Chiefs Late night bullshit: Direckshun is a slut bucket. - Page 4

**RealSNR** · 09-24-2014, 09:30 PM

29. Direckshun

Welcome to the LNBS Lounge, where tonight Direckshun is the guest of honor.

These threads usually go one of two ways depending on the topic. If it's a football thread, Direckshun will lay out a detailed and well-considered blueprint or opinion that begins with something reasonable like, "The Chiefs need to get better secondary help" and will devolve into crazy bullshit such as, "Kurt Coleman is going to be the key to a successful playoff run at the playoffs." If it's a non-football topic, he'll project his real life cosplay interests into the discussion parameters. For example, he'll pretend to be a bartender who listens to your problems. Or he'll be the engineer of a magical train that will take you back to any moment in your life that you'd most like to re-live.

Tonight we're not doing either of those things. We're going to skip his stupid folksy-nouveau way of conversing, where you call a random stranger "my brother" or say "swing and a miss" when people say something that doesn't line up.

Tonight we're going to rape Direckshun. He seems like a nice person, but he frustrates us all in so many special and varied ways. I'd like us to share those Direckshun moments with each other, whatever they may be.

Since I'm supposed to be roasting him, I'll go first. Feel free to share as much or as little as you want.

1. Direckshun talks like a ****ing weirdo

Usually shows up as a symptom when involved in a political conversation with a surly opponent. He talks to the guy like he's a character from a Homestar Runner cartoon who is physically in the same room as the person he's talking to. "Pete. Pete. Listen to me. Stop saying words." He's also awful at insults, even just as playful jabs. I think he once said, "SNR eats whale dung." That's weird.

2. Direckshun never fights back

Direckshun is great for this forum in many ways because he generates content and conversation, especially in football matters. He's like a bad-tasting oral laxative when CP is having trouble passing football topics onto the front page. But he's got his share of dumb ideas, and he has plenty of people like Clay who will mercilessly tear into him even when it's not warranted. Milkman calls him a dumbass. How does Direckshun respond? "Hoho, you're probably right. I CAN get carried away with my mocks, can't I? I'll take your advise and shut the **** up next time!" He won't defend his idea politely or even leave a nice little "Blow me."

3. From the tone of his posts, you can tell that he's a stupid hipster

I've never read a Direckshun post where I couldn't smell the PBR stench in the wifi that transmitted it to my computer screen. Every time he writes something, it's got that shitty subtley ironic tone. The dolphin wearing a helmet thread? I actually like that thread. I love comedic false outrage threads. But when Direckshun does it, he somehow makes it... trendy. I could see him and his shitty beard (come on, you just KNOW he ****ing has one) trying to start some Rob Schneider catch phrase around the office or wherever the **** he works. "Because we're the Chiefs." It's even worse now because he's got all of YOU ****ing saying it. Now whenever he posts some awful shitty prediction, as long as it's glass-half-empty, he can say "Because we're the Chiefs" to justify it, and everybody will go along with it.

That's all I got for now. When I think of more, I'll post them and update this OP, because that's something easy and quick that I can do for any person who might enjoy this thread.

**RealSNR** · 09-25-2014, 07:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saccopoo

You've got a girlfriend?

Mind. Blown.

And did you see how he's turned a roast into a happy-go-lucky, pat each other on the back thread?

You ****ing guys are soft bitches.

I already gave him his roast. Nobody felt like keeping up the energy. So I let it deflate. I'm not going to keep this dick hard if the passion isn't there.

Halfcan · 09-25-2014, 09:24 AM

I see Direckshun as this genius draft guru. He rushes home from work at Best Buy and goes straight to his draft room. It is filled top to bottom with draft boards, college stats he hasn't updated into the Master Book of Records . He has five computers dedicated strictly to college games and is saving for a sixth just to hold his massive collection of stats that he has analyzed, decoded and placed in the Master BRer. Sometimes he gets so involved he falls asleep on his huge pile of college football mags and dreams of the day when his logarithmic functions, equations and programs become the standard used by the NFL. He wakes up happy knowing he is one game film closer everyday.

Sweet Daddy Hate · 09-25-2014, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halfcan

I see Direckshun as this genius draft guru. He rushes home from work at Best Buy and goes straight to his draft room. It is filled top to bottom with draft boards, college stats he hasn't updated into the Master Book of Records . He has five computers dedicated strictly to college games and is saving for a sixth just to hold his massive collection of stats that he has analyzed, decoded and placed in the Master BRer. Sometimes he gets so involved he falls asleep on his huge pile of college football mags and dreams of the day when his logarithmic functions, equations and programs become the standard used by the NFL. He wakes up happy knowing he is one game film closer everyday.

lcarus · 09-25-2014, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR

I already gave him his roast. Nobody felt like keeping up the energy. So I let it deflate. I'm not going to keep this dick hard if the passion isn't there.

My dick is still hard and my passion has never died. Just so you know.

**Easy 6** · 09-25-2014, 09:54 AM

this one was truly excellent, you nailed his persona.

Good stuff.

**Easy 6** · 09-25-2014, 10:00 AM

Honest question, can someone tell me what the biggest difference between chat and game thread is?

rico · 09-25-2014, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Easy 6

Honest question, can someone tell me what the biggest difference between chat and game thread is?

I'm guessing that it's probably more convenient to use for quick posts/replies. People are probably a bit more congenial in there as well (compared to their public personas). Just guessing...I've never been in the chat room.

**loochy** · 09-25-2014, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Easy 6

Honest question, can someone tell me what the biggest difference between chat and game thread is?

well the chat is a chat room

the game thread is a thread

i mean...

**RealSNR** · 09-25-2014, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Easy 6

Honest question, can someone tell me what the biggest difference between chat and game thread is?

It's a chat room. We have conversations about the game far easier.

If there's a call being reviewed under the hood, we're all able to watch it and give an opinion. The previous 20+ replies are available to us instantly, so we don't have to scroll through 20 posts of the same shit like in the game thread if we want to respond to someone. You're also almost guaranteed to get a response back, because the guy will actually see that you commented to him... unless he's away taking a piss or something.

It's the closest thing to bringing a pack of your friends over to a large living room and experiencing the game together.

**Easy 6** · 09-25-2014, 10:43 AM

Thanks for the explanation fella's, it actually does sound like a better way to discuss the game... can I crash the party on monday if a bring a 12 pack of Schlitz?

rico · 09-25-2014, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Easy 6

Thanks for the explanation fella's, it actually does sound like a better way to discuss the game... can I crash the party on monday if a bring a 12 pack of Schlitz?

Schlitz....niiiiice. I like that stuff.

**Bufkin** · 09-25-2014, 10:54 AM

I didn't even know CP had a chatroom. That's pretty punk rock.

stumppy · 09-25-2014, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bufkin

I didn't even know CP had a chatroom. That's pretty punk rock.

Yea, it's pretty cool. Too bad you have to have at least 3000 posts to join in.

Yea.....too bad. Maybe next year.

Discuss Thrower · 09-25-2014, 11:38 AM

Ssssh don't tell anyone about the chat room

**Easy 6** · 09-25-2014, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico

Schlitz....niiiiice. I like that stuff.

If people would prefer, I'll spend more money and make it a 12 of PBR.

09-24-2014, 09:30 PM
RealSNR Special Teams ACE!!! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Where the hell is SNR Casino cash: $-1304792	Late night bullshit: Direckshun is a slut bucket. 29. Direckshun Welcome to the LNBS Lounge, where tonight Direckshun is the guest of honor. These threads usually go one of two ways depending on the topic. If it's a football thread, Direckshun will lay out a detailed and well-considered blueprint or opinion that begins with something reasonable like, "The Chiefs need to get better secondary help" and will devolve into crazy bullshit such as, "Kurt Coleman is going to be the key to a successful playoff run at the playoffs." If it's a non-football topic, he'll project his real life cosplay interests into the discussion parameters. For example, he'll pretend to be a bartender who listens to your problems. Or he'll be the engineer of a magical train that will take you back to any moment in your life that you'd most like to re-live. Tonight we're not doing either of those things. We're going to skip his stupid folksy-nouveau way of conversing, where you call a random stranger "my brother" or say "swing and a miss" when people say something that doesn't line up. Tonight we're going to rape Direckshun. He seems like a nice person, but he frustrates us all in so many special and varied ways. I'd like us to share those Direckshun moments with each other, whatever they may be. Since I'm supposed to be roasting him, I'll go first. Feel free to share as much or as little as you want. 1. Direckshun talks like a ing weirdo Usually shows up as a symptom when involved in a political conversation with a surly opponent. He talks to the guy like he's a character from a Homestar Runner cartoon who is physically in the same room as the person he's talking to. "Pete. Pete. Listen to me. Stop saying words." He's also awful at insults, even just as playful jabs. I think he once said, "SNR eats whale dung." That's weird. 2. Direckshun never fights back Direckshun is great for this forum in many ways because he generates content and conversation, especially in football matters. He's like a bad-tasting oral laxative when CP is having trouble passing football topics onto the front page. But he's got his share of dumb ideas, and he has plenty of people like Clay who will mercilessly tear into him even when it's not warranted. Milkman calls him a dumbass. How does Direckshun respond? "Hoho, you're probably right. I CAN get carried away with my mocks, can't I? I'll take your advise and shut the ** up next time!" He won't defend his idea politely or even leave a nice little "Blow me." 3. From the tone of his posts, you can tell that he's a stupid hipster I've never read a Direckshun post where I couldn't smell the PBR stench in the wifi that transmitted it to my computer screen. Every time he writes something, it's got that shitty subtley ironic tone. The dolphin wearing a helmet thread? I actually like that thread. I love comedic false outrage threads. But when Direckshun does it, he somehow makes it... trendy. I could see him and his shitty beard (come on, you just KNOW he ing has one) trying to start some Rob Schneider catch phrase around the office or wherever the he works. "Because we're the Chiefs." It's even worse now because he's got all of YOU **ing saying it. Now whenever he posts some awful shitty prediction, as long as it's glass-half-empty, he can say "Because we're the Chiefs" to justify it, and everybody will go along with it. That's all I got for now. When I think of more, I'll post them and update this OP, because that's something easy and quick that I can do for any person who might enjoy this thread.
Posts: 93,272

09-25-2014, 09:24 AM	#47
Halfcan In Search of a Life Join Date: Aug 2005 Casino cash: $7327995	I see Direckshun as this genius draft guru. He rushes home from work at Best Buy and goes straight to his draft room. It is filled top to bottom with draft boards, college stats he hasn't updated into the Master Book of Records . He has five computers dedicated strictly to college games and is saving for a sixth just to hold his massive collection of stats that he has analyzed, decoded and placed in the Master BRer. Sometimes he gets so involved he falls asleep on his huge pile of college football mags and dreams of the day when his logarithmic functions, equations and programs become the standard used by the NFL. He wakes up happy knowing he is one game film closer everyday.
Posts: 43,200

09-25-2014, 09:54 AM	#50
Easy 6 pie is never free Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: the drivers seat Casino cash: $47775	this one was truly excellent, you nailed his persona. Good stuff.
Posts: 98,233

09-25-2014, 10:00 AM	#51
Easy 6 pie is never free Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: the drivers seat Casino cash: $47775	Honest question, can someone tell me what the biggest difference between chat and game thread is?
Posts: 98,233

09-25-2014, 10:43 AM	#55
Easy 6 pie is never free Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: the drivers seat Casino cash: $47775	Thanks for the explanation fella's, it actually does sound like a better way to discuss the game... can I crash the party on monday if a bring a 12 pack of Schlitz?
Posts: 98,233

09-25-2014, 11:38 AM	#59
Discuss Thrower "You like to drink?" Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: "I like to drink." Casino cash: $-160000	Ssssh don't tell anyone about the chat room __________________ Chiefs 2016 Opponents: Home: JAX, TEN, NO, TB, NYJ. Away: HOU, IND, ATL, CAR, PIT Chiefs 2017 Opponents: Home: BUF, MIA, PHI, WSH, AFC North. Away: NE, NYJ, NYG, DAL, AFC South
Posts: 45,207