Suicide?

[Brianfo]

Have you ever contemplated suicide? I have, I think about it everyday. I think my kids and wife would be better off without me. My wife is an absolute angel. She did not deserve to be stuck with me. I know that it's the right thing to do. But it's cowardly. I know for a fact that I am going to hell. I love my kids and wife so much, but I have not been a good father.

[Abba-Dabba]

Originally Posted by Phobia

We've had people vent a lot. Don't think they post "I'm considering offing myself and I know it's the right thing to do..." and then disappear. That's what sealed it for me. If you wanna stick around and talk it out, we're all about that. But don't post "I'm gonna kill myself" and then nothing.

I think there are a lot of genuinely decent people out on this site who care about one another. I hope Brian takes it as "we care" rather than, "why the hell did you guys track me down?"

I didn't see specifically where he said he was considering it. I thought I read that he thought about it often. We all have had thoughts, daily thoughts about things that we would never consider doing.

[FAX]

Originally Posted by Phobia

I was kinda surprised how easy it was to find him off a 10 year old email address in which the domain name was dead though. Usually I have to dig pretty hard.

You did well, grasshopper.

FAX

Originally Posted by RubberSponge

I didn't see specifically where he said he was considering it. I thought I read that he thought about it often. We all have had thoughts, daily thoughts about things that we would never consider doing.

I'm not a psychiatrist but the phrasing and structure were a lot more ominous for me than they were for you. Combine that with his immediate departure and I was genuinely worried.

[FAX]

Originally Posted by RubberSponge

I didn't see specifically where he said he was considering it. I thought I read that he thought about it often. We all have had thoughts, daily thoughts about things that we would never consider doing.

That's the problem, though. He talks about it, then bails on the board.

You don't really know what he's thinking or doing. All you know is that he's in a dark place and thinking about it.

My concern was heightened when I looked up some old threads of his and found the one where he talks about his long-term battle with alcoholism. As I'm sure you are aware, there's a link between alcohol and drug abuse and suicide.

Regardless, the right thing was done under the circumstances and even if he was just ruminating, this might lead him to start dealing with some of his problem(s) ... which he obviously has.

FAX

[Lumpy]

Originally Posted by Phobia

I was kinda surprised how easy it was to find him off a 10 year old email address in which the domain name was dead though. Usually I have to dig pretty hard.

You're right, it's really not that difficult. Yet, you didn't confirm the phone number I sent to you was the same one you found. I had a 90% match on current info based on that email. But if your number matched mine, that would pretty much close the 10% gap.

Either way, well done Phobia!

[Abba-Dabba]

I just don't know about giving kudos and claiming a personal victory for someone calling if the person gets the help they need. And then saying on the other other side of the mouth if any thing bad comes from it, it is all his fault.

[FAX]

Originally Posted by RubberSponge

I just don't know about giving kudos and claiming a personal victory for someone calling if the person gets the help they need. And then saying on the other other side of the mouth if any thing bad comes from it, it is all his fault.

Who said that?

FAX

[NJChiefsFan]

Originally Posted by Phobia

I'm not a psychiatrist but the phrasing and structure were a lot more ominous for me than they were for you. Combine that with his immediate departure and I was genuinely worried.

I think you did the right thing. Its a whole lot easier to live with thinking "maybe I did too much" than "maybe I didn't do enough."

[Abba-Dabba]

Originally Posted by Phobia

I'm not a psychiatrist but the phrasing and structure were a lot more ominous for me than they were for you. Combine that with his immediate departure and I was genuinely worried.

Maybe that was all he needed to vent. Maybe he really is considering it. Too little information to make a determination for me.

[Abba-Dabba]

Originally Posted by FAX

That's the problem, though. He talks about it, then bails on the board.

You don't really know what he's thinking or doing. All you know is that he's in a dark place and thinking about it.

My concern was heightened when I looked up some old threads of his and found the one where he talks about his long-term battle with alcoholism. As I'm sure you are aware, there's a link between alcohol and drug abuse and suicide.

Regardless, the right thing was done under the circumstances and even if he was just ruminating, this might lead him to start dealing with some of his problem(s) ... which he obviously has.

FAX

I hope he gets the help he wants and is able to overcome his issues. But it will be solely up to him to accomplish that. Not a phone call.

Originally Posted by RubberSponge

I just don't know about giving kudos and claiming a personal victory for someone calling if the person gets the help they need. And then saying on the other other side of the mouth if any thing bad comes from it, it is all his fault.

I don't care about kudos over this thing. I think when you're faced with tough decisions, you just make the safe choice. If I had waited until morning to call and something awful happened over night I wouldn't want to live with that.

[NJChiefsFan]

Originally Posted by RubberSponge

I hope he gets the help he wants and is able to overcome his issues. But it will be solely up to him to accomplish that. Not a phone call.

Was anybody really making the phone call sound that epic? We were just telling him we thought it was the right thing to do when there were a couple of posts wondering if somebody should call or not.

[Abba-Dabba]

Originally Posted by FAX

Who said that?

FAX

Originally Posted by Otter

If you have a house full of drugs I'd air on the side of caution to drawing attention to yourself. His fault.

I'm just speaking in general terms since not much is factually known.

[Abba-Dabba]

Originally Posted by Phobia

I don't care about kudos over this thing. I think when you're faced with tough decisions, you just make the safe choice. If I had waited until morning to call and something awful happened over night I wouldn't want to live with that.

Didn't say you cared about getting kudos. I said I don't know about giving kudos.

Originally Posted by RubberSponge

Maybe that was all he needed to vent. Maybe he really is considering it. Too little information to make a determination for me.

If you say, "I think about killing myself all the time" and "It's the right thing to do" it went a little beyond venting for me. I'm going to reach out personally.

Had an acquaintance post on facebook a few nights ago that his life was over because his baby momma took his kid away from him. He said he was gonna go out with a bang and "look for me on the news". I called his ass up at 1:00 AM. Told him that if he was serious then I would help him find some professional help but if he was just venting that he needed to delete that crap from facebook because all it proved was that the judge made the right decision.

These situations are tough but I'm not going to spectate if somebody needs help. That's definitely not the right thing.