Life Meeting an old flame

KC Jones · 08-17-2009, 07:22 AM

I just got a hell of a shock. I went to a reunion and saw an old flame. I guess you could say my first true love. What was shocking was the emotions I felt when I saw her. I mean I felt like my world was turned upside down. I've thought of a couple of sappy metaphors since then, but thankfully I have the sense to spare you those.

Part of the reason it was so shocking to me I guess was that I am a very happily married man. I wouldn't trade my life or my family for anything in the world. Until I saw her I had no idea that I'd have any feelings at all for this woman. When I saw her I went over to say hi, someone caught my arm and spun me around for a quick chat and when I turned back she was gone. Later in the evening we ended up getting to say hi and then she admitted she was avoiding me because she was basically having the same feelings I was. We gave each other a quick hug and went our separate ways without letting ourselves near each other the rest of the night until she came by later to say a quick goodbye.

I guess this is part confession (I mean really, who else am I going to tell about this?) and part public service warning. Since getting back home I decided to look up the phenomenon of getting re-acquainted with lost loves and found that it's not at all uncommon and it's ruined plenty of perfectly good marriages. Psychologists theorize that it's emotional imprinting - when we're young and experiencing these emotions for the first time they are basically engraved in our brains very deeply. Here's the shocker and the warning part: Three in four married people who contact their first loves LEAVE their spouse, either emotionally and sexually with an affair, or fully with a divorce.

From reviewing the topic, it's not like these people were necessarily young or had bad marriages either. A lot of them are in their 50's when this happens.

I'm just very happy that we didn't exchange any information and had the sense to avoid each other. I feel like I dodged a bullet. When I got back home to my wife and kids I felt so relieved and so happy. I feel a little guilty for having even had those feelings, but now that I read up about it I can understand it's probably just some chemical soup issues. Seeing the old flame triggered memories and released massive amounts of happy chemicals. whew.

kepp · 08-17-2009, 07:25 AM

Interesting. I have a HS reunion next year and this kind of crossed my mind.

**Skip Towne** · 08-17-2009, 07:26 AM

I did that once...................ONCE

Katipan · 08-17-2009, 07:27 AM

That's really very sweet but you didn't even know the chick anymore.

I couldn't imagine my brain operating that way. The guys I dated in high school were children. I can't associate them any other way. My memories and thoughts would be of child like joy.

**pr_capone** · 08-17-2009, 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne

I did that once...................ONCE

Who was the lucky girl you clubbed over the head and drug back to your cave?

**Skip Towne** · 08-17-2009, 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pr_capone

Who was the lucky girl you clubbed over the head and drug back to your cave?

She called me after I had been married for 10 years. I was happy so I didn't pursue it.

**pr_capone** · 08-17-2009, 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne

She called me after I had been married for 10 years. I was happy so I didn't pursue it.

That's a great thing.

I have an ex who contacts me every once in a while... even tried to kiss me once. At first I was worried that old feelings would come back... then I remembered that she was bat shit crazy and those worries went away real quick.

**Buehler445** · 08-17-2009, 07:39 AM

I honestly don't think I would have any good feelings about any of my old flames. The one that might pissed me off so mightily that the venom I have for her would outwiegh the happiness I had with her.

Tough situation though. Honestly, I think it is good you were astute enough to recognize what was going on. That speaks a lot to you.
Posted via Mobile Device

**Buehler445** · 08-17-2009, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pr_capone

Who was the lucky girl you clubbed over the head and drug back to your cave?

****ing brutal dude. Well played.
Posted via Mobile Device

MOhillbilly · 08-17-2009, 07:42 AM

75% of people are crazy? shit i thought the number would be higher. meh.

Reerun_KC · 08-17-2009, 07:43 AM

There isnt a old flame that can replace Mrs Reerun_KC... After almost 20 years she still rocks!

Reerun_KC · 08-17-2009, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MOhillbilly

75% of people are crazy? shit i thought the number would be higher. meh.

90% of that 75% are here on CP....

**Buehler445** · 08-17-2009, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MOhillbilly

75% of people are crazy? shit i thought the number would be higher. meh.

I'm sure the accuracy rate of the study was ±/- 20%
Posted via Mobile Device

tooge · 08-17-2009, 07:56 AM

I got a call from my first about 2 years ago and we chatted for a while on the phone. I certainly does elicit old feelings. Once I sat back and realized what i have in life now, I was able to simply smile and realize I was lucky to have had such a good time then as someting to grow from. That first relationship certainly shapes who we become. We still send e mails from time to time but I know that is all it would ever be. Besides, she got kinda fat

**Rain Man** · 08-17-2009, 07:59 AM

my first true love was at my 20 year high school reunion. she never knew it, of course. maybe at the 30th i'll work up the courage to introduce myself and make small talk. then again, probably not.
Posted via Mobile Device

08-17-2009, 07:22 AM
KC Jones Genious Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $10012761	Meeting an old flame I just got a hell of a shock. I went to a reunion and saw an old flame. I guess you could say my first true love. What was shocking was the emotions I felt when I saw her. I mean I felt like my world was turned upside down. I've thought of a couple of sappy metaphors since then, but thankfully I have the sense to spare you those. Part of the reason it was so shocking to me I guess was that I am a very happily married man. I wouldn't trade my life or my family for anything in the world. Until I saw her I had no idea that I'd have any feelings at all for this woman. When I saw her I went over to say hi, someone caught my arm and spun me around for a quick chat and when I turned back she was gone. Later in the evening we ended up getting to say hi and then she admitted she was avoiding me because she was basically having the same feelings I was. We gave each other a quick hug and went our separate ways without letting ourselves near each other the rest of the night until she came by later to say a quick goodbye. I guess this is part confession (I mean really, who else am I going to tell about this?) and part public service warning. Since getting back home I decided to look up the phenomenon of getting re-acquainted with lost loves and found that it's not at all uncommon and it's ruined plenty of perfectly good marriages. Psychologists theorize that it's emotional imprinting - when we're young and experiencing these emotions for the first time they are basically engraved in our brains very deeply. Here's the shocker and the warning part: Three in four married people who contact their first loves LEAVE their spouse, either emotionally and sexually with an affair, or fully with a divorce. From reviewing the topic, it's not like these people were necessarily young or had bad marriages either. A lot of them are in their 50's when this happens. I'm just very happy that we didn't exchange any information and had the sense to avoid each other. I feel like I dodged a bullet. When I got back home to my wife and kids I felt so relieved and so happy. I feel a little guilty for having even had those feelings, but now that I read up about it I can understand it's probably just some chemical soup issues. Seeing the old flame triggered memories and released massive amounts of happy chemicals. whew.
Posts: 5,366

08-17-2009, 07:25 AM	#2
kepp MVP Join Date: Aug 2005 Casino cash: $5209212	Interesting. I have a HS reunion next year and this kind of crossed my mind.
Posts: 14,506

08-17-2009, 07:26 AM	#3
Skip Towne Supporter Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: T-Town Casino cash: $10004900	I did that once...................ONCE
Posts: 69,689

08-17-2009, 07:27 AM	#4
Katipan MER Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $2470351	That's really very sweet but you didn't even know the chick anymore. I couldn't imagine my brain operating that way. The guys I dated in high school were children. I can't associate them any other way. My memories and thoughts would be of child like joy. __________________ "Loving him is red."
Posts: 22,825

08-17-2009, 07:39 AM	#8
Buehler445 Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Scott City KS Casino cash: $1964734	I honestly don't think I would have any good feelings about any of my old flames. The one that might pissed me off so mightily that the venom I have for her would outwiegh the happiness I had with her. Tough situation though. Honestly, I think it is good you were astute enough to recognize what was going on. That speaks a lot to you. Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 56,943

08-17-2009, 07:42 AM	#10
MOhillbilly Mama Tried Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $9949903	75% of people are crazy? shit i thought the number would be higher. meh. __________________ True Son of Liberty
Posts: 23,371

08-17-2009, 07:43 AM	#11
Reerun_KC Rock Chalk Jayhawks! KU!!! Join Date: Aug 2005 Casino cash: $8301160	There isnt a old flame that can replace Mrs Reerun_KC... After almost 20 years she still rocks!
Posts: 934

08-17-2009, 07:56 AM	#14
tooge MVP Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Liberty, MO Casino cash: $3664112	I got a call from my first about 2 years ago and we chatted for a while on the phone. I certainly does elicit old feelings. Once I sat back and realized what i have in life now, I was able to simply smile and realize I was lucky to have had such a good time then as someting to grow from. That first relationship certainly shapes who we become. We still send e mails from time to time but I know that is all it would ever be. Besides, she got kinda fat
Posts: 15,161

08-17-2009, 07:59 AM	#15
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $2968491 VARSITY	my first true love was at my 20 year high school reunion. she never knew it, of course. maybe at the 30th i'll work up the courage to introduce myself and make small talk. then again, probably not. Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 141,706