Married members: Did you seek permission/blessing?

[saphojunkie]

Originally Posted by Literature

I'm not going to do it. I know the tradition stems more out of respect towards the family than its original purpose (prevent the legal claim of seduction against the proposer), but I think it's the woman's choice.

Of course it's the woman's choice. You're not being progressive, just kind of douchy. If it's really the woman's choice to you, then why are you going to ask? If she wants to get married, she can bloody well ask you.

The truth is, you are sticking with SOME tradition - as in, you're the one asking. You get a ring, too? You think a woman is a raccoon and needs a shiny object to keep her distracted while you circle the tree?

If you don't want to ask the parents, fine. But I would sincerely suggest you get off your high horse and at least talk with them about it first.

Just a way to say, "look, I wanted you to know that I have thought about this, and I am not going into this impulsively or without a plan. I hope you will be happy about it."

You're not giving them a say, but you are showing respect. Just remember, you're going to have to see these people for a long time. You will see them infinitely more than your own family, in my experience.