| Mr. Flopnuts |
06-26-2013 01:49 PM |
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
(Post 9777100)
73. flopnuts
Hi Ma'am, is Chiefsplanet home? No? Well could you tell me where he is living now? Well we used to work together over at mumblemumble and I was trying to find him to pay him the money I owe him that I borrowed after we got a flat over on the bi-pass. I also wanted to tell him about the recent untimely departure of our good friend. So his number is 555-555-1122...thanks Ma'am.
Hi Chiefsplanet, It's flopnuts and your ass is being collected. Pay Video Adventure the late fees on those Disney movies or you're going to be sodomized by a 400lb man. Boom, Collected.
The name flopnuts was proven to be a poker reference when the planet learned that the poster maintaining the name hasn't been able to see his own unit under his panniculus since 1979.
If his skill in Texas holdem is similar to his track record as a mod, it's no wonder he's dealing strip club literature on the Branson boardwalk like an immigrant in front of Bills Casino in vegas.
Flopnuts brings alot to the table. Well, technically he takes more off of the table. Flopnuts has on occasion referred to as a pile of shit, well let me tell you friends I know this is not true. At his rotund stature if that were indeed true, he would be stinking out a town in Kansas.
Flopnuts is the Yin and Yang of Chiefsplanet, as it's not everyone who lives such a varying lifestyle. He buys his $3 elastic band sweat pants at Lane Bryant and his condoms at Baby Gap but he is able to maintain balance by contrasting demands of high road of moderating with low brow shots at posters unable to defend themselves. His new motto....Stay thirsty my friends.
When it comes to multitasking, flop was voted most efficient poster. It's not everyone who can fit that much dude and belongings into a smart car to relocate half way across the nation. Always the optimist, he proved the envy of NASA scientists by stretching his T-shirt collection over the top of the car, where he can both dry and keep the Hanes collection wrinkle free, but change the color every day. He wins cool points with Ricer drivers because they think the Tshirt pockets are a hood scoop. When it comes to attention, no one rivals his desire which is why he'll live the dream by entering the Nathan's 4th of July hog dog contest in his costume of nude.
Pros: Aspirations are reasonable and he will likely make his goal of having his pic on the home page of People of walmart. If you're looking for someone to take material from other posters and mold it into his own, flopnuts is your guy. Also winning in life.....just found $3.75 tucked into his fupa.
cons: Penned an epic roast of luv but spilled a jug of cookies bbq sauce on it and was unable to duplicate it.
Outlook for 2014: Successful failed diet thread, credit for continued attempts and more fat jokes.....a lot more fat jokes.
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ROFL Holy shit. That was fantastic. You know, I don't know if you actually like me as a poster, moderator, or even a human being, but I think you're a funny, down to Earth, decent human being. So I'm honored that you decided to make your first roast, on me. It was a good one too. Although I did see my penis briefly in the early 90's, but it was a fluke. I'd never had a boner as big as the one Kathy Ireland gave me during Necessary Roughness.
All in all, a top 10 maybe even top 5 roast. Very well done, sir. :clap: |
