Why do I do it to myself?

[Katipan]

Originally Posted by ChiTown

Buttered Popcorn? All this time, I thought my wife was up late watching movies once a month. Huh...............

You'll have to tell us if it tastes the same.

[ChiTown]

Originally Posted by Katipan

You'll have to tell us if it tastes the same.

I earned my red wings as a young man. Unlike Hootie, I don't feel the need to poke a needle in my left eye, just to see if it hurts worse than the one in my right eye.

[Katipan]

Originally Posted by ChiTown

I earned my red wings as a young man. Unlike Hootie, I don't feel the need to poke a needle in my left eye, just to see if it hurts worse than the one in my right eye.

I'd have to really hate a dude to let him eat me while I was bleeding. Or he'd have to be Hootie.

[ChiTown]

Originally Posted by Katipan

I'd have to really hate a dude to let him eat me while I was bleeding. Or he'd have to be Hootie.

Yeah, well, when you are young, stupid and drunk, everything sounds like a good idea.

/Hootie

[Hootie]

Originally Posted by Katipan

I'd have to really hate a dude to let him eat me while I was bleeding. Or he'd have to be Hootie.

Period blood doesn't phase me.

One time at my party apartment when I was 20 I had this "friend" who was a total slut...her gross tampon definitely had a resting spot on my floor for over a month. I didn't want to touch it, and no one else did either. So it just stayed there.

Of course my first apartment one of my friends drank a whole bunch of everclear...he was passed out in my bed when I was trying to get my groove on with my girlfriend...only he kept violently puking off the side of my bed.

Or the one time I woke up at 5 AM to my roommate sleep-pissing in the corner of my room like it was a toilet...that was fun.

[Gonzo]

Originally Posted by Hootie

Period blood doesn't phase me.

One time at my party apartment when I was 20 I had this "friend" who was a total slut...her gross tampon definitely had a resting spot on my floor for over a month. I didn't want to touch it, and no one else did either. So it just stayed there.

Of course my first apartment one of my friends drank a whole bunch of everclear...he was passed out in my bed when I was trying to get my groove on with my girlfriend...only he kept violently puking off the side of my bed.

Or the one time I woke up at 5 AM to my roommate sleep-pissing in the corner of my room like it was a toilet...that was fun.

JFC

[Hootie]

Originally Posted by ChiTown

I earned my red wings as a young man. Unlike Hootie, I don't feel the need to poke a needle in my left eye, just to see if it hurts worse than the one in my right eye.

You want to hear something really disturbing?

When I was in high school, I used to drink a LOT of pop. Like, 12 a day...I'm not kidding. I used to play basketball and baseball, so I could eat/drink/do whatever I wanted and it never really mattered...either way, I'd spend a lot of time on the computer or playing video games or doing both because I had the luxury of having all of that shit in my room.

Anyways, being the lazy mother ****er I am, I used to pee in empty mountain dew bottles because I didn't feel like walking across the hall and using the toilet.

Also, I used to have a lot of sex with my ex in my room with my girlfriend at the time...even though I knew my mom knew and didn't care, it was still something that I didn't want to broadcast to her...so for the week or so we used condoms I'd just kind of store them in this cupboard along with these pee bottles...one time when we were in the act she started her period (gross) and I had to wipe it up with a rag.

So the contents of this mystery cupboard were about 5 gross, used condoms...20 20 oz. bottles of urine, a bloody rag, and a few empty bottles of booze.

So one day I take a piss in one of these bottles, take it to my storage lair, and sure enough...SPOTLESS! That's right, mother did a little spring cleaning when I was away for the day.

Never said a word to me about it...I knew she wouldn't, but I can only imagine what was going through her head when she opened up that cupboard.

Of course she also found and washed my jerk off rag when I was in 8th grade so...

[chasedude]

Originally Posted by Hootie

You want to hear something really disturbing?

When I was in high school, I used to drink a LOT of pop. Like, 12 a day...I'm not kidding. I used to play basketball and baseball, so I could eat/drink/do whatever I wanted and it never really mattered...either way, I'd spend a lot of time on the computer or playing video games or doing both because I had the luxury of having all of that shit in my room.

Anyways, being the lazy mother ****er I am, I used to pee in empty mountain dew bottles because I didn't feel like walking across the hall and using the toilet.

Also, I used to have a lot of sex with my ex in my room with my girlfriend at the time...even though I knew my mom knew and didn't care, it was still something that I didn't want to broadcast to her...so for the week or so we used condoms I'd just kind of store them in this cupboard along with these pee bottles...one time when we were in the act she started her period (gross) and I had to wipe it up with a rag.

So the contents of this mystery cupboard were about 5 gross, used condoms...20 20 oz. bottles of urine, a bloody rag, and a few empty bottles of booze.

So one day I take a piss in one of these bottles, take it to my storage lair, and sure enough...SPOTLESS! That's right, mother did a little spring cleaning when I was away for the day.

Never said a word to me about it...I knew she wouldn't, but I can only imagine what was going through her head when she opened up that cupboard.

Of course she also found and washed my jerk off rag when I was in 8th grade so...

That's just plain sick!!! I've done some crazy shit when I was younger but nothing takes this.

[Hootie]

Originally Posted by chasedude

That's just plain sick!!! I've done some crazy shit when I was younger but nothing takes this.

[Gonzo]

Originally Posted by Hootie

You want to hear something really disturbing?

When I was in high school, I used to drink a LOT of pop. Like, 12 a day...I'm not kidding. I used to play basketball and baseball, so I could eat/drink/do whatever I wanted and it never really mattered...either way, I'd spend a lot of time on the computer or playing video games or doing both because I had the luxury of having all of that shit in my room.

Anyways, being the lazy mother ****er I am, I used to pee in empty mountain dew bottles because I didn't feel like walking across the hall and using the toilet.

Also, I used to have a lot of sex with my ex in my room with my girlfriend at the time...even though I knew my mom knew and didn't care, it was still something that I didn't want to broadcast to her...so for the week or so we used condoms I'd just kind of store them in this cupboard along with these pee bottles...one time when we were in the act she started her period (gross) and I had to wipe it up with a rag.

So the contents of this mystery cupboard were about 5 gross, used condoms...20 20 oz. bottles of urine, a bloody rag, and a few empty bottles of booze.

So one day I take a piss in one of these bottles, take it to my storage lair, and sure enough...SPOTLESS! That's right, mother did a little spring cleaning when I was away for the day.

Never said a word to me about it...I knew she wouldn't, but I can only imagine what was going through her head when she opened up that cupboard.

Of course she also found and washed my jerk off rag when I was in 8th grade so...

I was letting this whole thing go....

I said to myself, "Self, don't get involved in this one."

However, this is by far one of the more vile threads ever started.

Hottie, please don't feel as though you have to share everything.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Hootie

Anyways, being the lazy mother ****er I am, I used to pee in empty mountain dew bottles because I didn't feel like walking across the hall and using the toilet.

This seals it. Hootie is my favorite planeteer. Sorry Flopnuts, Delano, Phobia, htimsaqe, Simply Red, and the rest of you. Hootie is an epic Chiefsplanet legend. He will NEVER be replaced. He has the BEST stories EVER.

I once pissed in a large glass because I just wanted to try it. It looked like pale beer. It even had a foamy head.

[Nzoner]

Originally Posted by Katipan

You'll have to tell us if it tastes the same.

I just happened to be taking a drink of hot tea when I read that and it sure as hell didn't taste the same.