Life Planet expertise needed for CL ad

**Bob Dole** · 10-24-2012, 05:43 PM

So Bob Dole just bought what he feels is a lovely 16 acres of NE Texas real estate. Tons of deer and feral hog sign, situated pretty much in the middle of nothing. There is a neighbor on the tract to the south, but not close enough that it is going to be any sort of issue.

Where CP comes in: There is an uninhabitable mobile home on the property that needs to go the **** away. Bob Dole would call the Red Hill Volunteer Fire Department and ask them if they needed some practice, if not for the fact that the resulting fire would damage at least 3 pecan trees estimated to be 80 years old. The thing has been abandoned as best as Bob Dole can tell since 1994, so vandals and animals have taken their toll--and Bob Dole has zero interest in doing anything but making it disappear. Surely there is someone who would be interested in the scrap value of the frame and wiring in exchange for just making the damned thing go away.

Bob Dole is appealing to the awesome collective imagination of The Planet to compose a craigslist ad that will make this zero-sum (for Bob Dole) project a reality. Help a clueless old man write an attention grabbing ad that will result in its removal. (Or at least generate some funny email responses.)

htismaqe · 10-24-2012, 05:45 PM

DO NOT damage those pecan trees. They're valuable - if you like pecans.

**the Talking Can** · 10-24-2012, 05:47 PM

"meth lab...free to anyone who will haul it away"

Delano · 10-24-2012, 05:53 PM

Make it mysterious. Like, the trailer has been boarded up and untouched for 20 years when the previous owner died. Sell it like they do those storage lockers on TV. They can't open the door until the trailer is off the property.

KChiefer · 10-24-2012, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the Talking Can

"meth lab...free to anyone who will haul it away"

, but be sure to say there is no meth or materials in the RV, lest you want the DEA and addicts becoming acquaintances on your doorstep.

**bevischief** · 10-24-2012, 05:57 PM

Free beer if you can find it. Burn baby burn.

**Bob Dole** · 10-24-2012, 05:58 PM

Bob Dole will try to take some photos this weekend. It's a total loss. That might help with the appeal. hehe

R8RFAN · 10-24-2012, 05:58 PM

Take a tractor or a backhoe and drag it to a safe place and burn it then call a a scrap metal guy to take the frame and what metal is left

R8RFAN · 10-24-2012, 05:59 PM

Or destroy it with a backhoe and bury the wood and siding and have a scrap metal guy come get the frame with a torch

BlackHelicopters · 10-24-2012, 06:01 PM

Didn't Bush once sleep in that trailer.

**1ChiefsDan** · 10-24-2012, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by htismaqe

DO NOT damage those pecan trees. They're valuable - if you like pecans.

One of my favorite woods to smoke with.

R8RFAN · 10-24-2012, 06:04 PM

Tell somebody it sat on the Grassy Knoll at one time

philfree · 10-24-2012, 06:05 PM

It'd be hard to know but if it's been abandoned that long it most likely won't be worth it for anyone with the means to move it to do so. Is the tongue on it? How bout' the axles? Tires? Are there trees grown up around it that would have to be cut down?(Not the Pecan trees.) Is there an AC? Any breakers in it?

**Gonzo** · 10-24-2012, 06:12 PM

Well, I think if you'd throw in a couple free hog/deer hunts, you may be able to make that thing disappear.

OR, you can turn it into a hunting cabin or a deer stand of sorts with gun rests, etc.

jspchief · 10-24-2012, 06:16 PM

No one is gonna do that job for free + salvage.

10-24-2012, 05:43 PM
Bob Dole King Shit of **** Mountain Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texarkana, Texas Casino cash: $585437	Planet expertise needed for CL ad So Bob Dole just bought what he feels is a lovely 16 acres of NE Texas real estate. Tons of deer and feral hog sign, situated pretty much in the middle of nothing. There is a neighbor on the tract to the south, but not close enough that it is going to be any sort of issue. Where CP comes in: There is an uninhabitable mobile home on the property that needs to go the **** away. Bob Dole would call the Red Hill Volunteer Fire Department and ask them if they needed some practice, if not for the fact that the resulting fire would damage at least 3 pecan trees estimated to be 80 years old. The thing has been abandoned as best as Bob Dole can tell since 1994, so vandals and animals have taken their toll--and Bob Dole has zero interest in doing anything but making it disappear. Surely there is someone who would be interested in the scrap value of the frame and wiring in exchange for just making the damned thing go away. Bob Dole is appealing to the awesome collective imagination of The Planet to compose a craigslist ad that will make this zero-sum (for Bob Dole) project a reality. Help a clueless old man write an attention grabbing ad that will result in its removal. (Or at least generate some funny email responses.)
Posts: 50,217

10-24-2012, 05:45 PM	#2
htismaqe 'Tis my eye! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Chiefsplanet Casino cash: $9749900	DO NOT damage those pecan trees. They're valuable - if you like pecans.
Posts: 100,274

10-24-2012, 05:47 PM	#3
the Talking Can Supporter Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: street Casino cash: $10012208	"meth lab...free to anyone who will haul it away" __________________ Clark Hunt: "Thank god for the Dominican pool boy"
Posts: 51,585

10-24-2012, 05:53 PM	#4
Delano [b]Supporter[/b] Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A Hypnagogic Landscape Casino cash: $8495015	Make it mysterious. Like, the trailer has been boarded up and untouched for 20 years when the previous owner died. Sell it like they do those storage lockers on TV. They can't open the door until the trailer is off the property. __________________ A million CPilgrims face Mecca. Think of the power behind that fact. All logging in now. And bending. And praying. ChiefsPlanet is the angle at which realities meet. - Don DeLillo
Posts: 12,636

10-24-2012, 05:57 PM	#6
bevischief .... Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Somewhere Kansas Casino cash: $8259352 VARSITY	Free beer if you can find it. Burn baby burn.
Posts: 27,751

10-24-2012, 05:58 PM	#7
Bob Dole King Shit of **** Mountain Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texarkana, Texas Casino cash: $585437	Bob Dole will try to take some photos this weekend. It's a total loss. That might help with the appeal. hehe
Posts: 50,217

10-24-2012, 05:58 PM	#8
R8RFAN Molôn Labé Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: North Carolina Casino cash: $8556872	Take a tractor or a backhoe and drag it to a safe place and burn it then call a a scrap metal guy to take the frame and what metal is left
Posts: 23,170

10-24-2012, 05:59 PM	#9
R8RFAN Molôn Labé Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: North Carolina Casino cash: $8556872	Or destroy it with a backhoe and bury the wood and siding and have a scrap metal guy come get the frame with a torch
Posts: 23,170

10-24-2012, 06:01 PM	#10
BlackHelicopters Spiraling down the Drain Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Dante's Ninth Circle Casino cash: $1040588	Didn't Bush once sleep in that trailer. __________________ "We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87
Posts: 32,610

10-24-2012, 06:04 PM	#12
R8RFAN Molôn Labé Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: North Carolina Casino cash: $8556872	Tell somebody it sat on the Grassy Knoll at one time
Posts: 23,170

10-24-2012, 06:05 PM	#13
philfree Indian Twitter Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Free Agency Casino cash: $-303802	It'd be hard to know but if it's been abandoned that long it most likely won't be worth it for anyone with the means to move it to do so. Is the tongue on it? How bout' the axles? Tires? Are there trees grown up around it that would have to be cut down?(Not the Pecan trees.) Is there an AC? Any breakers in it? __________________ [/SIGPIC]
Posts: 15,534

10-24-2012, 06:16 PM	#15
jspchief BAMF Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Your Face Casino cash: $9998710	No one is gonna do that job for free + salvage. __________________ Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all.
Posts: 27,207