The Lexicon
of
ChiefsPlanet
AIDS: Something terrible that you wish to inflict upon someone else because of a minor disagreement over something football related or due to an argument over the internet. Can also be weaponized ("I will cut your arm off with an AIDSaw") or found in nature and just affect your enemy randomly ("I hope you crash into a burning AIDS tree") or occur in any number of man made or natural fashions ("here , eat this AIDS sammwich i made for you, genious").Its use is Limited only by imagination.... Mainly used to display minor and subtle unhappiness with someone over nuanced arguments.
Alexian: 1) Pertaining to or related to Alex Smith or 2) a disciple and worshiper of same
Alexsexual: Someone sexually attracted to Alex Smith and/or someone with FatHead posters of Alex Smith in their room that have glowing spatter on them when lit up with a UV light. Obviously following around a mediocre player for years and making thousands of posts defending his honor much like a teenage girl defends Justin Bieber is normal and not in any way creepy for an adult male to do.
Antifreeze: A lethal and almost undetectable poison that you offer, in a large mug, to a person that has a differing point of view than yourself.
Argue Something to a Dead Horse: The DC scholars have used AI and other cryptographic methods to try and decipher what BEP meant in this post here:
(click here) , but have only been able to narrow it down to two possibilities: 1) trying to debate an actual dead animal or 2) trying to explain something simple to BEP . Which one is it? Most likely AI won;t be advanced enough for many years to figure this mystery out.
Asking For A Friend: When someone needs to urgently know a piece of information for someone they know in real life, they do not consult an expert..they consult Chiefsplanet. WHy ask a lawyer a legal question or a doctor a medical question when you can ask hundreds of the brightest minds on the internet? Note: this cannot be used UNLESS you really are asking for a friend. Never lie about this and ask a question for yourself. That isn't right.
BAWAN: (must be in all caps!). Means "Meat Circle" in Mandarin. It is the polite and respectful way to refer to the sphincter muscle more commonly known as a butthole. The origin of this term's use on ChiefsPlanet appears to have come from one of the Mods abusing the meat circle of a highly respected and intelligent poster. History of this tragic incident can be found here:
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=310842
Because Chiefs: The main and scientifically proven reason for anything
negative that happens to anyone on the Chiefs, the Chiefs themselves as a team or anything related to the Chiefs in general.
Belcher: Can be used as a verb or noun. It describes the cowardly act of killing someone else before you commit suicide. This act is reserved only for the absolutely cowardly and is committed only at the lowest point of a franchise..Like after going 4-12 or less a few seasons in a row.
Bigfoot: A big name player that the Chiefs acquire who everyone has heard their name, but no one has ever seen actually make a play of the football field.
Butt****ing Moron: The average poster around here...Someone who makes posts on ChiefsPlanet.Com , or just a typical member here.
Bring Him In For a Look: An ironic statement made by only the most knowledgeable genious members of Chiefsplanet that actually means the opposite of what it appears. In reality, if this is said about a player it means the person uttering this phrase wants nothing to do with this player and thinks their addition to our team would be short sighted or that they are probably a broke dick.
Brazilian Midget: A tiny place kicker with brown skin. This term started with Cairos Santos , who was actually from Brazil but in a post-Santos world will probably be applied to any place kicker is less than 6 feet tall and from
any Central or South American land, or any short-ish place kicker with brown skin.
Broke Apart in Midair: I am pretty dure this term originated from one of the most intelligent posters on this board. It is a completely scientific description that conveys a sense of tragedy and gives you a visual reference to something or someone having a disastrous end. "That post broke apart in mid-air"
Broke Dick: Any veteran free agent (FA) signed by 1) Faders or Cheating Donks. Especially if is one of
our often injured running backs or 2) Any FA signed by the Chiefs if you are trying to make an argument against signing that particular FA.
Brokie: A prefix or suffix added to a chiefs player's name under 2 conditions: 1) It (or even part of it) can be made to sound like or rhyme with part of their name...and 2) they are "injury prone". Good examples are: Tony Brokeaki , Brokie Croyle.
Butt****ing Moron: A special pet name for a friend you have made on Chiefsplanet that has made an especially interesting or valid post. If you get called this, it means you are beloved and respected. This term I believe was made popular by Dane, who is known as being very kind and friendly to new members and those who make mistakes in their posts and need some help.
Casselian: Related to, resembling, or comparable to one of the greatest Chiefs of all time: Matthew Brennan Cassel.
C J Spillered: To be fired from your job, only to be given another chance- then fired again, then somehow get your job back, but then get fired again before you even get started.
Clay / Claynus: The Most prolific poster in ChiefsPlanet history. No one knows whether or not he loves or hates the Chiefs. No one can say for certain whether or not he is a virgin. In fact no one really knows whether he has ever been outside. His perspective and football understanding is based purely on reason / logic and in no way is biased by hatred for certain players or regimes. Also known for making videos, memes and gifs of important historic events in our history. Hall of Fame member, no question.
College Nobodies: Undrafted Free Agents signed by KC
outstanding citizen: A weak, non macho member who is so completely passive that they allow their women to be used sexually by stronger members. They claim they do this because they wish to make their women happy , knowing that other stronger members can pleasure their women better than they can. But in reality they are just fearful and scared and haven't learned to be real men yet.
Damn It, Carl: Something to be exclaimed after a "Reach" or "Wasted Pick" or after we draft a "College Nobody". This phrase came into existence during the Carl Peterson era and is now used in general almost any time the KC Chiefs make any draft pick whatsoever.
D.C.: A bizarre subforum of Chiefsplanet where you would only dare to go if the typical Butt****ing Morans , Geniouses, Homers, Truefans, Retarts and other denizens that inhabit this shit hole are actually not obnoxious , insulting and sociopathic enough to suit your needs. Oh and they also discuss politics, religion, race and philosophy between hurling insults.
Designed sack: A bullshit excuse presented for a quarterback who takes a sack instead of doing something intelligent with the football. Invented by Alexsexuals during the great Alexsexual Migration of 2013
Dolphin Rape Cave: A term used to describe a dangerous place where it is almost assured that no one could escape without being brutalized by a large group of males. Mostly this is used to refer to "One Arrowhead Drive" or "Arrowhead Stadium". see:
https://youtu.be/vfPZu5RbKM0 for details of the dangers of dolphin rape caves
Donk: Something or someone related to the Denver Broncos.
**** Donk Forever: (See Donk) A casual greeting or exclamation made to a Donks Fan. Also can be used upon seeing, hearing or reading something about, by or related to a donk. A general statement of friendship and camaraderie towards Donks and their fans.
Drafturbator: The most well versed of all fans. Has studied the draft value charts and memorized all of the different scenarios involving draft order, trades and is also familiar with every single college football team's offense and defense and personnel. This person's opinion regarding college football players and all things NFL Draft related is highly sought after and respected throughout the land.
Drink Antifreeze:(See Antifreeze) Something you tell someone to do when you have run out of scientific facts or evidence to prove your case and they simply refuse to listen to your crystal clear logic.
Dumbass: High praise from a fellow chiefsplanet member. One of the most honored members & one of the elder Drafturbators of ChiefsPlanet (Milkman) has been known to lavish this compliment on those newer members who seem promising or even upon long term members when they make yet another post that he approves of.
Escalades: (see Kados)
Executive of The Decade: An award received by only the greatest of NFL executives. Scott Pioli won this honor before being hired on to fix the Chiefs. Clearly this award was illustrative of all of the future success Mr. Pioli would have with the Chiefs.
Faders: (The Fade, The Faid, Faiders) A name bestowed upon our friendly rivals, the Oakland Raiders. I believe it means "a really good football team that isn't filled with a bunch of losers and criminals" in Hungarian.
Fatlock: (See Shitlock)
Fisty McTat: A mysterious mustached gentleman who shows up for big moments during the course of our history. He is often captured in images..lurking around ...up to something but I am not sure if anyone knows why or what his purpose is. Some say he is a relative of Pestilence as there is a resemblance. Others say SofaKing created him using some type of DNA or cloning technology with genetic material stolen from Pestilence. For discussion and history of Fisty McTat , see here:
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=258141
Fix the Defense: A statement by Homers and Truefans uttered towards the end of a mediocre season in which there was a degree of regular season success and winning, but got an early exit from the playoffs. This statement alleviates responsibility from the QB while simultaneously showing support for the offense as a whole as well as the 'game manager' style of football. Homers believe that an average offense is all that is needed if we have an elite defense, so it is always the defenses fault because they did not hold the opposing team to 3 or less points.
Genious: Any Internet BB poster who claims to know more about NFL talent evaluation, running an NFL franchise or playing in the NFL than those currently employed in the NFL. Most of the posters on CP are , in fact, geniouses.
Get Lucky: A) What caused FA, draft pick, traded player to have a 'good' season. B) Could also be the cause of a playoff win or SB win.
Hidden touchdown: Assigning merit for a running back or wide receiver's touchdown to a quarterback who did not produce the touchdown but obviously did something that led to the touchdown. Used mainly for quarterbacks who don't throw a lot of touchdowns.
High Profile College Prospects: Undrafted Free Agents that were not signed by KC
Homer : A complimentary term for those Chief Fans (True Fans) who manage to always find the positives in every situation...Those gifted individuals who predict wins despite overwhelming odds or who manage to "love" every draft pick we make despite never have watched a single game of college football that season...these geniouses also manage to know that any player we cut, trade or release would not have been a good fit on our team or had any measure of success as a chief any longer.
Injury Prone: Any player who has been injured at least once or twice in their entire career. (Eric Fisher is injury prone.)
JAG: Some know this as "Just Another Guy" but this mainly refers to most KC Chiefs Players we are considering drafting / acquiring or any KC Chief Player not wearing a superbowl ring.
KaDo's: (Kados,Kadoos, Escalades etc) An award bestowed on a poster who makes a solid contribution or just a general compliment paid to someone for doing something nice. Possibly comes for the words 'Kudos' and 'Accolades' but this is debated amongst Chiefplanet scholars..and is possibly just a different language altogether. See
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showt...ighlight=kados
Kick the Tires: An expression used by geniouses who have the increbile idea to bring EVERY SINGLE player that gets cut, waived, or has played a single down in the NFL or even looked strong stocking shelves at home depot in for a look and a tryout with the Chiefs. No one has ever thought of that before.
Kill Yourself: A commonly used phrase to gently tell someone that their opinion is probably not accurate. Made popular by CP scholar Hamas Jenkins possibly during the Cassel era.
Leaving Forever Thread: Many times in the career of a chiefsplanet poster, it becomes necessary to leave Chiefsplanet for a short time, such as a few hours or possibly up to a month. This could be due to a failing marriage from spending too much time with the Drafturbators discussing fixing the defense, or possibly from a financial disaster related to losing your job because you were posting 40 times a day. There is a small chance that the sabbatical might be needed because of immense butthurt caused by some other member in your vaginal region. In all cases, when a short break will be taken, it is customary to write a "Leaving Forever" thread to let others know you are fine and not at all butthurt and will be coming back very soon. Not doing this is considered rude by most.
Lil' Chiefy: (see Homer, TrueFan) A Homer / TrueFan of such a pristine, innocent & pure nature that they are bestowed with a special title to recognize the child-like and magical vision they have regarding our beloved football team.
Looser: The certified spelling of the commonly understood word 'Loser'. Extra 'o' is added for emphasis as to how big a loser receipient of said word really is.
Lost it's Burst: can be used to describe any event , person, post or hell even the entire message board when you have some boredom or there isnt a whole bunch of excitement for a period of at least 30 seconds.
Mahomo: Someone who can prove statistically , using only logic, that Pat Mahomes II will be a Superbowl MVP, the greatest QB who ever lived and a future Hall Of Famer.
Meat Circle: (See BAWAN for complete details) The polite term for referring to the part of your turd cutter where the poop exits.
Meatpeeker: A courtesy title awarded to the guy who exhibits the completely normal behavior of attempting to look at another man's penis while at a urinal. This could be for the completely innocent purpose of seeing how large he is compared to your small penis or perhaps some sort of sexual attraction.
Mic'd Up / Mic Up: See vocaroo.
Midnight Vulture: Some moran stole a laptop, then made a series of posts bragging about being a douche, stealing laptops and generally showing everyone how awesome he was. His name was Midnight Vulture. The thread lives on in infamy here:
http://work.chiefsplanet.com/BB/show...e=155&t=165020 and I suppose the term can be used as a verb now ..."Aww shit....my samsung tablet got midnight vultured..."
Mind Bottling: A compliment used to describe a True Fan's, or a Genious' amazing revelation that no one in the world thought of before. If someone said this to you, it probably means your idea/thought/suggestion was the best they have ever heard.
Moran: Something nice that you say to someone you care about when you wish to express that they had a clever or interesting idea. Comes from the word moron but the second "o" is replaced by an "a" to make it clear you genuinely respect them. See also genious, homer, retart, butt****ing moron etc
Mule Tool: A donk fan who , for very valid reasons couldn't post anything here at CP until after the game and suddenly finds all kinds of free time to make helpful and informative posts.
MVP: When referring to the Chiefs' MVP, it is usually the punter. Currently our MVP is Dustin Colquitt , known for his ability to punish the opponent and reward our own 3rd down inefficiency by delivering devastating punts inside the 20 yard line. It is helpful to have an MVP punter when you run a Casselian offense or have a game manager as a QB.
NFL Caliber Talent: Something KC does not have, especially at 'key' positions, that all other NFL Franchises are teeming with.
NTTAWWT: An expression that while literally means "Not that there's anything wrong with that" , in practice it pretty much means EVERYTHING is wrong with that. It is intended to point out, underscore and humiliate someone's weird or freakish and definitely abnormal behavior. From a Seinfeld episode (The Outing).
Overreaction Planet: An ironic name given to the rock solid and stable members of Chiefsplanet.Com who actually do not overreact or post knee-jerk hyperbolic responses to any and every signing, player cut/release, change in staff, win, loss, tie, injury or any other tidbit of news. It is meant to show that in general most people who comment on internet message boards are reasonable and consistent.
Patsification: (The patriots way, wtc..) The glorious "Excecutive of the Decade" decided to try and bring a little bit of the Tom Brady mojo over to the Cheifs and lift them out of the gutter. Of course who was the QB that This genious decided to bring over from the Pats? Matthew Brennan Cassel. Patsification is /was the act of trying to become more like a winning franchise and do everything they would do to succeed. Bringing Cassel over was definitely the most important component of the master plan.
PIIHB: Put it in her Butt....This phrase signifies what the average Butt****ing Moran around here would do to any female as long as she had a pulse and was at least a 2 / 10 in terms of looks.
Pissed Away: Any draft pick traded by KC
Print 'Em: An absolute 100% iron clad GUARANTEE that something will occur. Comes from the printing playoff tickets as soon as we KNOW we will be in the playoffs for sure. This is never to be used unless you are absolutely totally positive that whatever it is you are claiming or whatever your prediction is will come true. There are harsh consequences for being wrong after uttering this powerful covenant.
The Profile: A mythical paradigm usually used as an excuse by the Chief's front office as a reason for not signing an impact free agent in their continued attempt to keep the team mediocre and fill the seats of Arrowhead stadium.
Prolific Success: KC going over .500 with Gunther and
or Marty. Also can be used to denote winning a bunch of
regular season games with any coach, yet please note that failing to succeed in the playoffs does not nullify prolific success.
Q: A one letter insult that you post into someone's thread if they ever caused you any degree of butthurt AND this new thread has ANY similarity to any thread that has ever existed previously, even if it is decades old or just a vague similarity.
QB Bust: Any QB taken in the first 5 rounds of the draft, by any NFL franchise other than KC.
Reach: (See Wasted pick)
Reviewed the Game Tape: When one of the genious posters spends 5 seconds pressing replay on their DVR of a play from the wrong angle and manages to have a unique and enlightened take on this...that is much more accurate than the broadcast announcers or even the coaches and other players , this is referred to as 'reviewing the game tape'.
RRPP: Run, Run , Pass, Punt. An extremely boring series of play calls that became popular during the Herm Era. The most perfect example of RRPP would be if the P was also well behind the 1st down marker, say a 5 yard pass on 3rd and 9.
ReposQ: see Q
Retart: The ChiefsPlanet spelling of the commonly used word 'reerun'. Replacing the 'd' with a 't' is added for emphasis as to how stupid recipient of said word really is.
Romper'd: When a member's contributions are deemed so highly valuable..so utterly priceless that they must be protected and saved for all time...not to be lost in the cacophony of the Lounge....the user is placed on the golden pedestal commonly known as "the romper room." From this high perch, the Romper'd user is free to espouse his philosophy without fear that it would be mistook for the normal banter of typical Truefans or Morans.
Setting up the punter: A positive spin on a game manager's inability to convert on third down.
Shitlock: (Fatlock) A friendly nickname given to the erudite gentleman who writes brilliant sports related prose. Also known as Jason Whitlock.
Short-sighted: When KC signs a veteran FA.
Show them the ropes: This is what broke dick veterans are supposed to do for younger players when the Chiefs keep them around way too long. Its an excuse used mainly by homers and retarts to justify signing extensions for and keeping veteran players around for much longer than is beneficial to the team.
Stay Down Bitch: A helpful statement of encouragement made to players of opposing teams like our friends the Donks and Faders when one of their Broke Dicks is pretending to be hurt.
Steel Men Are Coming: An ominous warning, at 1st given by invading Pittsburgh Steeler fans heralding the "doom" of our beloved chiefs days before we faced each other in battle. When someone says this, it means a dangerous foe is headed into Arrowhead Stadium..possibly the Steelers...and we as fans should be concerned and frightened. See
www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=68629 for history.
Take Head: (Took Head - Past tense) The generous act of allowing an older or possibly ugly female (perhaps other genders or mixed genders as well) to place their mouth on your penis and move it around. Taking Head is a generous and thoughtful act, often occurring in parking lots of local businesses that we support such as: Chilis, Applebees, Wal-Mart etc.
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/bb/showthread.php?t=287667
TL;DR: (TLDNR) Geniouses write this simple abbreviation on posts of medium length when they do not understand what is written and can't follow the simple logic within. Or if they have no retort or response to a valid argument, this will be used to completely bypass the discussion altogether. Literally it translates as "Too Long , Didn't Read" , however as geniouses have been known to read and write lengthy essays on taking head, gay days, and other complicated topics we all know that this is a lie.
To The Ship!!!: A phrase used to signify how "awesome" a signing, draft pick, or other move made by the Chiefs is. Usually uttered by someone who just the very day before was talking shit on the Chiefs organization and most of its players. It signifies a real change of heart in the person who yells this statement. A genuine battle cry showing support for some action taken by the Chiefs, this phrase is not to be used ironically or sarcastically or it will confuse Homers and Truefans.
Too Fat: This is a judgment that CP members make upon even beautiful women because as everyone knows CP members are extremely picky..we are all 6'2" and fit and would never have sex with anyone less than a 10. Therefore all but supermodels and the hottest women on the planet are probably "too fat" / unacceptable for the average member here.
Trint: A cute moniker for the beloved Trent Green ("Tr INT")
True Fan: Sometimes shortened to 'Truefan' , this is an affectionate term for someone who has proven themselves a 'Homer' and can take any negative situation then turn it around into a positive. The only real, genuine fan because people who say negative things about anything related to the Chiefs cannot be true fans.
Vocaroo: (
www.vocaroo.com ) You can request that someone make an audio recording of a particularly excellent post. Or you can make one yourself of a post that you admire. Note: this is not to be used in a creepy or sarcastic fashion. This is for true adulation only.
Wasted Pick: Any draft pick used by KC to select a player
Well , Bye: A typical farewell statement made to someone when you REALLY care that they are leaving and are hopeful their return is expedited.
Wrapper Gate: At the beginning of his tenure, Scott Pioli placed a candy wrapper in a back hallway / stairwell at Arrowhead. He waited and observed how long it took Chiefs staff to notice and deal with this horrible eyesore / blight. After over a week of walking by and being disturbed by this awful cancerous litter....he collected the specimen into a container (an envelope) for later evidence. During a meeting at a later date, he produced the container and revealed the specimen for all to see. He had now proven that the Chiefs attention to detail was lacking and furthermore HE was the Executive of the Decade [TM] who was here to bring a dynasty to our glorious organization. No one thought this was creepy at all.
Winning the Lottery: What happens if a coach or player currently with KC had played in and won the SB with a another NFL franchise. This term will also be used to describe a KC SB winning season. See also 'Get Lucky'
You Seem Nice: The Highest compliment that can be paid to another member. Not surprisingly, this compliment originated from the nicest member of all time: SimplyRed. Can also be used ironically, so it can be difficult to tell what was truly meant.....unless of course you are a genious.
Your and idiot: A very polite and proper way of telling someone you have a minor disagreement with their viewpoint. This is the correct grammatical method for this phrase. All other versions are wrong.
**if there are any errors please send a bunch of PM's to Dane McCloud or Bob Dole , thank you **
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ChiefsPlanet Lexicon: A Terminology Guide , Dictionary and Glossary of Terms
