Life any ideas???

Over-Head · 11-28-2010, 08:53 AM

Okay as we all know the chiefsplanet is the only place in life you can get fact, rumor, conjecture, suggestions and bullshit all from the same question because it doesn't matter if you're talking about baseball cards, IED's, STD's or wooden spoons there is actually one expert in that field that hangs out around here or has a spouse, mate, significant other or friend with whatever problem is ailing a person.

Here's my dilema. I want to do a bunch of cooking and baking for the wife for the holidays while I have a few more days off before a big job. Most of the stuff she loves requires heavy whipping cream. Only problem is she is lactose intollerant.
She can eat, hard cheeses: cheddar, mozza, swiss; some sour cream, minute amounts of cream cheese and tofu. She drinks lactose free milk and ice cream. A recipe or substitution for one of those would be fantasatic. She bought a new Christmas cookbook and reads it and drools because she can't eat a lot of it.

She can't have
Heavy whipping cream, condensed milk, evaporated milk, ice cream and the like are a NO NO!! Reactions from projectile vomiting to long ventures in the can are a result.

Besides antifreeze...what can I use for substitution that wouldn't have her cutting me off or have me end up in the middle of a homicide investigation?

salame · 11-28-2010, 08:57 AM

pureed silken tofu my friend

milkman · 11-28-2010, 08:58 AM

I could probably find a suitable substitute for heavy whipping cream.

GloryDayz · 11-28-2010, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by milkman

I could probably find a suitable substitute for heavy whipping cream.

A cup... Really!!!! You outta be in pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!

milkman · 11-28-2010, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GloryDayz

A cup... Really!!!! You outta be in pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure, but I think you assume I was making a jizz joke.

No, I wasn't.

I'm a milkman.
I work in the dairy industry.

I can legitimately check to see what a suitable substitute would be.

Over-Head · 11-28-2010, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by milkman

I'm not sure, but I think you assume I was making a jizz joke.

No, I wasn't.

I'm a milkman.
I work in the dairy industry.

I can legitimately check to see what a suitable substitute would be.

Never knew you were in the Dairy industry, figured like me the "name" came from something long ago.....either way thanks very much

**Shogun** · 11-28-2010, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by milkman

I'm not sure, but I think you assume I was making a jizz joke.

No, I wasn't.

I'm a milkman.
I work in the dairy industry.

I can legitimately check to see what a suitable substitute would be.

so it WASNT a jizz joke

too funny

**Bwana** · 11-28-2010, 09:10 AM

A few ideas for you. It is doable, but wow, a lot of work.

http://www.tasteofhome.com/Healthy/S...ose-Intolerant

http://www.drugs.com/cg/lactose-free-diet.html

http://www.fluther.com/4992/does-any...se-free-cream/

milkman · 11-28-2010, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Over-Head

Never knew you were in the Dairy industry, figured like me the "name" came from something long ago.....either way thanks very much

I'll check around tomorrow and get back to you.

Hog's Gone Fishin · 11-28-2010, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by milkman

I'm not sure, but I think you assume I was making a jizz joke.

No, I wasn't.

I'm a milkman.
I work in the dairy industry.

I can legitimately check to see what a suitable substitute would be.

don't sell yourself short , all joking aside , jizz makes a great substitute for anything consumed by Raiders fans. Overhead, all I need is a mailing address . I'll be glad to help a friend in time of need.

11-28-2010, 08:53 AM
Over-Head Boom, Boom , Crash Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In my shed Casino cash: $9995760	any ideas??? Okay as we all know the chiefsplanet is the only place in life you can get fact, rumor, conjecture, suggestions and bullshit all from the same question because it doesn't matter if you're talking about baseball cards, IED's, STD's or wooden spoons there is actually one expert in that field that hangs out around here or has a spouse, mate, significant other or friend with whatever problem is ailing a person. Here's my dilema. I want to do a bunch of cooking and baking for the wife for the holidays while I have a few more days off before a big job. Most of the stuff she loves requires heavy whipping cream. Only problem is she is lactose intollerant. She can eat, hard cheeses: cheddar, mozza, swiss; some sour cream, minute amounts of cream cheese and tofu. She drinks lactose free milk and ice cream. A recipe or substitution for one of those would be fantasatic. She bought a new Christmas cookbook and reads it and drools because she can't eat a lot of it. She can't have Heavy whipping cream, condensed milk, evaporated milk, ice cream and the like are a NO NO!! Reactions from projectile vomiting to long ventures in the can are a result. Besides antifreeze...what can I use for substitution that wouldn't have her cutting me off or have me end up in the middle of a homicide investigation?
Posts: 12,040

11-28-2010, 08:57 AM	#2
salame Under the Sofa Join Date: Apr 2009 Casino cash: $10010607	pureed silken tofu my friend
Posts: 4,907

11-28-2010, 08:58 AM	#3
milkman Dumbass! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Leading the Marty bashing Casino cash: $10029395	I could probably find a suitable substitute for heavy whipping cream. __________________
Posts: 70,769

11-28-2010, 09:10 AM	#8
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2139293647	A few ideas for you. It is doable, but wow, a lot of work. http://www.tasteofhome.com/Healthy/S...ose-Intolerant http://www.drugs.com/cg/lactose-free-diet.html http://www.fluther.com/4992/does-any...se-free-cream/ __________________ Adventure is dangerous....but monotony can kill you.
Posts: 69,782