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03-16-2017, 07:46 PM | Topic Starter |
Life is changing..
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How do you handle the death of a loved one?
Hey everyone.
My grandmother is quite ill, and I believe we're all at the stage where we know the time for her to be taken from this life has come. The only question that remains is for how much longer will we have her? I've never had a close family member die before - and I'm fearful for how things will go for my family and I when she does go. Suggestions. How you handled similar situations. All would be most beneficial. Thank you everyone |
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03-16-2017, 07:55 PM | #2 |
Kind of a mod
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I don't think there is any one answer. Cherish the time you have left. Once she's gone, celebrate her life. Take solace in the fact that she made it as far as she did and presumably had a full life.
You're allowed to be sad. You're allowed to grieve. Things will get easier as time goes on. But overall, just hang in there. It's a part of life and, sadly, it gets easier with experience. |
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03-16-2017, 07:58 PM | #3 |
Supporter
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You just do.
Make the most of your remaining time. Focus on the good things. Usually I just stay busy. |
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03-16-2017, 08:00 PM | #4 |
Fish are scared of me
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30 pack , guzzle .
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03-16-2017, 08:05 PM | #5 |
Mostly Ignored
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Sorry to hear it, Smoke. Daface and Iowanian gave good advice. Also, I might recommend writing down and storing memories you have of her right now, while they are strong in your mind. That way, if they fade as time moves on, you can't read the notes you saved and live them in your mind again.
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03-16-2017, 08:13 PM | #6 |
Scarlett Johansson's boytoy
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My grandmother was relatively easy, she was elderly and had been in bad health.
My brother was suicide and relatively out of the blue, it has been 5 years and I still have dreams sometimes and get choked up about it sometimes.
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03-16-2017, 08:27 PM | #7 |
Going home eventually
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When I was young I lost two close friends at the same time. I've also buried my mother and lost a few other friends. You get over it when you get over it. No magic time time table and no magic cure. Everyone is different.
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03-16-2017, 08:25 PM | #8 |
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS
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I was closer to my maternal grandmother than anybody else in my life. Her death was tough, although she had suffered from dementia for years and by the time she passed it was a blessing that the ordeal was over. I finally got the point where I couldn't go see her - the last time I did, she had no idea who or even what I was and sat there playing with a doll babbling like a toddler. There had been at least a spark of recognition prior to that, but it was gone. I remember I walked out of the nursing home, sat in my car and cried like a little girl. Compared to that, the funeral was a piece of cake.
Just try to be strong for those around you who can't. There are no easy answers. Good luck to you and your family getting through it. |
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03-16-2017, 08:27 PM | #9 |
Ain't no relax!
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Everyone is different. And sometimes, that can even be an awkward or uncomfortable thing. Some people use humor, which others find infuriating. Some want to be alone, while others require companionship. Play it by ear...
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03-16-2017, 08:30 PM | #10 |
#RIPAce
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I'll add a few things.
1. There are signs in the dying process, but everything moves differently with everyone. Don't try to be there at the "right time", just be there as much as you can. 2. Tell her what she means to you. Tell stories. Talk about your life. Talk about anything. Even when or if she goes into a non-responsive rate, scientists tend to believe based on brain waves that people are still very much perceiving what's going on around them. 3. I don't know if this applies to you, but my faith has played a huge part in grieving and going through this. I've found great strength in God's presence and the knowledge that He's with me. Praying for you! |
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03-17-2017, 10:23 AM | #11 | |
On Hiatus
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Quote:
I spent the last 2 weeks of my dad's life sitting with him in hospice and doing nothing but reliving all the great stuff we did together and laughing at all the bone head stuff we both did. There were nothing left unsaid to him or he to me. Because of that, when he finally passed I cried because I would miss him not because of what I didn't say or tell him. As for grieving I don't think you ever have a time limit on it. My dad has been gone for 5 years now and I never know when sentimentality will hit. There is a song out now by the Zac Brown Band called "My Old Man"....it's been out over a month now and still every time I hear it I cry. |
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03-16-2017, 08:32 PM | #12 |
I'll be back.
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My first set of grandparents were pretty old when they passed away so I was pretty well prepared. Didn't bother me much.
The same with the second set, who are still alive, but I'm much closer to them, so I think I'll be a wreck.
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03-16-2017, 08:47 PM | #13 |
Please squeeze
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Big Smoke I am very sorry for you and your family. I had lost several family members prior but when my maternal grandma passed it was very very hard for me. She was basically my 2nd mom and I told her everything and she was always there for me. She lived a long life, 95, but it still didn't make it easy.
I also understand what you mean about being fearful for your family. My grandma was the glue of that side of the family. She kept everybody close and had gatherings etc and I knew that when she was gone everybody would go their separate ways and that is exactly what happened. But just so you know, it does get easier with each passing day. My mom passed 3 years ago and my dad is getting close and then that will be it. It will be rough for awhile but does get easier with time. |
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03-16-2017, 08:49 PM | #14 |
In Search of a Life
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day by day! There is nothing you can do, its going to suck for a long long time. i lost my sister 4 years ago. You dont really recover you just learn to deal with it. It doesnt get easier.
She was like my 2nd mom. I needed anything i could count on her 100 percent. She was basically the 2nd person in this life that i would trust with anything number 1 being my actual mother. It just sucks man! You will get through it though. |
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03-18-2017, 08:36 AM | #15 | |
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