Late night bullshit: Direckshun is a slut bucket.

[RealSNR]

29. Direckshun



Welcome to the LNBS Lounge, where tonight Direckshun is the guest of honor.

These threads usually go one of two ways depending on the topic. If it's a football thread, Direckshun will lay out a detailed and well-considered blueprint or opinion that begins with something reasonable like, "The Chiefs need to get better secondary help" and will devolve into crazy bullshit such as, "Kurt Coleman is going to be the key to a successful playoff run at the playoffs." If it's a non-football topic, he'll project his real life cosplay interests into the discussion parameters. For example, he'll pretend to be a bartender who listens to your problems. Or he'll be the engineer of a magical train that will take you back to any moment in your life that you'd most like to re-live.

Tonight we're not doing either of those things. We're going to skip his stupid folksy-nouveau way of conversing, where you call a random stranger "my brother" or say "swing and a miss" when people say something that doesn't line up.

Tonight we're going to rape Direckshun. He seems like a nice person, but he frustrates us all in so many special and varied ways. I'd like us to share those Direckshun moments with each other, whatever they may be.

Since I'm supposed to be roasting him, I'll go first. Feel free to share as much or as little as you want.

1. Direckshun talks like a ****ing weirdo

Usually shows up as a symptom when involved in a political conversation with a surly opponent. He talks to the guy like he's a character from a Homestar Runner cartoon who is physically in the same room as the person he's talking to. "Pete. Pete. Listen to me. Stop saying words." He's also awful at insults, even just as playful jabs. I think he once said, "SNR eats whale dung." That's weird.

2. Direckshun never fights back

Direckshun is great for this forum in many ways because he generates content and conversation, especially in football matters. He's like a bad-tasting oral laxative when CP is having trouble passing football topics onto the front page. But he's got his share of dumb ideas, and he has plenty of people like Clay who will mercilessly tear into him even when it's not warranted. Milkman calls him a dumbass. How does Direckshun respond? "Hoho, you're probably right. I CAN get carried away with my mocks, can't I? I'll take your advise and shut the **** up next time!" He won't defend his idea politely or even leave a nice little "Blow me."

3. From the tone of his posts, you can tell that he's a stupid hipster

I've never read a Direckshun post where I couldn't smell the PBR stench in the wifi that transmitted it to my computer screen. Every time he writes something, it's got that shitty subtley ironic tone. The dolphin wearing a helmet thread? I actually like that thread. I love comedic false outrage threads. But when Direckshun does it, he somehow makes it... trendy. I could see him and his shitty beard (come on, you just KNOW he ****ing has one) trying to start some Rob Schneider catch phrase around the office or wherever the **** he works. "Because we're the Chiefs." It's even worse now because he's got all of YOU ****ing saying it. Now whenever he posts some awful shitty prediction, as long as it's glass-half-empty, he can say "Because we're the Chiefs" to justify it, and everybody will go along with it.

That's all I got for now. When I think of more, I'll post them and update this OP, because that's something easy and quick that I can do for any person who might enjoy this thread.

[Direckshun]

I just realized I said "here's my question" and then didn't ask a question.

Sorry about that. Adjust accordingly.

[Simply Red]

I wonder if Linkenbach will end up playing more and more - or do you think they'll only bring him in in goal-line situations?

[Simply Red]

Originally Posted by Direckshun

I just realized I said "here's my question" and then didn't ask a question.

Sorry about that. Adjust accordingly.

GE Steve is a nice guy - eDave and all the guys really - we really bond in there.

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by Simply Red

I wonder if Linkenbach will end up playing more and more - or do you think they'll only bring him in in goal-line situations?

Sadly, I think he's jumbo-package only.

If it were up to me, he'd be starting at LG.

[RealSNR]

Originally Posted by Direckshun

That sounds like a genuinely pleasurable time.

Oddly enough, I slept through the game. The previous week worked me pretty hard, so I could ill afford to miss a 5-hour slumber on Sunday afternoon before my schedule picked up again. I was so busy, as you know, I didn't get to see the game until Tuesday morning.

I also come from a huge football family, where oddly none of us have ever played the sport. But we're obsessed with it, so Chiefs games are miniature family reunions most weeks, which is why I'm almost never on CP during games.

I'll be unavailable this MNF for that very reason. However, I'm totally taking you up on that first opportunity I get to watch a game solo.

Here's my question: SNR, Simply Red, several of the guys you mention are all very enjoyable personalities. I would imagine you have many friends, so it's strange to me that you guys catch the games solo. But not that strange.

My wife hates football and I'm the only Chiefs fan in my family. I also live in the middle of Packer country, so my local friends usually don't give a shit when my team is playing. I often get together with them for stuff like the draft and the Super Bowl, but that's about it.

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by SNR

My wife hates football and I'm the only Chiefs fan in my family. I also live in the middle of Packer country, so my local friends usually don't give a shit when my team is playing. I often get together with them for stuff like the draft and the Super Bowl, but that's about it.

Ah, that's right.

My lady hates football too, sadly. Fortunately everybody in my family adores not just the sport, but the Chiefs.

[Discuss Thrower]

Originally Posted by SNR

29. Direckshun



Welcome to the LNBS Lounge, where tonight Direckshun is the guest of honor.

[The Franchise]

One of my Top 10 favorite posters. Way to low for the D man.

[Saccopoo]

Originally Posted by Direckshun

Ah, that's right.

My lady hates football too, sadly. Fortunately everybody in my family adores not just the sport, but the Chiefs.

You've got a girlfriend?

Mind. Blown.

And did you see how he's turned a roast into a happy-go-lucky, pat each other on the back thread?

You ****ing guys are soft bitches.

[Bufkin]

Originally Posted by Saccopoo

You've got a girlfriend?

Mind. Blown.

And did you see how he's turned a roast into a happy-go-lucky, pat each other on the back thread?

You ****ing guys are soft bitches.

The irony of this post could only be described by a man violently choking to death on a lifesaver.

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by Saccopoo

You've got a girlfriend?

Mind. Blown.

And did you see how he's turned a roast into a happy-go-lucky, pat each other on the back thread?

You ****ing guys are soft bitches.

Let's not marry ourselves to strict definitions of what is or isn't a woman.

It's more of a repurposed leather beanbag chair than it is an actual, living breathing woman.

But to me.... it's all woman.

[Saccopoo]

Originally Posted by Bufkin

The irony of this post could only be described by a man violently choking to death on a lifesaver.

Aren't you the guy who said he wasn't going to post on this board again after making what was one of the most ignorant and offensive posts in the history of Chiefs Planet?

And yet, here you are...

Talk about irony.

And hypocrisy.

[beach tribe]

I thought it was his Mom that was the whore.

Seriously, though.

I just see a guy who hasn't lost the last ounce of blind hope, that I can feel quickly fleeting from my grasp, and truly gives a shit about the Chiefs.
Which can't be said for most here with more than a 2 year tenure.
Sadly my blind faith that made football so fun is fading fast, and I'm understanding why you ****ers were all so jaded. BUT I"M CLINGING!!!

Why Shit on his, though?

Why shit on his hope. No matter how silly you think it is.

I can understand correcting him, but why shit on his fun?....or his effort for that matter.

[beach tribe]

Originally Posted by Saccopoo

Aren't you the guy who said he wasn't going to post on this board again after making what was one of the most ignorant and offensive posts in the history of Chiefs Planet?

And yet, here you are...

Talk about irony.

And hypocrisy.

And you just gave him his troll snacks.

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by beach tribe

I thought it was his Mom that was the whore.

Seriously, though.

I just see a guy who hasn't lost the last ounce of blind hope, that I can feel quickly fleeting from my grasp, and truly gives a shit about the Chiefs.
Which can't be said for most here with more than a 2 year tenure.
Sadly my blind faith that made football so fun is fading fast, and I'm understanding why you ****ers were all so jaded. BUT I"M CLINGING!!!

Why Shit on his, though?

Why shit on his hope. No matter how silly you think it is.

I can understand correcting him, but why shit on his fun?....or his effort for that matter.

People take the path of least resistance. It's not malevolent, it's just lazy.