Spinoff: Risks of shitting where you eat: Fact or Fiction?

[Lex Luthor]

My pet peeve is that I'm not allowed to shit where I eat.

I know, people may think it's gross and disgusting, but the fact is that I personally don't think a legit study has been done to prove a statistically significant health risk to shitting where I eat. That doesn't mean that risks don't exist.. that means that there is no hard science backing up the idea.

Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY shits every single day. Why the hell should I have to pick up my fat ass and go into a freaking bathroom to do what everybody does every single day? It would be much more convenient for me if I could just stay at the table in a bar or a restaurant and take my shit right there.

If you think shitting where I eat is unhealthy, you are welcome to your opinion. Now, because you believe that.. does it A) make it a scientific fact that it is a health risk and B) give a valid justification for curtailing a property owner's right to chose a shitting or non-shitting environment for his business?

Clearly no. Just because something is gross doesn't make it harmful nor should it be a legal justification.

I know, if I shit where I eat, that means I'm also shitting where you eat. But hey you Nazi mother****ers, nobody is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to patronize establishments that allow people to shit where they eat. If you don't like it, go somewhere else.

If I owned a bar in a town that allowed shitting where you eat, I'd probably designate an eating/shitting area and install a completely separate air filtration system. If done properly (although at a pretty hefty expense) you can almost entirely eliminate even the odor of shit if you know what you are doing. Or I'd just restrict shitting where you eat to an outdoor patio... but those choices should be mine to make.

I know, I know, it's ridiculous to compare smoking bans to bans on shitting where you eat. Secondhand smoke is disgusting, and it causes increases in heart disease, lung cancer, and asthma attacks. Shitting where you eat is just disgusting.