change his name to Mr. Oweyanian

FAX

Homeschooled?

ROFL

Damn, man.

FAX

HAHA! Ouch.

That is none of your business, sir!

Only a one word response, yet so effective. Nice.:clap:

Well you're not denying it sooooo..........

People are allowed to think what they want.

You just won't fight back, will you?

A homeowner with a garage and his friends disagree with you.

Nope, not really my style.

Oh it's not? I call BS. I think it is exactly your style.

Ha! Yet again, people are allowed to think whatever they want.

What do you mean "people"? Is that some sort of derogatory slam against African Americans? Shame on you.

Sweet. Somehow you knew i can't see shit without my glasses so you post that hateful picture. That's not very nice.

You're not allowed to think that.

I don't think that was applicable, honestly.

Without glasses, how can you tell if it's hateful or not? lol.

I have them on right now. Stop laughing at me. Jerk.

http://www.webdesign.org/img_articles/13819/step1.gif

oh.

That's not funny. Absolutely ruthless.

You don't need to yell! I can hear just fine!!!!!

I gave your mom the smack down last night, does that count?

only if you paid her first

Pfft.

She paid me.

Did she pay you in bubblegum?

nobody pays me in gum :(

:clap:

Nah. She let me take pictures. They can been seen in the BBW thread.

Thank you, thank you.

This was pretty fun, you should post more.

LMAO

That's one of the only threads i've ever hit ignore on in my life, and i'm not about to go digging around for it again.

You're missing out. There's a whole lotta love in that thread. LMAO

A guy I worked for in the Navy. He called me a prick, but then reconsidered:

"Frazod, I called you a prick, but I lied. Because, Frazod, a prick is three things - it's the better part of a man, it's got a head on it's shoulders, and it serves a purpose in life, and NONE OF THOSE DESCRIBE YOU."

I never forgot that one. LMAO

LMAO

I agree. Good times.

Talk is cheap and violence is funny.

Years ago a buddy and I worked for was a total prick. He lost a finger and one eye for reasons I still do not know. He was screaming at my buddy for something saying he should pay attention. My buddy replied "you are the last person who should give me advice about paying attention you nine fingered, one eyed mother****er~

I'm not sure how I should feel about being the inspiration for a thread in which the author is basically asking, "Damn, this asshole won't just leave me and my simple mind alone! How do I beat him?"

give him a suggestion on what insult to use against you?

Chris, you know I hate it when you pull out that weak err... I mean, really potent portable toilet-cleaning smack. If you keep doing that, I'm bound to crack and leave you alone for awhile dude. I just can't handle that stuff.