ARGH! OK, I need opinions please... - Page 3

Vegas_Dave · 07-26-2005, 08:52 PM

My wife works for an orthodontist. As with many dental practices, it is mainly a female environment. In this case, between his 2 offices, the only 2 guys who work there are himself and the other orthodontist he employs.

Most of the women in this office are single and frankly, most of them are downright b*tches.

So the doctor (who is LDS) always like to treat his women to something big at the end of the year. Last year, it was take them all to Celine Dion and a REALLY expensive dinner and then give them each about $1000 that they had to spend on themselves at the Forum at Ceasars.

Sounds great...

This year, I find out that he wants to take all of them to New York for a week, all expenses and shows paid.

Wow, sounds like a nice guy...

Wait for it...

Spouses are not allowed.

This is not a selfish why cant I go thing with me. But my wife and I have 2 very youung boys, 1 & 3 years old. I work my ass off running my family business. She and I have wanted to go to New York together for quite a while. Also, lets keep in mind that she does not get along with most of the women in her office.

Not to mention that in my opinion, any big thing like that or employee party should always be spouses invited (since I am an employer myself).

So is it bad of me to be opposed to her going? Am I wrong in thinking, OK, my wife goes to New York without me, somewhere we have wanted to go together, and I have to work my ass off at work, spend a total of 2 hours per day for a week trekking my 2 boys all over town for babysitting, not to mention then having to be the sole provider for them every waking moment during that time while she is having a blast, Without her husband...

serious opinions needed....

I seriously could bunch the shit out of my walls right now.

Vegas_Dave · 07-27-2005, 10:34 AM

Both of the male doctors Are Married with kids, and their entire families are both going.

The biggest problem for me is that in the reverse situation, I would not have even considered going because I would not WANT to go without her.

Damn me though for always wanting to make my wife happy. I cannot stand the guilt now if she doesnt "get to go".

I was originally thinking fine, she wants to make that her vacation, then I will take my remaining week for this year that same time so that I do not have to worry about babysitting and driving the kids all across creation...

but wait... I run a retail business and that time of year (beginning of December) I am frakin swamped!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**Iowanian** · 07-27-2005, 10:39 AM

Don't just say No....say Hell No.

No guilt....don't let her pull that card....IMO her boss is in the wrong for not allowing spouses on a non-work trip(recreation) and She is wrong for considering going.

Don't let her make you to be the biatch here........Lay down the Law.

Never seen a better place on the planet for:

Spare the Rod, Spoil the Broad.

siberian khatru · 07-27-2005, 10:40 AM

Sounds like the orthodontist wants to do some "drilling" outside the office.

chagrin · 07-27-2005, 10:40 AM

dude, that is just too weird. Is the employer totally eccentric? If not, then something's up.

**Iowanian** · 07-27-2005, 10:43 AM

My Red flag is up big time....

There is NO WAY, that guy isn't trying for some sammich action.

When you see her boss....will he look you square in the eye and have a reasonably normal conversation?

I think if she goes, you should put some glowgerm on her unmentionables, and meet them at the airport, with a black light.

Chief Henry · 07-27-2005, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JennyGump

My opinion is that it really isn't appropriate for him to take them to NY without the spouses. She shouldn't go.

My thoughts exactly.

Braincase · 07-27-2005, 10:47 AM

All expenses paid includes a sitter/nanny for the kids, right?

I would have to say that she shouldn't... and I know that if my wife and I were in a situation like that, she would choose not to go, and then we'd go do the same things together anyway.

**Rain Man** · 07-27-2005, 10:48 AM

So....

for all of you saying that Vegas Dave should say no, let's reverse the situation.

Your boss, or a key supplier for you self-employed folks, is female. Almost all of your coworkers are male. The boss tells everyone that, as an end-of-year reward, she wants to take all of you camping and fishing for a week at Lake Powell, or Alaska, or some other cool place. No spouses allowed.

You guys would all turn that down?

siberian khatru · 07-27-2005, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

So....

for all of you saying that Vegas Dave should say no, let's reverse the situation.

Your boss, or a key supplier for you self-employed folks, is female. Almost all of your coworkers are male. The boss tells everyone that, as an end-of-year reward, she wants to take all of you camping and fishing for a week at Lake Powell, or Alaska, or some other cool place. No spouses allowed.

You guys would all turn that down?

What does my boss look like?

**Iowanian** · 07-27-2005, 10:50 AM

It sounds to me like SHE is either Selfish or up to something too.

She has responsibilites at home, and the fact you say this is a trip you BOTH have talked about....no reasonable, thoughtfull wife/husband would go without the other.

"Hey Brideowanian, I'm off to the Bahamas with Jenny Gump for a work outting..no work, but only ladies from Work and I are going"

Maybe you should tell her that all your Friends who work down at Hooters and Cheetahs are going to be coming over for a slumber party while she's gone.

"Oh mah gawd vegas Dave...I was just watching the new Girls gone wild, NYC video and I think I saw...................."

maybe its HER that wants to travel with those young single women to try to score them without the family?

King_Chief_Fan · 07-27-2005, 10:50 AM

A lot of advice given here.....you got to sort out what works and what doesn't among all those opinions.

On the other hand, you sound more whinney about having to be Mr. Mom .......welcome to the life of most woment in America who have to shuttle kids here there everywhere and do it alone while the hubby is on a business trip.

Your concern is just as valid without the woe is me I have to take care of the children piece of it.

PastorMikH · 07-27-2005, 10:51 AM

If it were me, I'd have a problem with the situation too. A vacation with spouses not allowed just doesn't sound right to me. Even with the Dentists being married with kids, are they HAPPILY married with kids? Also, what types of activities will the single ladies be involved in and what will they be trying to convince the married ladies to join in with?

It's a tough spot because if you put your foot down and tell her you don't want her to go, it appears that you don't trust the wife. If you don't, you get to spend a week without her (sounds like it could be around the holidays too, but you never said a specific date) and you get to worry about her and also be uspet that a vacation you wanted to enjoy together at a later date will be different now as a result of this trip.

I think Fraz in his first post hit the nail on the head.

**Dartgod** · 07-27-2005, 10:55 AM

I guess I'm in the minority too. I would make it her decision and if she wants to go, then so be it. If trust is an issue, then your marriage isn't worth crap to begin with.

**KC Dan** · 07-27-2005, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartgod

I guess I'm in the minority too. I would make it her decision and if she wants to go, then so be it. If trust is an issue, then your marriage isn't worth crap to begin with.

I agree. If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it!

KCTitus · 07-27-2005, 10:57 AM

My wife would not go if I was not invited, especially something that involved something on the opposite coast.

As for my opinion, I for one wouldnt be comfortable with my wife going either and would hope that would be enough to convince her it's not a good idea.

Good luck.

07-26-2005, 08:52 PM
Vegas_Dave Veteran Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Las Vegas, NV Casino cash: $-1455280	ARGH! OK, I need opinions please... My wife works for an orthodontist. As with many dental practices, it is mainly a female environment. In this case, between his 2 offices, the only 2 guys who work there are himself and the other orthodontist he employs. Most of the women in this office are single and frankly, most of them are downright b*tches. So the doctor (who is LDS) always like to treat his women to something big at the end of the year. Last year, it was take them all to Celine Dion and a REALLY expensive dinner and then give them each about $1000 that they had to spend on themselves at the Forum at Ceasars. Sounds great... This year, I find out that he wants to take all of them to New York for a week, all expenses and shows paid. Wow, sounds like a nice guy... Wait for it... Spouses are not allowed. This is not a selfish why cant I go thing with me. But my wife and I have 2 very youung boys, 1 & 3 years old. I work my ass off running my family business. She and I have wanted to go to New York together for quite a while. Also, lets keep in mind that she does not get along with most of the women in her office. Not to mention that in my opinion, any big thing like that or employee party should always be spouses invited (since I am an employer myself). So is it bad of me to be opposed to her going? Am I wrong in thinking, OK, my wife goes to New York without me, somewhere we have wanted to go together, and I have to work my ass off at work, spend a total of 2 hours per day for a week trekking my 2 boys all over town for babysitting, not to mention then having to be the sole provider for them every waking moment during that time while she is having a blast, Without her husband... serious opinions needed.... I seriously could bunch the shit out of my walls right now.
Posts: 1,879

07-27-2005, 10:34 AM	#31
Vegas_Dave Veteran Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Las Vegas, NV Casino cash: $-1455280	Both of the male doctors Are Married with kids, and their entire families are both going. The biggest problem for me is that in the reverse situation, I would not have even considered going because I would not WANT to go without her. Damn me though for always wanting to make my wife happy. I cannot stand the guilt now if she doesnt "get to go". I was originally thinking fine, she wants to make that her vacation, then I will take my remaining week for this year that same time so that I do not have to worry about babysitting and driving the kids all across creation... but wait... I run a retail business and that time of year (beginning of December) I am frakin swamped! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH __________________ Lastly, Redrum_69:
Posts: 1,879

07-27-2005, 10:39 AM	#32
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1758454	Don't just say No....say Hell No. No guilt....don't let her pull that card....IMO her boss is in the wrong for not allowing spouses on a non-work trip(recreation) and She is wrong for considering going. Don't let her make you to be the biatch here........Lay down the Law. Never seen a better place on the planet for: Spare the Rod, Spoil the Broad.
Posts: 62,936

07-27-2005, 10:40 AM	#33
siberian khatru 21st Century Schizoid Fan Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Gates of Delirium Casino cash: $-1215050	Sounds like the orthodontist wants to do some "drilling" outside the office.
Posts: 71,880

07-27-2005, 10:40 AM	#34
chagrin Giggitty! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Missoula, Mt Casino cash: $9804905	dude, that is just too weird. Is the employer totally eccentric? If not, then something's up. __________________ Times have changed, so have I, things are better now.
Posts: 13,414

07-27-2005, 10:43 AM	#35
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1758454	My Red flag is up big time.... There is NO WAY, that guy isn't trying for some sammich action. When you see her boss....will he look you square in the eye and have a reasonably normal conversation? I think if she goes, you should put some glowgerm on her unmentionables, and meet them at the airport, with a black light.
Posts: 62,936

07-27-2005, 10:47 AM	#37
Braincase Banned Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Pond> Me <Barn Casino cash: $11298284	All expenses paid includes a sitter/nanny for the kids, right? I would have to say that she shouldn't... and I know that if my wife and I were in a situation like that, she would choose not to go, and then we'd go do the same things together anyway. __________________ BrainCase
Posts: 15,429

07-27-2005, 10:48 AM	#38
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-532449 VARSITY	So.... for all of you saying that Vegas Dave should say no, let's reverse the situation. Your boss, or a key supplier for you self-employed folks, is female. Almost all of your coworkers are male. The boss tells everyone that, as an end-of-year reward, she wants to take all of you camping and fishing for a week at Lake Powell, or Alaska, or some other cool place. No spouses allowed. You guys would all turn that down? __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,330

07-27-2005, 10:50 AM	#40
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1758454	Might as well get a case of Condoms and a tube of superlube It sounds to me like SHE is either Selfish or up to something too. She has responsibilites at home, and the fact you say this is a trip you BOTH have talked about....no reasonable, thoughtfull wife/husband would go without the other. "Hey Brideowanian, I'm off to the Bahamas with Jenny Gump for a work outting..no work, but only ladies from Work and I are going" Maybe you should tell her that all your Friends who work down at Hooters and Cheetahs are going to be coming over for a slumber party while she's gone. "Oh mah gawd vegas Dave...I was just watching the new Girls gone wild, NYC video and I think I saw...................." maybe its HER that wants to travel with those young single women to try to score them without the family?
Posts: 62,936

07-27-2005, 10:50 AM	#41
King_Chief_Fan Praise Him Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: none ya Casino cash: $4755486	A lot of advice given here.....you got to sort out what works and what doesn't among all those opinions. On the other hand, you sound more whinney about having to be Mr. Mom .......welcome to the life of most woment in America who have to shuttle kids here there everywhere and do it alone while the hubby is on a business trip. Your concern is just as valid without the woe is me I have to take care of the children piece of it.
Posts: 12,362

07-27-2005, 10:51 AM	#42
PastorMikH Will KC ever be better? Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Land of Red Dirt & Necks Casino cash: $9905087	If it were me, I'd have a problem with the situation too. A vacation with spouses not allowed just doesn't sound right to me. Even with the Dentists being married with kids, are they HAPPILY married with kids? Also, what types of activities will the single ladies be involved in and what will they be trying to convince the married ladies to join in with? It's a tough spot because if you put your foot down and tell her you don't want her to go, it appears that you don't trust the wife. If you don't, you get to spend a week without her (sounds like it could be around the holidays too, but you never said a specific date) and you get to worry about her and also be uspet that a vacation you wanted to enjoy together at a later date will be different now as a result of this trip. I think Fraz in his first post hit the nail on the head. __________________
Posts: 20,454

07-27-2005, 10:55 AM	#43
Dartgod Wasted away again... Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: in Margaritaville Casino cash: $3740000	I guess I'm in the minority too. I would make it her decision and if she wants to go, then so be it. If trust is an issue, then your marriage isn't worth crap to begin with. __________________ If you shed a tear for me, please make it a tear of joy. -Joe Tracy (Nzoner) . .
Posts: 52,187

07-27-2005, 10:57 AM	#45
KCTitus Archivist Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: The Ethernet Casino cash: $9882732	My wife would not go if I was not invited, especially something that involved something on the opposite coast. As for my opinion, I for one wouldnt be comfortable with my wife going either and would hope that would be enough to convince her it's not a good idea. Good luck. __________________ Anything you post on this BB can and will be used against you...
Posts: 26,199