Life I think I'm probably about to up the bar again - Page 20

Ultra Peanut · 04:12 PM

Well, I suspect this is going to be a trip. Because the following is going to be exceptionally long and putting it in the thread starter would be downright criminal once this reaches multiple pages (and trust me, it will), please brace for impact. You really need to brace for impact.

DISCLAIMER FROM FUTURE PSI/UP: DON'T READ THIS MOPEY GARBAGE. IT WAS JUST ME ADMITTING THAT I'M TRANS IN AN OVERLY DRAMATIC FASHION. THINGS ARE QUANTIFIABLY MORE AWESOME FOR ME NOW THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO, THE END.

Ultra Peanut · 05-14-2005, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

So badgirl read the post, and the bombshell that she came away with is, "Wow, (s)he's young."

I'm sure it was a stunning revelation.

tk13 · 05-14-2005, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Does that offer go to anyone, or just angel?

Just angel, but if you want to try it with your significant other, be my guest.

Frazod · 05-14-2005, 05:50 PM

This settles it. I'm going back to Colorado.

badgirl · 05-14-2005, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psicosis

I'm sure it was a stunning revelation.

Oh you mean the girl being trapped in your male body? Well, if you said you were gay, black, hispanic, it wouldn't matter to me, I like to read your posts and you seem like a good person, who has never been mean to me, so I don't care what you are, hell you could be a alien and it wouldn't matter I like you, but I never pictured you as young, well I never pictured you as a shemale either.

**CosmicPal** · 05-14-2005, 05:52 PM

Weird.

I don't know what to say, but maybe a little wisdom from a concert one evening when a stoned dude once told me: Man, unlike other animals, have never learned that the sole purpose of life is to enjoy it.

Psi- enjoy it!

Ultra Peanut · 05-14-2005, 05:56 PM

I meant the young part.

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgirl

I never pictured you as a shemale either.

Wow, I'm finally offended!

tk13 · 05-14-2005, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psicosis

So is the cantaloupe (they're actually musk melons, you know) for her mouth, too, or does it have some other purpose?

I'm not sure yet. I think I'll need them to stop my ears from bleeding after listening to Hawk Harrelson for the last hour.

Ultra Peanut · 05-14-2005, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tk13

I'm not sure yet. I think I'll need them to stop my ears from bleeding after listening to Hawk Harrelson for the last hour.

Truly a fate worse than death.

milkman · 05-14-2005, 06:03 PM

Wow.
Just wow.

Bob Dole isn't really Bob Dole.
How can Bob Dole (or whoever the hell you are) live with Bob Dole (or whoever the hell you are) after all these years of deception?

And anyone that puts ketchup on steak needs to be shot.

And I don't even know what Psi's problem is.
So you're a woman trapped in a man's body.

Big freakin' deal!

Call us when ya got a real problem, like when you find a man that never puts the seat down.
That's a real problem for women, at least according to my wife.

**Baby Lee** · 05-14-2005, 06:11 PM

If I can ask, what makes you feel this way? I'm not talking about root sources, I'm talking about specific aspects?

Attraction to guys?
A drive to be found attractive by men?
Wish to emulate femininity?
The clothes?
Traditional gender roles?

Don't worry about hurting my feelings if you don't want to answer.

4th and Long · 05-14-2005, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgirl

Seriously Psi, I am glad you got to get this off your ~~chest~~ tits

I fixed your post for you.

tk13 · 05-14-2005, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psicosis

Truly a fate worse than death.

Never fear, Heavyweights is on the Disney channel. Time to repulse the monkey.

JazzzLovr · 05-14-2005, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chiefs4me

......and how the hell are you supposed to know if they are one of those. I gotta tell you that there are at least 3 people on the planet that I tend to think lean that way...

Just to clarify... How many times are you counting Tom Cash?

Ultra Peanut · 05-14-2005, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baby Lee

If I can ask, what makes you feel this way? I'm not talking about root sources, I'm talking about specific aspects?

Attraction to guys?
A drive to be found attractive by men?
Wish to emulate femininity?
The clothes?
Traditional gender roles?

Don't worry about hurting my feelings if you don't want to answer.

Explaining things has never really been my forte, so an already beyond difficult subject for anyone who's not actually experienced it to understand is made even tougher, but I'll try to explain a little.

I've never identified as a guy. Just, haven't done it. I've never felt like I "belonged" in that classification, and I've really never been that comfortable around guys (especially as time has gone on; my best friend's not your typical "manly man" -- some would probably describe him as a "metrosexual," with his longish hair and soft features and generally not-terribly-masculine interests; he's a guy, just not a super-masculine one -- and I'm still uncomfortable around him most of the time; 'course, part of that could stem from the fact that, while he's nonchalantly looking at porn, I'll be holding back thoughts like, "Why does she feel the need to do that? If I had her body, there's no way I'd let everyone see it like that. God, I wish I had her body."). Like I said, even when I was very young and really didn't have a clue what all of the differences were, I always thought of myself as being a girl. I couldn't see myself any other way, despite the confusion I felt when I realized that admitting that to people would be a bad idea. I was pretty perceptive for a kid, really, which both helped and hurt.

As for most of the stuff you mentioned, it didn't really impact my perception of who I was as much as it was affected by my perception of who I was. I think I'm probably straight, on the whole, because I find certain guys to be pretty hot at times (and whenever I look at pretty girls, envy is the overwhelming emotion), but I never really think too much about that simply because I have too much of my own stuff to deal with to worry about anyone else. Also, I do think it would be nice to have the option of wearing something cool-looking or pretty rather than the crap I wear (mostly a big, bland pullover and cargo pants, weather permitting, with ragged sneakers, which is ironically what seems to be fairly popular among trans guys -- "trans guys," by the way, refers to genetic females who feel their gender identity is male), but again, it's more of a side effect rather than some driving force.

Now, why is it that I didn't (and don't) identify with the people who share my physical similarities? What makes the vast majority of people comfortable in their bodies/assigned gender roles while that small group of us isn't? I have no idea, and really, no one does. There are lots of theories, but that's all there are. Nothing conclusive. Most of them revolve around stuff like hormone levels at birth or what have you, but I don't really know enough or even care enough to find out too much. I can't change who I am, so does it really matter why on a scientific level? Sure, it would be great to be able to hold up something to "prove" myself to those who can't comprehend it, but there's nothing out there that currently does so, so I can't bother myself with it.

I don't know. It's just really tough to explain, and the rambling takes over every time I try to. Imagine yourself placed into a female body (or a male body, for female posters/readers, which is more analogous to my situation), and then imagine everyone expecting you to act like you're entirely comfortable with that and that you like who you're expected to be, when you are really, truly not. Toss in severe self-consciousness and paranoia, and maybe that's an approximation of what it's like, though from a different direction (and I have a ton of sympathy for trans guys; both sides have it extremely tough in similar and different ways).

In the end, though, I don't really think it's possible for someone who hasn't had to think about their gender to understand, though, just as someone who's always been blind or deaf doesn't really "get" sight or music the way people who have lived with it as a part of their lives for as long as they can remember do. It's just such an innate part of your being.

chiefs4me · 05-14-2005, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tk13

Don't worry, if chiefs4me ever wants to go to the game with me, she will behold the power of cantalope and duct tape.

oooh I love duct tape...

05-13-2005, 11:03 AM
Ultra Peanut v^V^v^V^v^V^ Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Holland* Casino cash: $10005177	I think I'm probably about to up the bar again Well, I suspect this is going to be a trip. Because the following is going to be exceptionally long and putting it in the thread starter would be downright criminal once this reaches multiple pages (and trust me, it will), please brace for impact. You really need to brace for impact. DISCLAIMER FROM FUTURE PSI/UP: DON'T READ THIS MOPEY GARBAGE. IT WAS JUST ME ADMITTING THAT I'M TRANS IN AN OVERLY DRAMATIC FASHION. THINGS ARE QUANTIFIABLY MORE AWESOME FOR ME NOW THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO, THE END. Last edited by Ultra Peanut; 08-30-2011 at 04:12 PM..
Posts: 39,518

05-14-2005, 05:50 PM	#288
Frazod Did you hear what I said? Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $-826615	This settles it. I'm going back to Colorado.
Posts: 121,788

05-14-2005, 05:52 PM	#290
CosmicPal Learn it. Know it. Live it. Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: St. Petersburg, FL Casino cash: $10004900	Weird. I don't know what to say, but maybe a little wisdom from a concert one evening when a stoned dude once told me: Man, unlike other animals, have never learned that the sole purpose of life is to enjoy it. Psi- enjoy it! __________________ - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - Four blessings upon my fellow planeteers: Older whiskey, younger women, faster horses, and more money.
Posts: 10,840

05-14-2005, 06:03 PM	#294
milkman Dumbass! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Leading the Marty bashing Casino cash: $10029395	Wow. Just wow. Bob Dole isn't really Bob Dole. How can Bob Dole (or whoever the hell you are) live with Bob Dole (or whoever the hell you are) after all these years of deception? And anyone that puts ketchup on steak needs to be shot. And I don't even know what Psi's problem is. So you're a woman trapped in a man's body. Big freakin' deal! Call us when ya got a real problem, like when you find a man that never puts the seat down. That's a real problem for women, at least according to my wife. __________________
Posts: 70,769

05-14-2005, 06:11 PM	#295
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $8028275	If I can ask, what makes you feel this way? I'm not talking about root sources, I'm talking about specific aspects? Attraction to guys? A drive to be found attractive by men? Wish to emulate femininity? The clothes? Traditional gender roles? Don't worry about hurting my feelings if you don't want to answer. __________________ We need the kind of courage that can withstand the subtle corruption of the cynics - E.W.
Posts: 95,642