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Old 04-02-2009, 07:29 AM  
Hootie Hootie is offline
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So I set out for one goal last night...
MATCHBOX 20
Last edited by Hootie; 01-11-2012 at 03:50 AM..
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Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 04-02-2009, 07:56 AM   #16
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Originally Posted by Hootie View Post
No way...

I just woke up and posted this thread because I am pretty happy about accomplishing my goal...
I do smell something.

I smells me a steam engine full of bad karma turning the bend in your direction...
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
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Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Old 04-02-2009, 07:59 AM   #17
Katipan Katipan is offline
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Do you throw a baseball or bat left handed?

Or is it just fingering?
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Katipan is obviously part of the inner Circle.Katipan is obviously part of the inner Circle.Katipan is obviously part of the inner Circle.Katipan is obviously part of the inner Circle.Katipan is obviously part of the inner Circle.Katipan is obviously part of the inner Circle.Katipan is obviously part of the inner Circle.Katipan is obviously part of the inner Circle.Katipan is obviously part of the inner Circle.Katipan is obviously part of the inner Circle.Katipan is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:00 AM   #18
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katipan View Post
Do you throw a baseball or bat left handed?

Or is it just fingering?
Yep.

That stink might have been from being a little low and outside the "plate."

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Quote:
"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
Posts: 78,091
Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:00 AM   #19
Hootie Hootie is offline
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Well you guys are no fun...this is my biggest accomplishment in the last...I don't know, three months!
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Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:02 AM   #20
Katipan Katipan is offline
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Originally Posted by Rausch View Post
I do smell something.

I smells me a steam engine full of bad karma turning the bend in your direction...
I think he's completely aware of the fact that pictures of his penis are someday going to be used in studies during high school Sex Ed classes.

I think he's cool with it.
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:02 AM   #21
MOhillbilly MOhillbilly is offline
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:04 AM   #22
Hootie Hootie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katipan View Post
Do you throw a baseball or bat left handed?

Or is it just fingering?
I bat left-handed, play hockey left-handed, masturbate left-handed, apparently finger left-handed...and do everything else right-handed.

I suppose fingering really depends on which side I'm on...but really, I guess I prefer left-handed because I just did the fingering motion with my right hand and it simply doesn't feel right...so maybe I instinctively position myself to be able to finger with my left hand every time I'm with a girl?

Hmm...
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Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:05 AM   #23
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Whadda douche.
So true.
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:05 AM   #24
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hootie View Post
Well you guys are no fun...this is my biggest accomplishment in the last...I don't know, three months!
__________________
Quote:
"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
Posts: 78,091
Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:06 AM   #25
Skyy God Skyy God is offline
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I think it's perfectly acceptable to want to be with chicks you've cared about in a moment of crisis. I'd do the same thing if my 360 RROD'd.
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:08 AM   #26
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Stupid drunken whores are hard to find....
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:08 AM   #27
Katipan Katipan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hootie View Post
I suppose fingering really depends on which side I'm on...but really, I guess I prefer left-handed because I just did the fingering motion with my right hand and it simply doesn't feel right...so maybe I instinctively position myself to be able to finger with my left hand every time I'm with a girl?

Hmm...
Way more fascinating than the girl with the stinky twat.
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:08 AM   #28
Hootie Hootie is offline
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I think he's completely aware of the fact that pictures of his penis are someday going to be used in studies during high school Sex Ed classes.

I think he's cool with it.
Well girl thread is about isn't much of a whore...I was her #5...#4 was a 2 minute thing...and she had been with a dude she met at ISU as a freshmen for the 2.5 years she was here prior to me (and that dude was a virgin before her)...

She was always really disturbed that I didn't know how many people I have had sex with...a lot of my friends keep lists...I don't know a lot of names let alone numbers...

I always liked the dude she dated for such a long time because he was her best friend/obsessive stalker who pretty much kept her from doing guys so I'm pretty disturbed #6 is now in the picture and she apparently likes him sooooo much...

I'm the one who tells her about the girls I hook up with after her NOT the other way around...I'm going to scope out new guy next time I see her at the bar (probably tonight)...even though she said she deleted his number because blah blah blah but I know how guys work...
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Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:09 AM   #29
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It seems like drunk girls aren't much of a challenge. Now, a conservative Yemeni girl, now that would be an accomplishment. Go make it happen, and then I'll be impressed.
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:10 AM   #30
keg in kc keg in kc is offline
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I found this on another board, I'm not sure if it's related:
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I always go to the same bar on Wednesday's....

My ex-boyfriend is there every Wednesday as well...we don't really talk that much, but we're not enemies or anything...

We have a very interesting story, but I won't get into it because it's pretty surreal and I doubt many would believe it because it simply doesn't make any sense...

Anyways my current 'kind of boyfriend yet not too serious' was out of town on a Calvin Klein shoot so I told my friend that I had one goal, and it was to hook up with my ex, and she was like “why, girl? That’s slummin’?”...

I didn’t have any doubts, because I knew he wanted me...he’s kind of a goofy-looking guy who smells funny, and he’s got the smallest dick I’ve ever seen, but it’s always worth a good laugh...

Anyways, this guy is a hardcore drinker...he gets wasted and that's when I used to have the majority of my "fun" with him...

Last week I was with my "boyfriend" and I kept walking by and hitting the ex in the back...somebody had put a “smack the pillowbiter” sign on his back with a post-it note…he didn't pay any attention because that's what he usually does, but I knew that he was jealous and that I could use that to my benefit if I wanted to...

So back to last night...my friend had her doubts, but after I was sufficiently drunk enough that I could talk to the loser without laughing my ass off, I decided to "put myself in the right place", meaning somewhere where I could entice his drunkness with my presence...

and it pretty much worked perfectly.

His roommate came and talked to me (I was talking to some of my "girlfriends" at a random table)...we were talking about Brad and Angelina breaking up...and then all of the sudden he was like "do you want to have sex with Elmer tonight?"

Hahahahaha. I asked him if he put him up to that to which he denied...but then I knew I was in...so I worked my way over to El-dawg...and before I knew it we ditched the bar and it was on...

Then, out of nowhere, in the middle of watching him try to beat his limp 2 incher for a half hour, right as I realize he’s about to finally start getting hard, I boot him out on his ass (I live across the street from him and the bar is two blocks away)...It was great I pretty much accomplished everything I set out to do...my girlfriend had been filming the entire thing from the closet, and we’re posting it to failblog.com in the morning...

Anyways, I heard he went back to the bar and was trying to tell everybody that his hand smells like pussy...

I thought I'd share that wonderful story with you...it was a lot of laughs on my end.
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