I had a dream the other night...

[Rain Man]

...and it was a bit different than my typical dreams, which typically involve ... well, we won't go there just yet.

I dreamed that I was at a big celebrity football camp. I was playing defense, somewhere up close to the line, and there was a big pileup. The ball popped loose and landed right next to me, but I was flat on my back and it landed right off my left shoulder, so close that I couldn't shift my arms to grab it. All of a sudden, Jack Lambert comes flying over me from where he got hit (he was playing offense), and lands next to me and scoops up the ball. This is old, current-day Jack Lambert, not in-his-prime-snarling Jack Lambert.

Anyway, Lambert's on his back and scoops up the ball and starts to pull it in. Seeing my opportunity, I hook my arm into Lambert's, and yank the ball violently out of his arm and pull it in myself. However, it's clearly about a second too late, and Lambert had possession at the whistle. I vaguely feel a little unsportsmanlike for yanking the ball out of his hands like that.

That's the last play of the game/half, and we break for lunch. There's a cafeteria-style setup that's enormous, with a cafeteria line that's a big arc for a couple of hundred feet, and tables all neatly arranged in a radius around the arc. I get my food and wander over to a random table, and of course, as luck would have it, it's Jack Lambert's table. He's there with a bunch of his family and friends.

I start to sit down, and Lambert gives me a dirty look and says something rather negative. I ask if it's okay to sit with him, and he says, "You know, you really hurt my arm." He points to the arm that I jerked the ball from, and I once again realize that he's an old guy now, and he's not particularly scary looking. I feel bad again about the incident, because I really did pull the ball out after the whistle, but it was just adrenaline and I was a little frustrated that the ball had initially landed right where I couldn't grab it.

I apologize, and he tells me to go get him a jello dessert. I go back to the counter and get him his jello dessert and bring it back to him. He and his family/friends are all giving me dirty looks, and I sit down to my lunch. Lambert then says something else negative to me, implying that I'm a dirty player, and I'm not sure how to respond. Then I wake up.

This dream is weird because I never dream about football and I never dream about Jack Lambert, or for that matter any member of the Steel Curtain. This dream is also odd because I actually took the ball away from Jack Lambert, and I'm typically not that aggressive, unsportsmanlke, and athletic in my dreams.

What does this mean? And no, it doesn't mean I'm gay.