what is your personal best

blueballs · 12-30-2006, 07:23 PM

time
from knocking on the front door to knocking the headboard
first date extra points

**Fire Me Boy!** · 12-30-2006, 07:26 PM

3 hours, maybe? Dinner/movie... first date. She was a whore. Ended up cheating on me later with her orchestra conductor. She was also psycho.

cheeeefs · 12-30-2006, 07:27 PM

I got a number from a waitress at Olive Garden once while I was in Florida. I called her when her shift was over, picked her up at her house to go hang out on the beach at about 1AM. by 2AM we weren't knocking headboards, but sand got in places it's pretty uncomfortable to be. She was a dirty ho come to find out, so not much of an accomplishment on my part.

PunkinDrublic · 12-30-2006, 07:57 PM

A couple of months ago I had just gotten off work and I was messing around online because I wasn't ready to crash out yet. I get this chick I was chatting with on IM to get on the phone with me. After talking to her on the phone for about a half hour she sounds legit and her pictures that she sends me doesn't lead me to suspect she's lying about who she is or is just an escort. Turns out this lady is on her way over to her ex boyfriends house because he kicked her out and she's trying to get a bunch of stuff back from him. After her ex refuses to let her stay she asks if she can come over and stay with me for the night. I say sure and figure if she's fugly I can just not answer the door. So she gets to my apartment about 3am after I'm directing her how to get there from across town. I watch her get out of the car and I decided that while she's not smokin hot she's cute enough for 3am plus there were no signs of a set up. Anyways after several hours of taking the beef bus to tuna town (of course I used protection), we both crash out and she leaves about 11am and I never saw her again. It was pretty sleazy how it all went down but I'd been pretty preoccupied with school and work, so I hadn't gotten the opportunity to get laid in quite some time. Time 4.5 hours

88TG88 · 12-30-2006, 10:34 PM

probably about 3 hours. it was at a party i get there and its slim pickens. the hottest girl there (not very hot but in comparison to others she was ok and she wasnt under age). we get to talkin and before i know shes downing beers and doing shots. shes starts asking if i have weed or any other drugs. i say no but ask her if she wants to step outside. she does and no sooner do i sit down on the front porch does she have her tongue down my throat. so me being the gentlman i am i ask her if she wants to take this to the backseat of my friends 87 oldsmobile. we do our thing and i leave after she gives me her number. never called her and im sure she was devastated never hearing from me again.

SPchief · 12-31-2006, 01:21 AM

Do hookers count?

wutamess · 12-31-2006, 01:26 AM

Home from school one Xmas break...
My friend hooks us up with 2 chicks at one of the chicks house in Olathe. We get there around 10pm... Immediately I'm thinking... I'd love to phluck that. So we're shooting the shit and decide to watch Scarface. Lights off...

My friend and his girl he'd been talking & sitting on one couch and me and the chick I'm interested in on her other couch. At first we sat on the couch like at different ends. By the end of the movie we're both basically leaning our heads to the middle of the couch flirting, etc.

Movie over...
My friend is ready to leave with his friend as it's about 1pmish... He asks me am I ready to go. I tell him, "nope, I'm staying" (I haven't asked for her approval or anything). As soon as the door shuts she's polishing the knob before we go upstairs and sign the contract.
One of the best nights of my life.

Funny thing is... if she was a slut... she was a high priced slut. She lived in a REALLY NICE NEIGHBORHOOD.

**Bugeater** · 12-31-2006, 01:27 AM

Hookers! Now there's a temporary solution!

wutamess · 12-31-2006, 01:35 AM

Another time (Not so proud of this one)... This was before adultfriendfinder charged and in my (once again) bored college days. This time I was home over the summer.

Hooked up with some chick after emailing & talking with her on the phone. It took about 30 minutes after meeting her in person before we signed the contract.

Another one... Met this chick in the club... Used to be called Tucan Sam's on 85th and Wornall. Got her # and spoke to her for about 1 hour before she was telling me what she wanted to do to me. I thought she was talking shit until I went over her house around 2am & she came to the door with a see-through robe on & no panties.

I was so shocked, I didn't know what to do. small talk small talk small talk... Then she straddles me and starts giving me a lap dance. 30 minutes within meeting her outside the club to sign that contract.

On the reverse side of that... We were in college my sophomore year and one of my friends had his own apartment and had some chicks over & one was for me. To make a long story short... I must've spent 5 hours straight trying to sign that contract. She wasn't budging because she said I wouldn't talk to her the next day if we did.

I finally gave up (after 5 hours). I got to my dorm room and my balls hurt so bad they mad my stomach hurt. Before that, I only heard about the blue balls feeling. I went straight to the shower to relieve myself while taking a shower. Best damn feeling EVA.

Next night we were to go over there. She was upset I didn't come over because she wanted to give me some the next night. By that point, I was so pissed about the night before I wouldn't have touched her cooter with GoChiefs rod.

BWillie · 12-31-2006, 01:55 AM

You gotta use myspace man, it's so easy and alot of the time they talk to you first. I think it's the most efficient way to pick up whores. That way no chicks I know or guys I know will know these girls originally, and that means less drama, which is a very good thing. I can't tell you how many fights I've had in high school and some in college regarding stupid issues with girls. Not only is it efficient, but if u meet them and don't ever want to talk to them again, you don't have to. It's easy to screen too, you can pretty much figure out from their profile if they are crazy or gold diggers, etc. Chicks on myspace are so crazy horny it's not even fair, and when you both don't have any social connection to common family or friends chicks will screw you alot more because nobody will know about it.

But to answer the question, the fastest after I've met a girl to me sleeping with them wasn't from finding them online. It was during spring break last year. It was at the end of the night, club was closing down, and I was annihilated. As me and my buddies stumbled out, I asked a chick what she thought about casual sex. She kinda laughed at first, and we talked for maybe 3-4 minutes. You know, typical drunk talk. Then she's like so where do you want to go? And well, the beach was only about 2 blocks away so that was where the magic occured. I'm sure there was literally sand in her giner when we were done.

Time from first word spoken to each other until the genital fricton ocurred......about 12 minutes.

wutamess · 12-31-2006, 01:58 AM

Oh... forgot PERSONAL BEST.

My dad used to throw some hella parties over the summer (I'm talking 200-300 people attending) in his backyard. Anyhow, my distant relative cousin brings over a friend that's already shit faced. Introduced as soon as they come to party. We go to fix plates and sit down in T.V. room. She asks where's the bathroom to wash the bbq sauce off her hands.

I took her and as soon as she finished washing her hands I was on her & we went into the next room and signed the contract.

She was pissed because I was 2-minute man. I just wanted to quickly get out of the room we were in (my-dad's). That must've been about 15 minutes introduction to signing the contract.

wutamess · 12-31-2006, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BWillie007

You gotta use myspace man, it's so easy and alot of the time they talk to you first. I think it's the most efficient way to pick up whores. That way no chicks I know or guys I know will know these girls, and that means less drama, which is a good thing. Not only is it efficient, but if u meet them and don't ever want to talk to them again, you don't have to. It's easy to screen too, you can pretty much figure out from their profile if they are crazy or gold diggers, etc. Chicks on myspace are so crazy horny it's not even fair, and when you both don't have any social connection to common family or friends chicks will screw you alot more because nobody will know about it.

Happily married now. Now it's more of a question of what's the shortest amount of times between sessions?

Someone will put your suggestion to use though I'm sure.

T-post Tom · 12-31-2006, 02:28 AM

And this one time, at band camp...

**Rausch** · 12-31-2006, 03:55 AM

I have a good one but I save it for people who show up to events.

Ask me about Denise...

Hammock Parties · 01-13-2009, 07:58 PM

This thread requires more replies.

12-30-2006, 07:23 PM
blueballs Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Casino cash: $10004900	what is your personal best time from knocking on the front door to knocking the headboard first date extra points
Posts: 14,233

12-30-2006, 07:26 PM	#2
Fire Me Boy! Cast Iron Jedi Join Date: Nov 2004 Casino cash: $9999900 VARSITY	3 hours, maybe? Dinner/movie... first date. She was a whore. Ended up cheating on me later with her orchestra conductor. She was also psycho.
Posts: 35,253

12-30-2006, 07:27 PM	#3
cheeeefs Aishwarya Rai Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Baltimore Casino cash: $10004900	I got a number from a waitress at Olive Garden once while I was in Florida. I called her when her shift was over, picked her up at her house to go hang out on the beach at about 1AM. by 2AM we weren't knocking headboards, but sand got in places it's pretty uncomfortable to be. She was a dirty ho come to find out, so not much of an accomplishment on my part. __________________ "Yeah, I could do it. We both know you wouldn't stop me. Let's think about the logic. You create man, man suffers enormous amounts of pain, man dies. They say you rested on the seventh day, well maybe you should have spent that day on compassion."
Posts: 3,028

12-30-2006, 07:57 PM	#4
PunkinDrublic Stay down bitch! Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Plano, TX Casino cash: $4360670	A couple of months ago I had just gotten off work and I was messing around online because I wasn't ready to crash out yet. I get this chick I was chatting with on IM to get on the phone with me. After talking to her on the phone for about a half hour she sounds legit and her pictures that she sends me doesn't lead me to suspect she's lying about who she is or is just an escort. Turns out this lady is on her way over to her ex boyfriends house because he kicked her out and she's trying to get a bunch of stuff back from him. After her ex refuses to let her stay she asks if she can come over and stay with me for the night. I say sure and figure if she's fugly I can just not answer the door. So she gets to my apartment about 3am after I'm directing her how to get there from across town. I watch her get out of the car and I decided that while she's not smokin hot she's cute enough for 3am plus there were no signs of a set up. Anyways after several hours of taking the beef bus to tuna town (of course I used protection), we both crash out and she leaves about 11am and I never saw her again. It was pretty sleazy how it all went down but I'd been pretty preoccupied with school and work, so I hadn't gotten the opportunity to get laid in quite some time. Time 4.5 hours __________________ Disappointing my parents since 1976
Posts: 9,550

12-30-2006, 10:34 PM	#5
88TG88 don't tell me about collage Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Los Angeles Casino cash: $10009184	probably about 3 hours. it was at a party i get there and its slim pickens. the hottest girl there (not very hot but in comparison to others she was ok and she wasnt under age). we get to talkin and before i know shes downing beers and doing shots. shes starts asking if i have weed or any other drugs. i say no but ask her if she wants to step outside. she does and no sooner do i sit down on the front porch does she have her tongue down my throat. so me being the gentlman i am i ask her if she wants to take this to the backseat of my friends 87 oldsmobile. we do our thing and i leave after she gives me her number. never called her and im sure she was devastated never hearing from me again.
Posts: 6,274

12-31-2006, 01:21 AM	#6
SPchief In Search of a Life Join Date: Feb 2004 Casino cash: $-1857095	Do hookers count? __________________ Check out SPchief's fundraising page for Special Olympics Missouri - https://support.somo.org/fundraiser/5957339 ^^^^^^^^^^ Click here to help with a special cause. Please help me out
Posts: 36,207

12-31-2006, 01:26 AM	#7
wutamess MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Lee's Summit Casino cash: $4711637	Home from school one Xmas break... My friend hooks us up with 2 chicks at one of the chicks house in Olathe. We get there around 10pm... Immediately I'm thinking... I'd love to phluck that. So we're shooting the shit and decide to watch Scarface. Lights off... My friend and his girl he'd been talking & sitting on one couch and me and the chick I'm interested in on her other couch. At first we sat on the couch like at different ends. By the end of the movie we're both basically leaning our heads to the middle of the couch flirting, etc. Movie over... My friend is ready to leave with his friend as it's about 1pmish... He asks me am I ready to go. I tell him, "nope, I'm staying" (I haven't asked for her approval or anything). As soon as the door shuts she's polishing the knob before we go upstairs and sign the contract. One of the best nights of my life. Funny thing is... if she was a slut... she was a high priced slut. She lived in a REALLY NICE NEIGHBORHOOD. Last edited by wutamess; 12-31-2006 at 01:37 AM..
Posts: 8,290

12-31-2006, 01:27 AM	#8
Bugeater The Maintenance Guy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate Casino cash: $3992680	Hookers! Now there's a temporary solution!
Posts: 70,546

12-31-2006, 01:35 AM	#9
wutamess MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Lee's Summit Casino cash: $4711637	Another time (Not so proud of this one)... This was before adultfriendfinder charged and in my (once again) bored college days. This time I was home over the summer. Hooked up with some chick after emailing & talking with her on the phone. It took about 30 minutes after meeting her in person before we signed the contract. Another one... Met this chick in the club... Used to be called Tucan Sam's on 85th and Wornall. Got her # and spoke to her for about 1 hour before she was telling me what she wanted to do to me. I thought she was talking shit until I went over her house around 2am & she came to the door with a see-through robe on & no panties. I was so shocked, I didn't know what to do. small talk small talk small talk... Then she straddles me and starts giving me a lap dance. 30 minutes within meeting her outside the club to sign that contract. On the reverse side of that... We were in college my sophomore year and one of my friends had his own apartment and had some chicks over & one was for me. To make a long story short... I must've spent 5 hours straight trying to sign that contract. She wasn't budging because she said I wouldn't talk to her the next day if we did. I finally gave up (after 5 hours). I got to my dorm room and my balls hurt so bad they mad my stomach hurt. Before that, I only heard about the blue balls feeling. I went straight to the shower to relieve myself while taking a shower. Best damn feeling EVA. Next night we were to go over there. She was upset I didn't come over because she wanted to give me some the next night. By that point, I was so pissed about the night before I wouldn't have touched her cooter with GoChiefs rod.
Posts: 8,290

12-31-2006, 01:55 AM	#10
BWillie Are you ready to Rumble? Join Date: Apr 2006 Casino cash: $-1398759	You gotta use myspace man, it's so easy and alot of the time they talk to you first. I think it's the most efficient way to pick up whores. That way no chicks I know or guys I know will know these girls originally, and that means less drama, which is a very good thing. I can't tell you how many fights I've had in high school and some in college regarding stupid issues with girls. Not only is it efficient, but if u meet them and don't ever want to talk to them again, you don't have to. It's easy to screen too, you can pretty much figure out from their profile if they are crazy or gold diggers, etc. Chicks on myspace are so crazy horny it's not even fair, and when you both don't have any social connection to common family or friends chicks will screw you alot more because nobody will know about it. But to answer the question, the fastest after I've met a girl to me sleeping with them wasn't from finding them online. It was during spring break last year. It was at the end of the night, club was closing down, and I was annihilated. As me and my buddies stumbled out, I asked a chick what she thought about casual sex. She kinda laughed at first, and we talked for maybe 3-4 minutes. You know, typical drunk talk. Then she's like so where do you want to go? And well, the beach was only about 2 blocks away so that was where the magic occured. I'm sure there was literally sand in her giner when we were done. Time from first word spoken to each other until the genital fricton ocurred......about 12 minutes. Last edited by BWillie; 12-31-2006 at 02:03 AM..
Posts: 52,747

12-31-2006, 01:58 AM	#11
wutamess MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Lee's Summit Casino cash: $4711637	Oh... forgot PERSONAL BEST. My dad used to throw some hella parties over the summer (I'm talking 200-300 people attending) in his backyard. Anyhow, my distant relative cousin brings over a friend that's already shit faced. Introduced as soon as they come to party. We go to fix plates and sit down in T.V. room. She asks where's the bathroom to wash the bbq sauce off her hands. I took her and as soon as she finished washing her hands I was on her & we went into the next room and signed the contract. She was pissed because I was 2-minute man. I just wanted to quickly get out of the room we were in (my-dad's). That must've been about 15 minutes introduction to signing the contract. Last edited by wutamess; 12-31-2006 at 02:04 AM..
Posts: 8,290

12-31-2006, 02:28 AM	#13
T-post Tom Busy in a Kohl's restroom Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Milk/Honey/Gazland Casino cash: $1777293	And this one time, at band camp... __________________ You seem nice!
Posts: 22,365

01-13-2009, 07:58 PM	#15
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $870478	This thread requires more replies. __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 297,216