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Old 04-10-2006, 02:20 PM   Topic Starter
Simplex3 Simplex3 is offline
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How a woman troubleshoots a problem
1. Recognize that something isn't the way you thought it should be. You may be completely oblivious to small matters like it's never worked that way and it makes no sense for it to work that way. All that is important is that you want it to work that way now.

2. Determine what the most drastic root cause could possibly be for this symptom.

3. Come up with a horror story about #2.

4. Convince yourself that #2 & #3 are happening.

5. Yell for your husband/significant other.

6. Tell them #2 is happening and that it's probably leading to #3.

7. After he returns, winded, to tell you that in fact neither of those are happening and grills you over what the actual problem is, admit the real symptom. Make your speech as cryptic as possible.

8. As he takes simple corrective measures be sure to point out how none of this is your fault and how he could have avoided it all along.

Example:

You get in the shower and turn it on. The water pressure seems low. Rather than checking the valve on the nozzle which regulates pressure, yell loud enough to get your husband out of bed. When he arrives, tell him "There must be a leak {#2} and the basement is probably flooding {#3}". Once he returns from the basement and begins to question you, admit to the actual symptom. Make plenty of excuses about why you were in the right as he reaches up and opens the valve on the nozzle.

Extra Credit
You should "stack" these "problems" whenever possible to make it even more confusing for your male. For instance:

Call him to tell him the Internet is down {#2}. This will be particularly bad since part of his income is derived from the servers hosted on that connection. In this case he will arrive at #3 himself, so pointing it out isn't needed. When he returns from checking up on the entire network admit that your real problem was getting to a website to look up medical information about one of his children. After going through the full process over the health of his child, admit you were trying to take medical advice from some personal website, preferably hosted at anglefire or geocities and were unable to pull the site up.
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Old 04-10-2006, 02:25 PM   #2
BucEyedPea BucEyedPea is offline
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What'd ye'r wife just get y'all riled up....simplex3?
Just call her complex3.
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Old 04-10-2006, 02:26 PM   #3
Simplex3 Simplex3 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BucEyedPea
What'd ye'r wife just get y'all riled up....simplex3?
Just call her complex3.
I see you have the "speak cryptically" part down.
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Old 04-10-2006, 02:28 PM   #4
Skip Towne Skip Towne is offline
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As I've tried to point out in a couple of other threads, women are simple minded little fools. The sooner you learn this the better things will go for you.
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Old 04-10-2006, 02:30 PM   #5
Simplex3 Simplex3 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skip Towne
As I've tried to point out in a couple of other threads, women are simple minded little fools. The sooner you learn this the better things will go for you.


Still not getting any?
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Old 04-10-2006, 02:45 PM   #6
BucEyedPea BucEyedPea is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skip Towne
As I've tried to point out in a couple of other threads, women are simple minded little fools. The sooner you learn this the better things will go for you.
So simplex is a woman....things are going better for me now.
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Old 04-10-2006, 03:33 PM   #7
SLAG SLAG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skip Towne
As I've tried to point out in a couple of other threads, women are simple minded little fools. The sooner you learn this the better things will go for you.
I have learned this lesson at an early age
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Old 04-10-2006, 11:48 PM   #8
luv luv is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skip Towne
As I've tried to point out in a couple of other threads, women are simple minded little fools. The sooner you learn this the better things will go for you.
We may be simple minded fools, but we're not simple enough for men to figure out. Hmmm....
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Old 04-11-2006, 12:28 AM   #9
alanm alanm is offline
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Ahhh women. Can't live with em, can't kill em.

Someone told me that one awhile back. I thought it was funny.
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Old 04-11-2006, 01:40 AM   #10
pikesome pikesome is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alanm
Ahhh women. Can't live with em, can't kill em.

Someone told me that one awhile back. I thought it was funny.
How about

"You can't live with, can't fit more than three in the trunk"

Obscure TV reference.
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Old 04-11-2006, 07:31 AM   #11
StcChief StcChief is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alanm
Ahhh women. Can't live with em, can't kill em.

Someone told me that one awhile back. I thought it was funny.
That's what we say about the Users of our software
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Old 04-10-2006, 02:42 PM   #12
Katipan Katipan is offline
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Men make everything so complicated.

It goes...

what the ****?
how the ****?
should i ****?
where the ****?
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Old 04-10-2006, 02:50 PM   #13
StcChief StcChief is offline
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Anything that happens to the car....

The problem is the same as what happened last time when the car didn't work.

Even if the symptoms and root cause are different.
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Old 04-10-2006, 03:23 PM   #14
RedNFeisty RedNFeisty is offline
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Did you ever think she was just ****ing with you!?!

Hell, if I am out of bed and unable to sleep so is everyone else!!
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Old 04-10-2006, 03:30 PM   #15
Simplex3 Simplex3 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedNFeisty
Did you ever think she was just ****ing with you!?!

Hell, if I am out of bed and unable to sleep so is everyone else!!


I can think of other ways she could keep me awake, though.
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