Misc So I set out for one goal last night... - Page 10

Hootie · 03:50 AM

MATCHBOX 20

**Iowanian** · 04-02-2009, 01:34 PM

Unpossible....Hootie's bad idea jeans are fire proof!

Demonpenz · 04-02-2009, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vailpass

Why are so many up-in-arms over this post? Were none of you ever 23?

alot of them probably have teenage daughters

burt · 04-02-2009, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

Unpossible....Hootie's bad idea jeans are fire proof!

Hell, you're only 23.11... once!

burt · 04-02-2009, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demonpenz

alot of them probably have teenage daughters

Yeah, but they are smart enough NOT to fall for his lines! I can only imagine how poor his game is if he only waite 'til they are drunk!

Demonpenz · 04-02-2009, 01:41 PM

I don't know if this has been brought up yet, but no matter how long you know a woman, there is that small chance that they are fricking crazy and will turn on you. Not like crazy boo hoo these shoes don't match and I am going to cry at dollar general, but flat out call the cops on you and punch themselves in the vagina and claim you raped them. Luckily for me ahem you your penis is no where big enough to match a fist punch

KcFanInGA · 04-02-2009, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rausch

Yep.

That stink might have been from being a little low and outside the "plate."

Hahahaha!!! This.

KcFanInGA · 04-02-2009, 02:02 PM

I like my pussy like I like my biscuits...extra yeasty!!!

KcFanInGA · 04-02-2009, 02:03 PM

Hey, maybe you stuck your fingers in a two day old creampie courtesy of dude number 3.

burt · 04-02-2009, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KcFanInGA

Hey, maybe you stuck your fingers in a two day old creampie courtesy of dude number 3.

Just threw up in my mouth.......alot.

XXXshogunXXX · 04-02-2009, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hootie

I always go to the same bar on Wednesday's....

My ex-girlfriend is there every Wednesday as well...we don't really talk that much, but we're not enemies or anything...

We have a very interesting story, but I won't get into it because it's pretty surreal and I doubt many would believe it because it simply doesn't make any sense...

Anyways my current 'kind of girlfriend yet not to serious' was out of town for a birthday party or something so I told my friend that I had one goal, and it was to hook up with my ex, but he didn't think I could...

I had my doubts, because I knew she was either with someone else or into someone else...she had a long term boyfriend who was her best friend that will always hate me because he thinks I'm the reason she broke up with him, but the truth is she wasn't physically into him and considered him more of a brother than a boyfriend...but I could tell a few weeks ago when she stopped staring at me all of the time that she had found a new "fling"...

Anyways, this girl is a hardcore drinker...she gets wasted and that's when we used to have the majority of our "fun"...

Last week I was with my "girlfriend" and she kept walking by and hitting me in the back...I didn't pay any attention because that's what I usually do, but I knew that she was jealous and that I could use that to my benefit if I wanted to...

So back to last night...my friend had his doubts, but after I was sufficiently drunk enough, I decided to "put myself in the right place", meaning somewhere where I could entice her drunkness with my presence...

and it pretty much worked perfectly.

Her roommate came and talked to me (I was talking to some of my "girlfriends" at a random table)...we were talking about our Chocco Mountain (Mario Kart) races back in the day...and then all of the sudden she was like "do you want to have sex with Emily tonight?"

Hahahahaha. I asked her if she put her up to that to which she denied...but then I knew I was in...so I worked my way over to Em-dawg...and before I knew it we ditched the bar and it was on...

Then, out of nowhere, in the middle of my devious sexual escapade, my ex realizes she is pretty hammered and essentially kicks me out of her apartment (I live across the street from her and the bar is two blocks away)...I'm not mad because I pretty much accomplished everything I set out to do...and figured she was probably going to come to her senses sometime between 1 AM and 3 AM so at least I had hooked up with her again (my goal) for the first time in a month or so...

Anyways, I went back to the bar and my friends thought this whole ordeal was hilarious and were amazed that I somehow pulled it off...but something wasn't right with my ex (probably period week) and my left hand (fingering hand) smelt like total ass...now, we're drunk and find it hilarious that my hand reeks of pussy...

So the rest of the night at the bar my friend and I play a game with just about every girl leaving...

I'd look at Andy (my friend) and say..."dude I think it smells like vanilla", and then he'd say "no dude...it smells like chocolate!"...and then we'd turn to the random leaving girl and say, "what do you think?" and then I'd shove me hand in their face...

I thought I'd share that wonderful story with you...it was a lot of laughs on my end.

you said Em-dawg...haah

Spicy McHaggis · 04-02-2009, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hootie

You guys take things WAY too friggin' seriously.

Dude, my name is user name is Spicy McHaggis because I feel a kinship to all those of Irish descent who become severely inebriated and make the occasional drunken mistake. I'm not being serious.

**Smed1065** · 04-07-2009, 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan

Jehovah does not approve.

easymobee · 04-07-2009, 09:09 AM

You are doing your ex a huge disservice. Espescially if she and your friends are aware of your posts here and are likely to read it ( you even said you would show her this thread ).

You are selling me (the casual reader)
1. Smelly cooch
2. STD history
3. Binge Drinker
4. Cheats when bf is away
5. Regular barfly who can be found at said bar any time the calendar says wednesday.
6. Someone who allegedely would be ok with knowledge of you posting this and sharing her (smelly) vaginal bouquet with strangers for a laugh.

You seem to think this girl is real quality people, but you are painting her to be a real ugly picture in this thread. Is anyone picturing a lovely girl from this story?
Posted via Mobile Device

Katipan · 04-07-2009, 09:12 AM

Those are all symptoms of drinking too much.

Maybe she's a sweet angel of mercy when sober.

MVChiefFan · 04-07-2009, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by easymobee

You are doing your ex a huge disservice. Espescially if she and your friends are aware of your posts here and are likely to read it ( you even said you would show her this thread ).

You are selling me (the casual reader)
1. Smelly cooch
2. STD history
3. Binge Drinker
4. Cheats when bf is away
5. Regular barfly who can be found at said bar any time the calendar says wednesday.
6. Someone who allegedely would be ok with knowledge of you posting this and sharing her (smelly) vaginal bouquet with strangers for a laugh.

You seem to think this girl is real quality people, but you are painting her to be a real ugly picture in this thread. Is anyone picturing a lovely girl from this story?
Posted via Mobile Device

You had me at "smelly cooch".

04-02-2009, 07:29 AM
Hootie Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas, Texas Casino cash: $10004900	So I set out for one goal last night... MATCHBOX 20 Last edited by Hootie; 01-11-2012 at 03:50 AM..
Posts: 56,356

04-02-2009, 01:34 PM	#136
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1808454	Unpossible....Hootie's bad idea jeans are fire proof!
Posts: 62,931

04-02-2009, 01:41 PM	#140
Demonpenz Woman should only make babies Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $-213864	I don't know if this has been brought up yet, but no matter how long you know a woman, there is that small chance that they are fricking crazy and will turn on you. Not like crazy boo hoo these shoes don't match and I am going to cry at dollar general, but flat out call the cops on you and punch themselves in the vagina and claim you raped them. Luckily for me ahem you your penis is no where big enough to match a fist punch __________________
Posts: 54,943

04-02-2009, 02:02 PM	#142
KcFanInGA I just peed a little on my leg Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: GA Casino cash: $10004900	I like my pussy like I like my biscuits...extra yeasty!!! __________________ Know what the pillsbury doughboy has between his legs? DOUGHNUTS!!
Posts: 932

04-02-2009, 02:03 PM	#143
KcFanInGA I just peed a little on my leg Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: GA Casino cash: $10004900	Hey, maybe you stuck your fingers in a two day old creampie courtesy of dude number 3. __________________ Know what the pillsbury doughboy has between his legs? DOUGHNUTS!!
Posts: 932

04-07-2009, 09:09 AM	#148
easymobee _\|_ (^_^) _\|_ Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Playoffs Casino cash: $10005075	You are doing your ex a huge disservice. Espescially if she and your friends are aware of your posts here and are likely to read it ( you even said you would show her this thread ). You are selling me (the casual reader) 1. Smelly cooch 2. STD history 3. Binge Drinker 4. Cheats when bf is away 5. Regular barfly who can be found at said bar any time the calendar says wednesday. 6. Someone who allegedely would be ok with knowledge of you posting this and sharing her (smelly) vaginal bouquet with strangers for a laugh. You seem to think this girl is real quality people, but you are painting her to be a real ugly picture in this thread. Is anyone picturing a lovely girl from this story? Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 607

04-07-2009, 09:12 AM	#149
Katipan MER Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $-759649	Those are all symptoms of drinking too much. Maybe she's a sweet angel of mercy when sober. __________________ "Loving him is red."
Posts: 23,570