Losing your virginity

siberian khatru · 12-22-2005, 12:04 PM

Some funny stories:

http://avclub.com/content/savagelove

I was an 18-year-old virgin with visions of Hollywood movie sex—perfect lighting and angles, climax together, etc. Instead, my first penetration made the same impression as a tampon, and ended so quickly that I was sure he hadn't come. I was angry that he faked it, so I broke up with him the next day. About a month later, I discovered he hadn't faked his orgasm: I was pregnant! After the abortion, I was a tad leery about the sex thing: ****ing = pregnancy. ****ing Happily Now

************

I got my cherry popped when I was 15 years old, by a 22-year-old man. We were making out on a reclining plastic pool chair. When I told him I wanted to do it, he hopped right in. The initial pain gave way to a feeling of pressure "down there." I naïvely thought that maybe if I let my body release this pressure, I would get my big "O." I let go of the pressure... and immediately started peeing. It flowed through the chair's slats and hit the concrete beneath us in a steady stream. Try stopping your flow of urine while you are being pumped. You can't. I died a million deaths while he finished. When it was over, I asked him how he felt about being my first. "Well, sleeping with a virgin is kind of a pain in the ass," he said, quickly followed by, "Did you pee?" Pool Party Girl

************

After the stereotypical first fumbling experience, which lasted about three minutes before I shot my wad, I laid down next to my girlfriend (failing to notice how very disappointed she looked), stroked her hair, and asked, "How many times did you come?" MN

***********

By 19, I was eager to lose my virginity, not yet having discovered my Sapphic proclivity. I turned down some enthusiastic offers (dear, sweet Tag!), and instead chose a cycling maniac like myself. I remember being under-impressed with the event ("Is that all there is?") and he seemed disappointed that I didn't bleed. After we finished, the condom came off his flaccid dick INSIDE ME. I freaked and ran to the bathroom. The whole household got involved with suggestions and solutions. Looking back, it's pretty funny, but I was mortified at the time. Bike Geek Love

***********

It's so common that it's a cliché: A girl loses her virginity and thinks, "Is that it?" Except that I'm a boy. I had expected that it would feel amazingly better than jerking off or blowjobs, but it didn't. So when she asked me what I thought, I wanted to say, "Is that it?" But I decided to soften the blow while telling the truth. "Um... I've, ah... had better," I said.

Bzzzt! WRONG! Naked Cuddling Rocks

***********

I lost my virginity during a one-night stand to a goofy guy I met my freshman year at Washington State University. The relationship didn't work out, and I relayed my woes to my brother. A few weeks later, my family came to visit for "Mom's Weekend." While we were shopping at the mall, I saw the goofy guy. I went to my brother and said, "That's the guy I lost my virginity to." My brother couldn't spot him, so I kept loudly pointing the boy out until a woman next to me said, "You mean my son John?" When she looked at me with that same goofy smile, I knew that she was definitely his mother. Ouch! Still Shamed

**********

Four years ago, I lost it in a boy-girl-boy three-way on a cruise ship. The girl was 16, the other boy was 17, and I was 15, gay, and closeted. In the girl's parents' cabin, the other boy ****ed the girl first. When it was my turn, the girl noticed that I was staring at the other guy while I was ****ing her. "Are you gay?" she suddenly asked. I was so shocked that I couldn't say anything. Then she started screaming, "Oh my God, you are! You gave me AIDS!" She pushed me off; the other boy jumped up, pulled on his shorts, and then punched me in the face for looking at him. Then he made me wash my dick, which had his come on it, because he didn't want me "tasting his sperm" after they threw me out. The best part? This happened on the first night, and I was trapped on the ship with them for another week. Oh, and I had to make up a story for my parents about how I fell and broke my nose on the Fiesta Deck. My Crooked Nose Looks Sexy

**********

My boyfriend and I decided to consummate our relationship. Everything started okay, until I was hit with a blinding pain. I crawled to the bathroom, where the pain caused me to start puking. He asked what was wrong, and I told him to get the **** out of my house. I called my mom at work. She explained that the first time hurts and thanked me for sharing. In between hurling, I said that this couldn't be normal. She told me to get to a hospital. My boyfriend came back and carried me to the car. After having every resident in the ER stick his hand up me and having two orderlies hold my knees apart so they could stick what looked like a dildo in me for an ultrasound, they determined that the sex had caused a cyst on my ovary to rupture. The doctors thanked me for making them part of my first time. I was too doped up to say "Go **** yourselves." Do I win? First Time Not All That

**********

Readers who want more virginity horror stories can find them at avclub.com/savagelove/vhs. Readers who want to know more about the War On Christmas can read all about it at ****christmas.org.

Mr. Laz · 12-22-2005, 12:08 PM

ouch...

siberian khatru · 12-22-2005, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laz

ouch...

That's what she said.

JBucc · 12-22-2005, 12:13 PM

So, which one's you?

jidar · 12-22-2005, 12:15 PM

I lol'd then rubbed one out.

siberian khatru · 12-22-2005, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JBucc

So, which one's you?

All I'm gonna say is I DIDN'T lose my virginity on a cruise ship.

Mr. Laz · 12-22-2005, 12:44 PM

Brings back memory of my first "attempt"

in high school, girl's mom worked so we had the house to ourselves. In on her bed making out, starting getting nekkid. I got so nervous/scared that nothing would happen.

think about that .... a 16 yr old boy who gets wood anytime the wind blows and nada ... zilch.

i played it off ... how i wanted it to be special and thought we should wait.

'tis embarrassing

**Rausch** · 12-22-2005, 12:47 PM

Hood of a pontiac to a check with heavy metal hair and a motley crue T-shirt at a county fair.

I don't check my mail anymore...

Mr. Laz · 12-22-2005, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rausch

Hood of a pontiac to a check with heavy metal hair and a motley crue T-shirt at a county fair.

I don't check my mail anymore...

paper cuts?

**Rausch** · 12-22-2005, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laz

paper cuts?

Yeah, the last set of papers I got cut pretty deep...

**Rain Man** · 12-22-2005, 12:55 PM

I must say this. She never looked as beautiful as she did in that wedding dress, the veil trailing behind her and her dark eyes sparkling. And I must admit, I felt pretty dapper myself in my tuxedo. I think it adds a lot to the experience to have the excitement of a wedding surrounding the whole event, even if I was only an usher.

Otter · 12-22-2005, 12:56 PM

Damn, I feel pretty good about my experience after reading those. My biggest worry that night was trying to break the 30 second mark in hang time.

I didn't but promised I'd keep working on it till I did.

**morphius** · 12-22-2005, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rausch

Yeah, the last set of papers I got cut pretty deep...

I really shouldn't laugh at peoples pain, but you know...

joesomebody · 12-22-2005, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I must say this. She never looked as beautiful as she did in that wedding dress, the veil trailing behind her and her dark eyes sparkling. And I must admit, I felt pretty dapper myself in my tuxedo. I think it adds a lot to the experience to have the excitement of a wedding surrounding the whole event, even if I was only an usher.

**Rausch** · 12-22-2005, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morphius

I really shouldn't laugh at peoples pain, but you know...

You think it's funny now, but when your kid's 13 with a goatee running around with a can of beer you and Mrs. Morph are going to have a long talk...

12-22-2005, 12:04 PM
siberian khatru 21st Century Schizoid Fan Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Gates of Delirium Casino cash: $2164950	Losing your virginity Some funny stories: http://avclub.com/content/savagelove I was an 18-year-old virgin with visions of Hollywood movie sex—perfect lighting and angles, climax together, etc. Instead, my first penetration made the same impression as a tampon, and ended so quickly that I was sure he hadn't come. I was angry that he faked it, so I broke up with him the next day. About a month later, I discovered he hadn't faked his orgasm: I was pregnant! After the abortion, I was a tad leery about the sex thing: **ing = pregnancy. ing Happily Now ******** I got my cherry popped when I was 15 years old, by a 22-year-old man. We were making out on a reclining plastic pool chair. When I told him I wanted to do it, he hopped right in. The initial pain gave way to a feeling of pressure "down there." I naïvely thought that maybe if I let my body release this pressure, I would get my big "O." I let go of the pressure... and immediately started peeing. It flowed through the chair's slats and hit the concrete beneath us in a steady stream. Try stopping your flow of urine while you are being pumped. You can't. I died a million deaths while he finished. When it was over, I asked him how he felt about being my first. "Well, sleeping with a virgin is kind of a pain in the ass," he said, quickly followed by, "Did you pee?" Pool Party Girl ******** After the stereotypical first fumbling experience, which lasted about three minutes before I shot my wad, I laid down next to my girlfriend (failing to notice how very disappointed she looked), stroked her hair, and asked, "How many times did you come?" MN ******* By 19, I was eager to lose my virginity, not yet having discovered my Sapphic proclivity. I turned down some enthusiastic offers (dear, sweet Tag!), and instead chose a cycling maniac like myself. I remember being under-impressed with the event ("Is that all there is?") and he seemed disappointed that I didn't bleed. After we finished, the condom came off his flaccid dick INSIDE ME. I freaked and ran to the bathroom. The whole household got involved with suggestions and solutions. Looking back, it's pretty funny, but I was mortified at the time. Bike Geek Love ******* It's so common that it's a cliché: A girl loses her virginity and thinks, "Is that it?" Except that I'm a boy. I had expected that it would feel amazingly better than jerking off or blowjobs, but it didn't. So when she asked me what I thought, I wanted to say, "Is that it?" But I decided to soften the blow while telling the truth. "Um... I've, ah... had better," I said. Bzzzt! WRONG! Naked Cuddling Rocks ******* I lost my virginity during a one-night stand to a goofy guy I met my freshman year at Washington State University. The relationship didn't work out, and I relayed my woes to my brother. A few weeks later, my family came to visit for "Mom's Weekend." While we were shopping at the mall, I saw the goofy guy. I went to my brother and said, "That's the guy I lost my virginity to." My brother couldn't spot him, so I kept loudly pointing the boy out until a woman next to me said, "You mean my son John?" When she looked at me with that same goofy smile, I knew that she was definitely his mother. Ouch! Still Shamed ****** Four years ago, I lost it in a boy-girl-boy three-way on a cruise ship. The girl was 16, the other boy was 17, and I was 15, gay, and closeted. In the girl's parents' cabin, the other boy ed the girl first. When it was my turn, the girl noticed that I was staring at the other guy while I was ing her. "Are you gay?" she suddenly asked. I was so shocked that I couldn't say anything. Then she started screaming, "Oh my God, you are! You gave me AIDS!" She pushed me off; the other boy jumped up, pulled on his shorts, and then punched me in the face for looking at him. Then he made me wash my dick, which had his come on it, because he didn't want me "tasting his sperm" after they threw me out. The best part? This happened on the first night, and I was trapped on the ship with them for another week. Oh, and I had to make up a story for my parents about how I fell and broke my nose on the Fiesta Deck. My Crooked Nose Looks Sexy ****** My boyfriend and I decided to consummate our relationship. Everything started okay, until I was hit with a blinding pain. I crawled to the bathroom, where the pain caused me to start puking. He asked what was wrong, and I told him to get the out of my house. I called my mom at work. She explained that the first time hurts and thanked me for sharing. In between hurling, I said that this couldn't be normal. She told me to get to a hospital. My boyfriend came back and carried me to the car. After having every resident in the ER stick his hand up me and having two orderlies hold my knees apart so they could stick what looked like a dildo in me for an ultrasound, they determined that the sex had caused a cyst on my ovary to rupture. The doctors thanked me for making them part of my first time. I was too doped up to say "Go yourselves." Do I win? First Time Not All That ****** Readers who want more virginity horror stories can find them at avclub.com/savagelove/vhs. Readers who want to know more about the War On Christmas can read all about it at **christmas.org.
Posts: 69,329

12-22-2005, 12:08 PM	#2
Mr. Laz Don't Tease Me Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: KS Casino cash: $11047037	ouch... __________________
Posts: 95,626

12-22-2005, 12:13 PM	#4
JBucc MVP Join Date: Oct 2005 Casino cash: $10004952	So, which one's you?
Posts: 12,016

12-22-2005, 12:15 PM	#5
jidar MVP Join Date: May 2005 Location: a Casino cash: $10004900	I lol'd then rubbed one out.
Posts: 5,502

12-22-2005, 12:44 PM	#7
Mr. Laz Don't Tease Me Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: KS Casino cash: $11047037	Brings back memory of my first "attempt" in high school, girl's mom worked so we had the house to ourselves. In on her bed making out, starting getting nekkid. I got so nervous/scared that nothing would happen. think about that .... a 16 yr old boy who gets wood anytime the wind blows and nada ... zilch. i played it off ... how i wanted it to be special and thought we should wait. 'tis embarrassing __________________
Posts: 95,626

12-22-2005, 12:55 PM	#11
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $2938491 VARSITY	I must say this. She never looked as beautiful as she did in that wedding dress, the veil trailing behind her and her dark eyes sparkling. And I must admit, I felt pretty dapper myself in my tuxedo. I think it adds a lot to the experience to have the excitement of a wedding surrounding the whole event, even if I was only an usher. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,719