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04-01-2013, 12:16 AM | #256 |
legend
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then every bar owner in America would be constantly trying to figure out ways to "spice" up their dwarf checking ID's. We'd end up as a society having to watch fifteen minutes of naked dwarf on mechanical bull action before getting your id checked.
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04-01-2013, 09:45 PM | #257 |
Banned
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05-30-2013, 11:32 PM | #258 |
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On my walk home, I ended up behind some walking woman. Despite the fact that I was 30 or 40 feet behind her, she kept glancing nervously over her shoulder at me, and then at a corner abruptly changed direction.
Okay, first off, lady, if I was going to rape someone, it would be someone with a better figure than you. No offense. And second, could you not tell that I was wearing my Pro Football Hall of Fame t-shirt? I'm not going to rape someone in that t-shirt. It's one of my favorite t-shirts and if your ripped it during your terrified struggle underneath me or if it got mace stains, it'd be really hard to replace.
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05-31-2013, 09:53 PM | #259 |
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Rain Man the Rapist.
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06-01-2013, 07:34 AM | #260 |
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It's probably the do-rag and affliction t-shirts he wears.
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06-01-2013, 09:56 AM | #261 |
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06-01-2013, 12:53 PM | #262 |
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The eternally vexing question.
Always Sunny's - philanthropist --> full on rapist or Arrested Development's - analyst + therapist --> analrapist?
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06-01-2013, 01:08 PM | #263 | |
Shit
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Quote:
Planned on doing some raping today... Great minds. Posted via Mobile Device |
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07-26-2013, 07:28 PM | #264 |
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So I was at the liquor store tonight and the guy in front of me had a Louie Vitton bag with a monogram RIP. I thought it might be fake. He bought some box wine and Cook's champagne. His bill came to around $45. He pulled some bills off a money clip but it wasn't enough to cover the bill. Also clipped in the money clip was a stack of small white envelops with RIP written in pencil on the outside. He opened one and it contained a couple of $5s. He handed them to the clerk and asked how much that added up to. $35 Still not enough. He opened another one, and it had a $20. He handed it the clerk, who gave him back two $10s. Finally the two of them figured out that the clerk needed to keep one of the $10s.
Out in the parking lot RIP got into a late model Mercedes Benz. He still had at least 3 of those little envelopes that he hadn't opened yet. |
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07-26-2013, 07:57 PM | #265 |
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what the hell was the RIP stuff about; and the envelopes?
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07-26-2013, 08:49 PM | #266 |
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RIP was his initials, I presume.
The envelopes were really weird. I thought it might be a mechanism for him to budget his money, and imagined that he was raiding next week's grocery money to pay for his wine fix. The Mercedes Benz kind of blew that theory. I'm sure if I could have observed him for another 30 minutes I'd have 10 more oddities to report. |
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07-26-2013, 09:11 PM | #267 | |
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Quote:
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07-26-2013, 09:13 PM | #268 |
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"I can't believe you can get a box of 500 paper wallets for $2.99"!
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07-26-2013, 09:20 PM | #269 |
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What the hell is a man doing with a Louis Vuitton bag? We talking about a briefcase or some kind of murse?
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07-26-2013, 09:29 PM | #270 |
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