Life Why do I buy anything nice? - Page 5

KevB · 06-06-2013, 08:20 PM

Wife and three kids along with dog.....

New minivan? Trashed. Ipad? Screen cracked. House? Stains everywhere, generally not cared for. Just bought a nice new laptop for the family? Frame around the screen with a big crack (just found out about tonight).

Not sure what it will take to learn my lesson. Anybody else deal with this?

**Iowanian** · 06-07-2013, 09:39 AM

Sounds like they could all use a healthy dose of going without...

My kids eat at the table and don't ever have food or drinks where they will stain. They take their shoes off at the door, they start making their beds and picking up their toys(at least enough to feel like they are even if we help) every night.

If they mistreat their things, they're taken away.

It doesn't mean we never have messes, it doesn't mean things don't get broken, but they're learning to respect what they have.

In addition to that, we limit screen time to 1hr per day of tv-computer-ipad. They can earn more or lose what they have depending on behavior and actions.

Graystoke · 06-07-2013, 09:52 AM

This is some funny shit.
Kids are all grown here, but before I was Married and had children, I had nice stuff.
I remember waking up one day to a AM/Alarm Clock Radio and that was all that I had. I thought WTF happended to me?

Prison Bitch · 06-07-2013, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Consistent1

Cynical, but there is at least an ounce of truth in that.

No dude has any clue how much the wife changes after giving birth either.

**Rain Man** · 06-07-2013, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prison Bitch

No dude has any clue how much the wife changes after giving birth either.

I remember a friend of mine having a kid a dozen years or so ago, and at one point afterwards she confided in me, "I love my husband, but I would throw him in a fire in a heartbeat to save my kid." I thought that was pretty funny, and I'm not sure if it impacted my decision to not have children.

Graystoke · 06-07-2013, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I remember a friend of mine having a kid a dozen years or so ago, and at one point afterwards she confided in me, "I love my husband, but I would throw him in a fire in a heartbeat to save my kid." I thought that was pretty funny, and I'm not sure if it impacted my decision to not have children.

I would bet 99.999% of Mom's would say that and mean it.
Hell I got thrown in the fire and the kid was fine. She just wanted to make sure.

**Iowanian** · 06-07-2013, 10:05 AM

As a parent, I can honestly say I don't think I'd ever forgive my wife if she chose to save me over a kid. I think I can say with all certainty she'd say the same thing.

**ChiTown** · 06-07-2013, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

Sounds like they could all use a healthy dose of going without...

My kids eat at the table and don't ever have food or drinks where they will stain. They take their shoes off at the door, they start making their beds and picking up their toys(at least enough to feel like they are even if we help) every night.

If they mistreat their things, they're taken away.

It doesn't mean we never have messes, it doesn't mean things don't get broken, but they're learning to respect what they have.

In addition to that, we limit screen time to 1hr per day of tv-computer-ipad. They can earn more or lose what they have depending on behavior and actions.

Yeah, I'm not trying to beat up on Kev. I know how hard it is to keep shit clean, and somewhat new, etc. It's a bitch, and you have to be in concert with your spouse to really make it effective.

That said, I have had siblings that have had similar issues as Kev. Primarily speaking, it's because they didn't put the effort on the front end to help protect the issues on the back end. In no way, am I saying this is what Kev has encountered, but it certainly was the case with 1 of my Brother's and my Sister. It's also been that way with 1 of my dearest friends. The flip side to all of that, is that isn't an indictment of their parenting in general. My brother, who has 9 kids, has one of the neatest Families I have EVER been around. Great kids, who have turned into great adults and great teens. It's just a function of what and where they wanted to spend their time and effort.

There is a multitude of ways to get there - and no one way is better than the other. The goal is raise them so they can become responsible, well-adjusted adults. My house looked like a tornado hit it every day. It had an effect on me. I grew up wanting more organization in my household. My kids, due to my wife and I, will probably want less in theirs someday

KevB · 06-07-2013, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiTown

It's a bitch, and you have to be in concert with your spouse to really make it effective.

I was venting last night; I'm particular about keeping things clean and unblemished so I probably have a fairly high standard. My kids are really great kids and generally take care of their stuff. They've had nice things that they've taken very good care of, I cited the two things that have been nicked up (and I think one was actually my wife's fault, not the kids). But in all seriousness, the quoted above is the key. If you're at work for 12 hours a day, your spouse plays a huge role in how things are run in the household. I wish she were a bit more rigid like me, but there's a balance between that and "don't sweat the small stuff". We probably balance each other pretty well all things considered.

**Donger** · 06-07-2013, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KevB

If you're at work for 12 hours a day, your spouse plays a huge role in how things are run in the household.

Is she a Facebook junkie?

KevB · 06-07-2013, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donger

Is she a Facebook junkie?

Not really. Checks it sometimes, but she's not really a social media participant. She works part time also, just a busy lifestyle running all over the place with work and kids.....like most people these days.

Prison Bitch · 06-07-2013, 10:19 AM

Once the woman has the child she's going to have massive physical pain (first kid) for a solid month or two afterwards. She will often have post-partum depression of some degree. And you will now have a screaming infant and no free time. (Or money)

It's a big life change. People think they know, but they don't know it at all.

**Iowanian** · 06-07-2013, 10:26 AM

Brideowanian won't go to bed with a dish in the sink. Our house is picked up pretty well about every night. she makes sure beds are made and has the kids doing their own at a fairly early age. She works very hard to keep our house in order.

That said, my kids are little hurricanes and if she didn't my house and our possessions would probably look like Moore, Ok. Definitely not trying to project that we're in the perfect home....there are just expectations and consequences.

Kerberos · 06-07-2013, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KevB

Wife and three kids along with dog.....

New minivan? Trashed. Ipad? Screen cracked. House? Stains everywhere, generally not cared for. Just bought a nice new laptop for the family? Frame around the screen with a big crack (just found out about tonight).

Not sure what it will take to learn my lesson. Anybody else deal with this?

My son is now 9 and before he was born I packed everything nice I and my wife had in boxes and stored them in closets and that is where they will stay till after he graduates college and is living on his own.

Short of that your screwed. I will say that a laptop is not a very good thing to have passed around if your kids are young. Get a cheap desktop and tell they kids .... you F*** it up and you will go without. I did that with my sons first computer and he generally takes care of them. (Grandma upgrades her computer every two years so my son does too.)

I agree with Iowanian.... my kid (and his friends when they are over) eat ONLY at the counter or table and no where they can stain anything. The house is generally picked up on a daily basis as my wife is a clean freak to put it mildly.

It's funny how you give kids chores to not only pick up their own crap but to clean other things they have more respect on how they leave things. (not always but after time you can see a difference in their manners)

**Rausch** · 06-07-2013, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KevB

Wife and three kids along with dog.....

New minivan? Trashed. Ipad? Screen cracked. House? Stains everywhere, generally not cared for. Just bought a nice new laptop for the family? Frame around the screen with a big crack (just found out about tonight).

Not sure what it will take to learn my lesson. Anybody else deal with this?

Not so much.

But then i'm not the type of guy that just let's family members run me over...

**Rain Man** · 06-07-2013, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystoke

I would bet 99.999% of Mom's would say that and mean it.
Hell I got thrown in the fire and the kid was fine. She just wanted to make sure.

It's nice that she thinks ahead about those things.

06-06-2013, 08:20 PM
KevB Agree to Disagree Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: The State of Euphoria Casino cash: $10026612	Why do I buy anything nice? Wife and three kids along with dog..... New minivan? Trashed. Ipad? Screen cracked. House? Stains everywhere, generally not cared for. Just bought a nice new laptop for the family? Frame around the screen with a big crack (just found out about tonight). Not sure what it will take to learn my lesson. Anybody else deal with this?
Posts: 14,446

06-07-2013, 09:39 AM	#61
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4738454	Sounds like they could all use a healthy dose of going without... My kids eat at the table and don't ever have food or drinks where they will stain. They take their shoes off at the door, they start making their beds and picking up their toys(at least enough to feel like they are even if we help) every night. If they mistreat their things, they're taken away. It doesn't mean we never have messes, it doesn't mean things don't get broken, but they're learning to respect what they have. In addition to that, we limit screen time to 1hr per day of tv-computer-ipad. They can earn more or lose what they have depending on behavior and actions.
Posts: 61,539

06-07-2013, 09:52 AM	#62
Graystoke MVP Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Driftless Region Casino cash: $875564	This is some funny shit. Kids are all grown here, but before I was Married and had children, I had nice stuff. I remember waking up one day to a AM/Alarm Clock Radio and that was all that I had. I thought WTF happended to me?
Posts: 8,718

06-07-2013, 10:05 AM	#66
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4738454	As a parent, I can honestly say I don't think I'd ever forgive my wife if she chose to save me over a kid. I think I can say with all certainty she'd say the same thing.
Posts: 61,539

06-07-2013, 10:19 AM	#71
Prison Bitch Rabbi Goldmann Join Date: Nov 2012 Casino cash: $5450159	Once the woman has the child she's going to have massive physical pain (first kid) for a solid month or two afterwards. She will often have post-partum depression of some degree. And you will now have a screaming infant and no free time. (Or money) It's a big life change. People think they know, but they don't know it at all.
Posts: 87,025

06-07-2013, 10:26 AM	#72
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4738454	Brideowanian won't go to bed with a dish in the sink. Our house is picked up pretty well about every night. she makes sure beds are made and has the kids doing their own at a fairly early age. She works very hard to keep our house in order. That said, my kids are little hurricanes and if she didn't my house and our possessions would probably look like Moore, Ok. Definitely not trying to project that we're in the perfect home....there are just expectations and consequences.
Posts: 61,539