Which head coaching vacancy would you want to fill?

[Rain Man]

All of those are carcinogenic in some way. There's a reason that they're vacant.

Buffalo Bills - It's a legitimate franchise, if not a desirable one. Their challenge is that free agents will always mark Buffalo down a notch compared to other teams, so you'll always have a bit less talent to work with.

Jacksonville Jaguars - At some point it's likely that the team will move, and the fan base is lackluster. Maybe you can do here what Green Bay did in the late 50s, but probably not. Still, you've got a shot.

San Diego Chargers - This one is kind of intriguing because there won't be a media spotlight on you. No one in Los Angeles cares about football, and you'll be the B team compared to the Rams. It's like being the Jets in New York. The main downside here will be the commute to work.

Los Angeles Rams - See above. The Rams will get a little more attention than the Chargers, but in the end there's not a fan base that cares. The Rams have worse ownership, too.

Denver Broncos - Okay, first off, I don't want to affiliate with cheaters and we know they cheat constantly. But setting that aside, this is a complete no-win for a coach. Broncos fans have been brainwashed to think that John Elway is infallible, and he's actually quite mediocre. So when that mediocrity stays around, who's going to get blamed? Ask John Fox if he knows the answer to that one. This one is a no-win. If you're successful, Elway will take the credit and no one will believe you, and if you're unsuccessful you'll get both your blame and Elway's (considerable) share. No, thanks. But it's a nice city.

San Francisco 49ers - Based on what we're reading, you shouldn't even go near this place.