Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

**Donger** · 08-05-2005, 04:37 PM

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news...44/detail.html

Man Could Not Remove Lock For Two Weeks

POSTED: 2:02 pm MDT August 5, 2005
UPDATED: 2:15 pm MDT August 5, 2005

BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a New Hampshire man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.

According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.

The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

"Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald.

The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.

He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.

Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.

RedDread · 08-05-2005, 04:39 PM

Motive??

Um...your honor I had this padlock, and um...this guy was passed out....and uhhh, I thought I could get it to close on his balls.

Nightfyre · 08-05-2005, 04:39 PM

I wonder if it cut off the circulation at all. That would leave him with blueballs.

With friends like that, who needs enemies?

Braincase · 08-05-2005, 04:40 PM

Franks and Beans.

**alpha_omega** · 08-05-2005, 04:40 PM

Paybacks are gonna be hell

**Rain Man** · 08-05-2005, 04:41 PM

Whenever I meet a potential new friend, I make it pretty clear that if I pass out, they are not to bother my testicles. So far, everyone has honored that.

**Donger** · 08-05-2005, 04:44 PM

To me, the funniest part of this is that the guy 'walked' around for two weeks with a padlock around his nuts. What, was he hoping that they'd loosen up or something?

Also, any bets that the 'friend' was a female/girlfriend?

RedDread · 08-05-2005, 04:44 PM

If someone did this to me, I would seriously jerk off in his beverage of choice.

RedDread · 08-05-2005, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

Before or after removal of the padlock?

due to the fact that balls typically retract a bit before the deed, that would be a definite after.

also I don't know how well you'd be able jingle your jimmy with a lock on there. The consequences would be disasterous!

perhaps I've said too much

ZootedGranny · 08-05-2005, 07:59 PM

Padlock on the balls, eh? Is that what they call marriage nowadays?

Zebedee DuBois · 08-05-2005, 08:01 PM

I know the padlock would be bad... but that hacksaw down there...Whew...

DenverChief · 08-05-2005, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zebedee DuBois

I know the padlock would be bad... but that hacksaw down there...Whew...

WE GOT A BLEEDER!!

KCChiefsMan · 08-05-2005, 09:30 PM

wow, what a friend. I wouldn't know what to think about that.....His "friend" had to touch his balls to get the padlock on, meaning his friend wanted to feel up his balls, or he just wanted to do an evil joke. Either way, I'd kick the $hit out of him

Crush · 08-05-2005, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DenverChief

WE GOT A BLEEDER!!

08-05-2005, 04:37 PM
Donger "Think BOOM!" Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: 33.675° N 106.475° W Casino cash: $6879900 VARSITY	Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news...44/detail.html Man Could Not Remove Lock For Two Weeks POSTED: 2:02 pm MDT August 5, 2005 UPDATED: 2:15 pm MDT August 5, 2005 BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a New Hampshire man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles. According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks. The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone. "Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald. The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock. He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury. Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.
Posts: 190,975

08-05-2005, 04:39 PM	#2
RedDread Veteran Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Back in KC Casino cash: $10007771	Motive?? Um...your honor I had this padlock, and um...this guy was passed out....and uhhh, I thought I could get it to close on his balls. __________________
Posts: 4,167

08-05-2005, 04:39 PM	#3
Nightfyre MVP Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Helena, MT Casino cash: $1348849	I wonder if it cut off the circulation at all. That would leave him with blueballs. With friends like that, who needs enemies?
Posts: 18,647

08-05-2005, 04:40 PM	#4
Braincase Banned Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Pond> Me <Barn Casino cash: $11298284	Franks and Beans. __________________ BrainCase
Posts: 15,429

08-05-2005, 04:40 PM	#5
alpha_omega Supporter Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Liberty Casino cash: $-1630000	Paybacks are gonna be hell
Posts: 17,328

08-05-2005, 04:41 PM	#6
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-522449 VARSITY	Whenever I meet a potential new friend, I make it pretty clear that if I pass out, they are not to bother my testicles. So far, everyone has honored that. __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,324

08-05-2005, 04:44 PM	#7
Donger "Think BOOM!" Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: 33.675° N 106.475° W Casino cash: $6879900 VARSITY	To me, the funniest part of this is that the guy 'walked' around for two weeks with a padlock around his nuts. What, was he hoping that they'd loosen up or something? Also, any bets that the 'friend' was a female/girlfriend? __________________ I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down," verbally, don't you?
Posts: 190,975

08-05-2005, 07:59 PM	#10
ZootedGranny Chump Steamroller Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: . Casino cash: $10015042	Padlock on the balls, eh? Is that what they call marriage nowadays?
Posts: 3,974

08-05-2005, 08:01 PM	#11
Zebedee DuBois Veteran Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: floating in a tin can Casino cash: $-1704801	I know the padlock would be bad... but that hacksaw down there...Whew... __________________ What am I even doing here?
Posts: 3,932

08-05-2005, 09:30 PM	#13
KCChiefsMan AIC Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: West Roxbury, MA Casino cash: $10004900	wow, what a friend. I wouldn't know what to think about that.....His "friend" had to touch his balls to get the padlock on, meaning his friend wanted to feel up his balls, or he just wanted to do an evil joke. Either way, I'd kick the $hit out of him
Posts: 11,478

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