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03-19-2014, 08:49 PM | Topic Starter |
Time For Your Wake Up Call !!!
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Priceless ?
Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.
As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: 'Honey,breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian. He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, 'Son, what happened last night? Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind you fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean "? I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? His son replies, 'Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, Leave me alone bitch, I'm married! Broken Coffee Table: $239.99 Hot Breakfast: $4.20 Two Aspirins: $.38 Saying the right thing at the right time...... PRICELESS Last edited by ROYC75; 03-19-2014 at 09:59 PM.. |
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03-19-2014, 08:59 PM | #2 |
What's up braj?
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Kill yourself
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03-19-2014, 09:14 PM | #3 |
Baba Ganoush
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with a butter knife.......
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03-19-2014, 09:36 PM | #4 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
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Wow, this doesn't sound like something Jack would do at all. I wonder what happened.
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03-20-2014, 09:57 AM | #5 |
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03-19-2014, 09:38 PM | #6 |
Inmem 2.0
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Too long didn't read
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03-19-2014, 10:24 PM | #8 |
Veteran
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Nice story.
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03-20-2014, 03:51 AM | #9 |
MVP
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I heard Jack was interested in the chiefs
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03-20-2014, 03:56 AM | #10 |
**** off
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"**** up once, lose two teeth....” |
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03-20-2014, 05:32 AM | #11 |
Rockin' yer FACE OFF!
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I thought it was funny.
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We have a million reasons for failure, but not one excuse... Die Donks, DIE!! Holy Crap fellas!!! We did it!!! THREE TIMES!!! |
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03-20-2014, 08:00 AM | #12 |
Supporter
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If at first you don't succeed ...skydiving is not for you. |
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03-20-2014, 08:02 AM | #13 |
Space Cadet and Aczabel
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Thanks, Trump for the civics lesson. We are learning so much about RICO, espionage, sedition, impeachment, the 25th Amendment, order of succession, nepotism, separation of powers, 1st Amendment, obstruction of justice, the emoluments clause, conflicts of interest, collusion, sanctions, oligarchs, money laundering and so much more. |
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03-20-2014, 12:27 PM | #14 |
Time For Your Wake Up Call !!!
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Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it.
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03-20-2014, 07:30 AM | #15 |
Spiraling down the Drain
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Bring him in for a look?
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