Life Parenting question

**J Diddy** · 02-27-2011, 02:25 PM

I've got an 8 year old son who's literally out of flipping control. I'm talking if he doesn't get his way holes kicked in walls destruction of property, etc. Picking up cussing and flipping people off. I'm trying to keep my cool but it's getting progressively worse. Grounding doesn't work, spanking illicits a physical response by him as well. I don't want to hurt this kid, but I cannot let anyone waylay me.

If you have any advice please hit me up, because I can't continue like this.

**bevischief** · 02-27-2011, 02:29 PM

Have you taken him to see someone like a doctor?

**Gonzo** · 02-27-2011, 02:30 PM

Sounds like it's time to get some help here. A child psychiatrist and medication perhaps?
Don't have to much pride to seek help, it's your kid after all.
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**Bugeater** · 02-27-2011, 02:34 PM

Seek professional help, maybe he needs ritalin or some shit. I'm not a fan of everyone drugging their kids, but this sounds like an extreme enough case that it would be warranted.

Stewie · 02-27-2011, 02:38 PM

Yeah, get him to a professional. Is there an underlying reason for this? Being picked on, for example.

**mlyonsd** · 02-27-2011, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stewie

Yeah, get him to a professional. Is there an underlying reason for this? Being picked on, for example.

Excellent question.

You probably already thought of this but talk to his teacher/s to see if they know of anything going on at school that he doesn't want to talk about.

**cdcox** · 02-27-2011, 02:46 PM

Your ex was an abusive alcoholic, no? No doubt that damage plus the confusion over still having feelings for her has him totally screwed up. Professional help, now.

**Bowser** · 02-27-2011, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bugeater

Seek professional help, maybe he needs ritalin or some shit. I'm not a fan of everyone drugging their kids, but this sounds like an extreme enough case that it would be warranted.

Yes, this.

**cdcox** · 02-27-2011, 02:50 PM

Oh, and be very very careful with kids and psychotrophic meds. Ritalin may be necessary, but I'd be very skeptical about anything more exotic at that age. If you end up going the med route, you need to really check out the doc.

**Gonzo** · 02-27-2011, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bugeater

Seek professional help, maybe he needs ritalin or some shit. I'm not a fan of everyone drugging their kids, but this sounds like an extreme enough case that it would be warranted.

Agreed. That seems to be the universal answer in every case, now. "Get the kid on Ritalin or Prozac etc." I'm surprised they don't make anti-depression meds in the shape of cartoon characters for christ sakes.
This does sound like one of the few cases that really could use the help, though.
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Over-Head · 02-27-2011, 03:10 PM

Lil guys only 4, `time out chair`still working wonders.
But get professional help

**Mr. Flopnuts** · 02-27-2011, 03:16 PM

Pills for an 8 year old is a terrible idea. Consistency, positive reinforcement, and consequences for actions that don't include physical violence. Easier said than done, but pills will only **** him up worse. Try not to ruin his life before he turns ten.

KurtCobain · 02-27-2011, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts

Pills for an 8 year old is a terrible idea. Consistency, positive reinforcement, and consequences for actions that don't include physical violence. Easier said than done, but pills will only **** him up worse. Try not to ruin his life before he turns ten.

I agree pills are not the answer. I was a hyper kid, but alot of it could be attributed to all the candy and pop my parents let me have. Instead of cutting me off, they assumed I was ADHD, doped me up, and it ****ed me up. I'd be full of ideas and fun running to the nurses office after lunch at school, and then I'd be stumbling back tired and imagination-less.

**DaFace** · 02-27-2011, 03:22 PM

When I was a kid, I was an incredibly difficult child. At one point, my parents installed a lock on the outside of my door because they couldn't control me, my reaction to which was throwing toys at the door. Once upon a time, I chased my brother down (10 years older) with a hammer when he pissed me off and beat the shit out of the door to his bedroom.

My mom would tell you that my issue was a communication problem. Not at all trying to brag, but I was a damn smart kid, and I had a lot of trouble communicating with people, including my parents. When they didn't understand (and agree with) me, I'd get pissed off. Once I got over that, I calmed down a ton. I was actually a really good kid in high school.

Anyway, I mostly just grew out of it. No therapy, no drugs. But I'm sure there are things that a true professional could have done that would have made things better for a while. So I guess this post isn't so much advice as it is meant to give you hope that things'll be fine in the long run. Good luck, man.

**Mr. Flopnuts** · 02-27-2011, 03:22 PM

Basically, there's been an example set somewhere in his life, and he's modeling the behavior. He's only 8. It's time to create some new behavior for him to model. It will take time and an incredible amount of patience.

02-27-2011, 02:25 PM
J Diddy Don't Be A Dick Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Joplin Casino cash: $6747192	Parenting question I've got an 8 year old son who's literally out of flipping control. I'm talking if he doesn't get his way holes kicked in walls destruction of property, etc. Picking up cussing and flipping people off. I'm trying to keep my cool but it's getting progressively worse. Grounding doesn't work, spanking illicits a physical response by him as well. I don't want to hurt this kid, but I cannot let anyone waylay me. If you have any advice please hit me up, because I can't continue like this.
Posts: 33,653

02-27-2011, 02:29 PM	#2
bevischief .... Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Somewhere Kansas Casino cash: $8659352 VARSITY	Have you taken him to see someone like a doctor?
Posts: 27,731

02-27-2011, 02:30 PM	#3
Gonzo Stuff & Things Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Yukon Casino cash: $10126924	Sounds like it's time to get some help here. A child psychiatrist and medication perhaps? Don't have to much pride to seek help, it's your kid after all. Posted via Dr. Phil device
Posts: 21,498

02-27-2011, 02:34 PM	#4
Bugeater The Maintenance Guy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate Casino cash: $6232680	Seek professional help, maybe he needs ritalin or some shit. I'm not a fan of everyone drugging their kids, but this sounds like an extreme enough case that it would be warranted.
Posts: 70,443

02-27-2011, 02:38 PM	#5
Stewie MVP Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: West of the Equator Casino cash: $1619901	Yeah, get him to a professional. Is there an underlying reason for this? Being picked on, for example.
Posts: 13,630

02-27-2011, 02:46 PM	#7
cdcox www.nfl-forecast.com Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $2191769	Your ex was an abusive alcoholic, no? No doubt that damage plus the confusion over still having feelings for her has him totally screwed up. Professional help, now.
Posts: 45,543

02-27-2011, 02:50 PM	#9
cdcox www.nfl-forecast.com Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $2191769	Oh, and be very very careful with kids and psychotrophic meds. Ritalin may be necessary, but I'd be very skeptical about anything more exotic at that age. If you end up going the med route, you need to really check out the doc.
Posts: 45,543

02-27-2011, 03:10 PM	#11
Over-Head Boom, Boom , Crash Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In my shed Casino cash: $9995760	Lil guys only 4, `time out chair`still working wonders. But get professional help __________________ ...Illegitimus non Carborundum est...
Posts: 12,040

02-27-2011, 03:22 PM	#14
DaFace Kind of a mod Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Donkey Land Casino cash: $1736899	When I was a kid, I was an incredibly difficult child. At one point, my parents installed a lock on the outside of my door because they couldn't control me, my reaction to which was throwing toys at the door. Once upon a time, I chased my brother down (10 years older) with a hammer when he pissed me off and beat the shit out of the door to his bedroom. My mom would tell you that my issue was a communication problem. Not at all trying to brag, but I was a damn smart kid, and I had a lot of trouble communicating with people, including my parents. When they didn't understand (and agree with) me, I'd get pissed off. Once I got over that, I calmed down a ton. I was actually a really good kid in high school. Anyway, I mostly just grew out of it. No therapy, no drugs. But I'm sure there are things that a true professional could have done that would have made things better for a while. So I guess this post isn't so much advice as it is meant to give you hope that things'll be fine in the long run. Good luck, man.
Posts: 51,966