Sunday morning humor

[Over-Head]

Yeah their old, but what the hell


ONE
I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, “Morning" He said," No, just taking a $hit.

TWO
When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.


THREE
I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup..She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why, and she said, “Because I'm trying to examine you"

FOUR
I was walking down the road and saw my Afghani neighbor Abdul standing on his 5th floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted to him, “What’s wrong Abdul , Wont it start?"

[Bugeater]

I lol'd.

[BigVE]

I lol'd at number 3. Just had to take a piss test this past week and the nurse was like out of a fantasy.

[Royal Fanatic]

#3 made me laugh too.

[Baby Lee]

Originally Posted by Over-Head

TWO
When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.

Reminds me of my favorite Buddy Hackett joke.

Boy goes looking for his mom, finds her in her bedroom. She rubbing herself 'down there' moaning "I need a man, OOOOOhhhh I need a man."

Boy decides to leave her to her business.

Boy comes back later, finds mom shacked up with Carlos.

Next morning, mom fixes breakfast, calls for boy. Boy doesn't answer. She goes to his room, finds him rubbing himself 'down there' and moaning "I need a bike, OOOOoooh I need a bike."