Hear ye, hear ye! The great treason trial has begun! - Page 3

**Rain Man** · 11-01-2006, 04:49 PM

The Defendant: Mecca

The Judicial Team

Presiding Judge: Rain Man
Chief Legal Clerk: trndobrd
Assistant Legal Clerk: banyon
Chief Bailiff: frazod
Assistant Bailiff: slag02
Court reporter and commentator: Greg63
Court reporter and commentator: SPChief
Courtroom artist: stevieray

Prosecution Team:

Donger - Lead Prosecutor
Hootie - Assistant Prosecutor
GoChiefs - Prosecuting Paralegal

Defense Team:

Redrum_69 - Lead Defender
JBucc, Logical, SNR, JohnnyV13 - Dream Team Legal Defense Team

The jury:

Adept Havelock
JimNasium
Delano
scott free
On the Warpath58
PastorMikH
Chieficus
AZChiefFan
NJChieffan
Metrolike
mmaddog
unlurking

The charges:

Charge 1. Treason in the first degree for predicting a poor season for the Chiefs.

Charge 2. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Geathers hit on Trent Green was innocent and non-fineworthy.

Charge 3. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Rolle face mask was not an act of evil visited upon a Chief by an opposing player.

Charge 4. (Remanded to lower court - no longer applicable.)

Charge 5. General mayhem.

Here is the process. In order to grant the defendant the right to a speedy trial, we will employ a shortened nine-step process.

Step 1. The prosecution and defense will make their opening statements. We will hear from the lead prosecutor and defender and any assistant prosecutors or defenders who wish to speak as well.

Step 2. The prosecution will make its case. They may call any witnesses needed and present any evidence. At this time, the jury may ask questions for clarification purposes only. (This is an enlightened courtroom.)

Step 3. The defense will make its case, and may cross-examine any prosecution witnesses. At this time, the jury may ask questions for clarification purposes only.

Step 4. The prosecution may make a rebuttal, and may cross-examine any defense witnesses. At this time, the jury may ask questions for clarification purposes only.

Step 5. The prosecution will make their closing statement.

Step 6. The defense will make their closing statement.

Step 7. Jury deliberations.

Step 8. The reading of the verdict.

Step 9. If the defendant is guilty of any charges, the court will provide the sentencing.

The trial begins now, with opening statements by legal counsel.

(Banging gavel)

**Easy 6** · 11-01-2006, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR

A word from an assisting defense attorney:

When I was five years old I went to go see Mt. Rushmore with my family. It was never much to me since my parents wouldn't let me take pictures or anything. Whenever I saw pictures of that vacation, I could never appreciate them for what they were... not MY pictures. For once I wanted a part in the historiography of our family's time together, especially on vacation. I worked enough jobs around the house for my dad to earn some money, and really enough to buy a camera and some film, but they my parents would never allow it because my grandparents always gave us cameras on our 10th birthday and I didn't want to go ahead and buy something that would be immediately taken away from me. So I was bitter. Very bitter. Especially when I was supposed to be enjoying family vacations and other happy moments. When I was eight years old, two years away from that magic age, I went swimming in a pool and was sitting on top one of those giant floating crocodiles that you can put like, 4 or 5 people on. I was laughing and having a good time until I wanted to get off. I stood up and jumped off, in the process flipping the entire crocodile with everyone on it. It rolled over and hit me on the head as I was coming out of the water. I was dazed for several seconds until I realized I couldn't breathe, and the pain in my head was immense. I tried swimming a quick two feet, but I had actually turned myself around and was swimming underwater the long ways against the crocodile. I kept going and going thinking this was still the short way but it wasn't. I was starting to panic. I tried swimming up and pushing the crocodile out of the water, but it was made out of this hard material. It was too heavy for me. Also going through my head while struggling to get out from under the crocodile was why it had been around 20 seconds and no one had bothered to notice that I still hadn't come up out of the water. Everyone had moved off and was doing their own thing, no doubt still pissed that I had knocked them off the crocodile. I couldn't believe their lack of sympathy for my own life. They weren't concerned that I hadn't yet found a way to swim under the crocodile and breathe, a simple task in itself, but yet it still was not accomplished. I imagined even if I found myself swimming up from under it, they would chew me out for what? Having done nothing wrong? No, because I ruined peoples' fun. This drew me back to getting a camera. I really, really, really wanted a camera at age 5 at that specific moment in the vacation and I was denied. I was sick of being a little kid. For that moment on, I decided I was going to quit letting people push me around. I grabbed the tail of the crocodile and with all my strength I shoved it aside, knocking more people off and I finally arose from under the water. Nobody even seemed to notice that I was a dick, or was trying to act like one. I felt so ignored. If only I had had a camera, I wouldn't feel like this at age 8, so young, and so impressionable. This would affect my personality and being for the rest of my life. I transformed into a bright, happy kid into an assholish, cynical prick. I began to see that if I could do something to maybe ruin peoples lives... like get criminals out of bad deeds they had committed, I could satisfy my need to crush other peoples' hopes all because I couldn't escape from that crocodile's underside. Needless to say, I did not go to law school at all. It bored me. I became a musician. But I always had my sights set on it. Well, now it is my time to achieve my love of hurting people by being a dickheaded defense attourney. That is why I am here, after all. Because of a camera and a crocodile. On the bright side, though, I now have my own camera. In fact, I own several. They're alright. Photography isn't a strong suit of mine but I enjoy capturing special moments... sunsets and scenery and stuff like that. Good views, know what I'm saying? And I have yet to see another one of those ****ing crocodiles.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your time. Mecca is not guilty. God bless.

DAAAYYUUMMM, thats a heartbreaker bro'...so how many people are buried under your house??? If none then i commend you.

**Rain Man** · 11-01-2006, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bugeater

Don't forget he also left us all in Singapore in the offseason odyssey.

I was hoping people had forgotten about that.

Hammock Parties · 11-01-2006, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I was hoping people had forgotten about that.

Yeah, that was total BS. Next offseason we're touring the solar system, Singapore be damned!

**Rain Man** · 11-01-2006, 07:24 PM

The court thanks Mr. SNR, Esq., for his opening statement. Again, the jury will note that a note pad and paper have been provided for your convenience, along with a package of PEZ (candy only, no dispenser).

**Donger** · 11-01-2006, 07:32 PM

WTF? I had a meticulous and devasting opening statement planned and ready to paste.

It was incontravertable.

Hammock Parties · 11-01-2006, 07:33 PM

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury:

We, the prosecution, submit that Mecca is really stupid. As evidence, we present exhibit A:

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/searc...earchid=136662

The prosecution calls MERRIL HOGE to the stand.

**DaFace** · 11-01-2006, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

The court thanks Mr. SNR, Esq., for his opening statement. Again, the jury will note that a note pad and paper have been provided for your convenience, along with a package of PEZ (candy only, no dispenser).

What good is PEZ with no dispenser? It's not like the candy tastes good by itself. It's almost as bad as candy corn.

**Rain Man** · 11-01-2006, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donger

WTF? I had a meticulous and devasting opening statement planned and ready to paste.

It was incontravertable.

The court awaits your opening statement. All lead and assistant attorneys are invited to make opening statements. Keep in mind, though, that we do have certain minimum standards.

milkman · 11-01-2006, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donger

WTF? I had a meticulous and devasting opening statement planned and ready to paste.

It was incontravertable.

Incontrovertable?

11-01-2006, 07:39 PM

I, Merril Hoge, swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.

Hammock Parties · 11-01-2006, 07:40 PM

Mister Hoge, what is your profession?

11-01-2006, 07:40 PM

I'm an expert ESPN NFL Studio Analyst.

**Dartgod** · 11-01-2006, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merril Hoge

I'm an expert ESPN NFL Studio Analyst.

LIAR!

Hammock Parties · 11-01-2006, 07:41 PM

I see. As part of your profession, what level of knowledge concerning the national football league are you required to possess?

Hammock Parties · 11-01-2006, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartgod

LIAR!

YOUR HONOR! The court is badgering my witness!

11-01-2006, 04:49 PM
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-552449 VARSITY	Hear ye, hear ye! The great treason trial has begun! The Defendant: Mecca The Judicial Team Presiding Judge: Rain Man Chief Legal Clerk: trndobrd Assistant Legal Clerk: banyon Chief Bailiff: frazod Assistant Bailiff: slag02 Court reporter and commentator: Greg63 Court reporter and commentator: SPChief Courtroom artist: stevieray Prosecution Team: Donger - Lead Prosecutor Hootie - Assistant Prosecutor GoChiefs - Prosecuting Paralegal Defense Team: Redrum_69 - Lead Defender JBucc, Logical, SNR, JohnnyV13 - Dream Team Legal Defense Team The jury: Adept Havelock JimNasium Delano scott free On the Warpath58 PastorMikH Chieficus AZChiefFan NJChieffan Metrolike mmaddog unlurking The charges: Charge 1. Treason in the first degree for predicting a poor season for the Chiefs. Charge 2. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Geathers hit on Trent Green was innocent and non-fineworthy. Charge 3. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Rolle face mask was not an act of evil visited upon a Chief by an opposing player. Charge 4. (Remanded to lower court - no longer applicable.) Charge 5. General mayhem. Here is the process. In order to grant the defendant the right to a speedy trial, we will employ a shortened nine-step process. Step 1. The prosecution and defense will make their opening statements. We will hear from the lead prosecutor and defender and any assistant prosecutors or defenders who wish to speak as well. Step 2. The prosecution will make its case. They may call any witnesses needed and present any evidence. At this time, the jury may ask questions for clarification purposes only. (This is an enlightened courtroom.) Step 3. The defense will make its case, and may cross-examine any prosecution witnesses. At this time, the jury may ask questions for clarification purposes only. Step 4. The prosecution may make a rebuttal, and may cross-examine any defense witnesses. At this time, the jury may ask questions for clarification purposes only. Step 5. The prosecution will make their closing statement. Step 6. The defense will make their closing statement. Step 7. Jury deliberations. Step 8. The reading of the verdict. Step 9. If the defendant is guilty of any charges, the court will provide the sentencing. The trial begins now, with opening statements by legal counsel. (Banging gavel)
Posts: 145,353

11-01-2006, 07:24 PM	#34
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-552449 VARSITY	The court thanks Mr. SNR, Esq., for his opening statement. Again, the jury will note that a note pad and paper have been provided for your convenience, along with a package of PEZ (candy only, no dispenser). __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,353

11-01-2006, 07:32 PM	#35
Donger "Think BOOM!" Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: 33.675° N 106.475° W Casino cash: $6849900 VARSITY	WTF? I had a meticulous and devasting opening statement planned and ready to paste. It was incontravertable. __________________ I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down," verbally, don't you?
Posts: 191,037

11-01-2006, 07:33 PM	#36
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $930478	Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury: We, the prosecution, submit that Mecca is really stupid. As evidence, we present exhibit A: http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/searc...earchid=136662 The prosecution calls MERRIL HOGE to the stand. __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 296,992

11-01-2006, 07:39 PM	#40
Merril Hoge Guest Casino cash: $	I, Merril Hoge, swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.
Posts: n/a

11-01-2006, 07:40 PM	#41
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $930478	Mister Hoge, what is your profession? __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 296,992

11-01-2006, 07:41 PM	#44
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $930478	I see. As part of your profession, what level of knowledge concerning the national football league are you required to possess? __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 296,992