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Old 12-20-2011, 01:27 PM   #1
Bearcat Bearcat is offline
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Congrats to you for making it through, reaching out and receiving help. As I read your words, it's obvious from the point of view of someone who's contemplated suicide as a logical escape from your pain. To those going through those thoughts, I'm sure you don't consider it as cowardly or selfish. I understand that completely. Those going through it may think it is courageous or takes bravery. But, you can't think of it JUST in those terms. There are victims of suicide...and, I'm not talking about the person putting the gun in the mouth or taking the handful of pills. I'm talking about the family VICTIMS. When a person hurts, and has decided to become 'brave' enough to complete the act, they don't think about anything else. They don't think about the victims they're leaving behind. They merely think that they're in pain, and this is the way for them to escape THEIR pain. But, they selfishly don't consider the transferrance of pain to their wife or husband, parents, or children. Pain doesn't go away, it's just transferred to someone else to deal with. My family is a victim of suicide, it changed my wife forever. Our oldest kids hurt from it...perhaps even would now be more likely to see it as an option when they hurt.

Sorry, there is more than one person effected by suicide. Might take them courage to complete. But, passing their pain to others is cowardly and selfish. If more people would consider how their daughter will be effected, what will it do to Mom, what will my friends think? Maybe that pause would be enough to stop it from happening and having them reach out for help.
I don't think that's necessarily true... Brianfo was clearly thinking about his wife and kids when he created the thread. I understand why people think it's a selfish act, but for the most part, I really don't think it's a decision that's made lightly... it might be sudden for loved ones, which I think would lead to thoughts about how it was selfish, etc; but I'm willing to bet it's anything but sudden for the person contemplating suicide. Brianfo obviously has people to live for, and he clearly knows that, or else he might not be reaching out for help at all. Perhaps not trying at all would be selfish, but that would just be speculation on our part.
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Old 12-20-2011, 02:21 PM   #2
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I don't think that's necessarily true... Brianfo was clearly thinking about his wife and kids when he created the thread. I understand why people think it's a selfish act, but for the most part, I really don't think it's a decision that's made lightly... it might be sudden for loved ones, which I think would lead to thoughts about how it was selfish, etc; but I'm willing to bet it's anything but sudden for the person contemplating suicide. Brianfo obviously has people to live for, and he clearly knows that, or else he might not be reaching out for help at all. Perhaps not trying at all would be selfish, but that would just be speculation on our part.
My Father-in-Law had 3 children with families, 9 grandkids, including my youngest which was a tiny baby at the time. He did threaten to do it, 4-5 times first. But, was talked down...never ignored, but talked to. He was told by my wife not to do it, what do you think we'll think, what do you think about the grandkids dealing with it? He didn't care, he was an alcoholic and had lost over 200K gambling in the last couple years. He always put himself first...as alcoholics and addicts do. When he made up his mind, he did it...and that was with everything. And, by gosh, you either dealt with it, or you didn't come around and he didn't give a rip which one it was. Obviously, he was hurting with his addictions, and didn't know any positive way out. But, he certainly didn't give a rip that he passed his pain on to us than he did being an ass when he was alive. It's selfish and it's cowardly, and you leave victims who are scarred for life. My wife will never be anywhere near the same as she used to be. She's fractured, she's angry, she's heart-broken, and if I had the ability, I'd beat him to a pulp for what he's done to us.
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Old 12-20-2011, 11:24 AM   #3
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I tripped on this thread trying glance over the news and can't hang out but what you need to know is that the majority of people deal with moderate to high levels of depression at some point in their life. You are not the exception to the rule. There is a reason for this as well. There is also a process you need to go through now to understand where you are at and it would take me a long time to go over it here but I would be willing to do that should you request it by PM. The most important thing right now is just that you commit yourself to a specific period of time like say a year to do everything you can to address this problem. I have had 5 people I have helped in this area in my lifetime. One would not even attempt the process. He left an aboslutely beautiful wife and son behind. I posted an article on it years ago on the Planet. The other 4 fully embraced the process and 3 of them are happier than most people by a long shot and are not on any meds. The other was off everything and perfect for a year before he became too lazy to stay with it and is back on the drugs. There is hope dude, just commit to a period of time and do everything you can to work through it.
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Old 12-20-2011, 11:55 AM   #4
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Sounds like somebody needs to re-watch It's A Wonderful Life.
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Old 12-20-2011, 12:00 PM   #5
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Sounds like somebody needs to re-watch It's A Wonderful Life.
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Old 12-20-2011, 12:14 PM   #6
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I hope this guy get's help and we all move on because this thread has become too long and too depressing-let's move to a thread with a positive discussion
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Old 12-20-2011, 12:20 PM   #7
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I hope this guy get's help and we all move on because this thread has become too long and too depressing-let's move to a thread with a positive discussion
schnozberry!
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Old 12-20-2011, 12:30 PM   #8
Mr. Plow Mr. Plow is offline
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schnozberry!
That's my safe word - get your own damnit.
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Old 12-20-2011, 12:57 PM   #9
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schnozberry!
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That's my safe word - get your own damnit.
His safe word will be....

Bananafapper
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Old 12-20-2011, 01:10 PM   #10
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His safe word will be....

Bananafapper
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Old 12-20-2011, 01:13 PM   #11
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His safe word will be....

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I'll call him....Hand....banana
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Old 12-20-2011, 12:20 PM   #12
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Hey Brianfo...
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Old 12-20-2011, 12:50 PM   #13
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Well, he checked in on this thread around 12:30. I was hoping he would post something.

Hope all works out for you Brian.
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Old 12-20-2011, 02:12 PM   #14
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Well, he checked in on this thread around 12:30. I was hoping he would post something.

Hope all works out for you Brian.
Well that's good to hear. He may feel too embarassed or ashamed to post. If that's the case there's no need to be... at least maybe privately to someone.
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Old 12-20-2011, 01:06 PM   #15
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seriously?

dude, call me if you need someone to listen.

feeling sometimes like you've let your wife and kids down is normal, and shows you care.
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