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08-13-2009, 05:45 PM | #136 | |
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08-13-2009, 05:55 PM | #137 | |
Red, White & Blue for the U.S.
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08-13-2009, 06:46 PM | #138 |
Diablo Negro
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I went to Sears yesterday and headed to the tool department.
I asked a guy behind a checkout counter where the timing lights were kept (fairly basic automotive tool, at least I think) and he gets a deer in the headlights look, points over to a corner near mowing equipment and says over there. I turn to look where he is pointing and by the time I turn back he is hauling ass the other way. I think "surely they aren't in the mowing equipment area" but walk that way anyway. I then see an older Sears employee talking with a customer and think "oh, he was pointing me towards this guy". I wait until he finishes with the customer and ask him where I might find a timing light. He looks at me and says" I don't think we have any here, you will need to go to the other building (points outside to the tire sales and installation building) we don't keep many automotive tools here." Now keep in mind I am in the Sear freaking tool department. I look at him and tell him I find that odd. He looks at me for an uncomfortable amount of time without saying anything then says " If we had one it would probably be here" and walk straight over to an area where there are 3 different models of timing lights and goes "oh, I had no idea". This is Sears tool department for God's sake. I thought I was on Punked or Candid Camera for several minutes. If you work in a tool department, you should know what a timing light is. I bet the 17 year old girl at Harbor Freight could have told me exactly where they were. |
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08-13-2009, 09:12 PM | #139 |
error 404
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I go to the gym about three times a week. It is a great place to people watch because working out is so boring. There a some people that I see there all the time and I like to give them nicknames.
The Flash. The guy who get on the elliptical machine. Sets it at the lowest resistance and goes really fast. The Sweat Beast. The guy who gets really sweaty running on the treadmill and then goes around the gym getting all his sweat on the machines and benches. The Dude. The guy who wears all black, black ball cap turned backwards and wears sun glasses. The Redneck. The guy who wears cowboy boots and jeans to work out in. The Cougar. The older woman who is in good shape for her age but wears skimpy tight fitting appeal that shows off her old skin. The Macho man. The guy who comes in and tries to impress all the ladies by llifting more weight than he can really handle and makes loud grunting noises. If you are one of these types then I am not sorry if I offended you . You just look silly or gross.
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08-13-2009, 09:43 PM | #140 |
Learn it. Know it. Live it.
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Why the fuck are you wearing shades inside a gym? Seriously, those are the guys I'd like to see get strangled by an angry elf.
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08-13-2009, 10:50 PM | #141 |
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Took a non emergency call this morning. Lady on the line wants to talk to an officer about driving by an apartment complex that has their sprinkler system on a timer. She states that every other morning the system turns on at the same time and gets her car wet when she drives by it.
The next call is a medical emergency and the person on the line is more calm than the woman bitching about a sprinkler. FML... |
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08-14-2009, 12:13 AM | #142 |
You GOTTA get it done!
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Northern California
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Rainman, I was laughing so hard all memory of my weird experiences in the Bay Area, and there have been a few, flew right out of my head. Get back to you later once I regroup
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08-14-2009, 12:22 AM | #143 | |
You GOTTA get it done!
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Location: Northern California
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From The London Times: A Well-Planned Retirement Outside England 's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were £1 for cars ($1.40), £5 for busses (about $7). Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn't show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent. The Council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the Zoo's own responsibility. The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee. The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll. Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain (or some such scenario), is a man who'd apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own; and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day -- for 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars! And no one even knows his name. |
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08-14-2009, 05:09 AM | #144 |
Please speak your mind
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Good story, bad math. I make it just over $5.1M. And that's if the zoo were open 365 days/yr. And what kind of zoo would be open every day of the year?? I guess the kind of zoo whose employees never noticed the King of the Gypsies was their parking attendant...
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08-14-2009, 09:08 AM | #145 | |
You GOTTA get it done!
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10-02-2009, 11:18 AM | #146 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
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I was walking down the pedestrian mall today, and three homeless guys were talking. One of them was complaining about how some guy tried to stab him, but didn't do it right. The others were sympathetic.
Homeless Guy 1: And he came up behind me, but he just poked me with it. He didn't stab. Like this. (Takes his finger and pokes at the kidney area of Homeless Guy 2.) Homeless Guy 2: You can't do that. Homeless Guy 1: Yeah, it just felt like someone poked me with something. It was ridiculous. He had no idea how to stab someone. Homeless Guy 3: You have to punch. You have to forget you're holding the knife and just punch the guy with your fist. But holding the knife. Homeless Guy 1: Exactly. This guy had no idea what he was doing.
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10-02-2009, 11:30 AM | #147 |
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it's the 2nd of october, and as i pull into the switching office where i work i see the meth-heads that live down the street are outside hanging up freaking Christmas lights. this is about 7am this morning.
just walked out to the truck, and now there's pack of dogs on their porch, howling their asses off. isn't it kind of early for Christmas caroling? sec
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10-02-2009, 11:52 AM | #148 |
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The other day, something caught my eye out the office window and I looked up to see what I'll call a "bag lady" with a big, poofy knitted hat on and some kind of long coat/robe with pajama pants on, standing in the small area between my parking lot and the main road.
She's bent over, not far from my ride, and appears to be messing with a 1/4 full bottle of what I think was sunkist soda that someone had obviously pitched out. Kids hang out in my lot at night, so there is usually something to pick up(beer cans aren't uncommon). Anyway, she picks it up, I'm assume to collect/sell...and then puts it down. She goes across the street to another business and about 10 minutes later is coming back. She goes to the same spot, picks up the same bottle, swishes it around a little, dumps out a glug or two.....removes a water bottle from her pocket and dumps some in the bottle. Then, takes a drink from the Sunkist bottle. |
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10-02-2009, 12:27 PM | #149 | |
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12-22-2009, 11:52 AM | #150 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
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Homeless people really are the most interesting people around.
This morning I was walking in to work and this one fellow I recognize was coming towards me. He always asks for money in a very polite manner, "so he can get something to eat". So he's walking toward me and he's eating some sort of big honey bun/cinnamon roll kind of thing, and as I pass he goes, "Excuse me, sir. Can you spare some change so I can get some-" and then he stopped. Apparently he suddenly realized that his line doesn't work very well if he's actually eating while he's saying it. So he just cut off his sentence and kept walking. I thought it was kind of funny.
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