Three AFC West kickers go into a room, only one comes out.

**RealSNR** · 08-18-2005, 08:09 PM

Who do you think?

Poll forthcoming.

Hammock Parties · 08-18-2005, 08:11 PM

Tynes. Fighting is in his blood, and he's bound to be quicker than fatass Janikowski. Sauerbrun is a roidin' reerun.

Simplex3 · 08-18-2005, 08:29 PM

I had to go with Carp, or Sea Biscut, or Bass Ass, or what the hell ever his name is. He'd be too drunk to leave the room.

**Rain Man** · 08-18-2005, 08:39 PM

Is Janikowski allowed to have his date rape drugs?

**RealSNR** · 08-18-2005, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Is Janikowski allowed to have his date rape drugs?

To make things interesting, we'll say Jano has his date rape drugs, Tynes has his claymore, and Sauerbrun has Martin Gramatica's head on a stick with which he uses to curse people.

Herzig · 08-18-2005, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Is Janikowski allowed to have his date rape drugs?

mcan · 08-19-2005, 02:38 AM

Todd Saurbrun in a heartbeat. Tynes might know how to throw a punch, but Todd is on steroids and lifts weights.

Todd = Bodybuilder
Tynes = soccer player
Jano = Fat ass, couch potato

He'd wipe the floor with these guys.

KChiefsQT · 08-19-2005, 02:54 AM

Now... what is it they are doing in the room? This could sway my vote depending...??

tk13 · 08-19-2005, 03:10 AM

It would start with all three kickers circling each other, walking around the room, sizing up the competition. Janikowski would open the dialogue by asking if anybody wants a drink. The others refuse. Janikowski scratches his head, moving slowly. He asks again if the gentlemen would like to partake. They again refuse. Sauerbrun is put off by this, and becomes enraged. He shouts across the room. Janikowski fires back, saying he's drugged and nailed much bigger chicks than Todd. Tynes laughs. This displeases Sauerbrun. His clothes begin to rip apart as his skin turns green. He is angry. He pushes Tynes against the wall, he falls to the floor in a heap. Sauerbrun turns his attention to Janikowski. Janikowski backs slowly into a corner, scared for his life. Sauerbrun towers over him... closing in. Suddenly, the door bursts open! Both men turn, it's... Nate Kaeding! Destroyer of footballs from Iowa! He charges at Sauerbrun, catching him off guard, Kaeding has a chance for the kill! He flies in, kicks at Todd!... and misses wide right. Sauerbrun grabs Kaeding by the throat and rips his head off. Fatality, Mortal Kombat style. Once again, Marty's kicker has choked.

Meanwhile, Janikowski has reached into his Bat utility belt, and from behind... shoves pills down Sauerbrun's throat! Todd stumbles around, saying "not GHB!" Janikowski laughs. "I wouldn't give you GHB... that's Viagra!" Sauerbrun's face goes into shock. Out of nowhere, Tynes, who has now come to his senses, does a flying judo kick, his leg puncturing Sauerbrun's back! Fatality! Todd falls to the ground.

Tynes and Janikowski laugh maniacally. "Nice move", says Seabass. Tynes laughs, then asks "Why on earth would you give him Viagra?" Janikowski laughs, "Because you fool... I am not really Sebastian Janikowski!" He then grabs his chin and rips the skin right off his face! It's a mask! He pulls his skin off to reveal... he's Rafael Palmeiro! Tynes is stunned, but quickly moves and punches Palmeiro in the nose, breaking it and knocking him to the floor. An omniscient voice screams "FINISH HIM!" Tynes moves in for the kill, swings his right foot... and misses completely! Tynes has missed the extra point! Palmeiro gets up, magically pulls a baseball bat out of his back pocket, and knocks Tynes across the room, knocking him out and winning the battle! Palmeiro laughs and leaves the room, knowing he is truly the best kicker in the AFC West.

KChiefsQT · 08-19-2005, 03:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tk13

It would start with all three kickers circling each other, walking around the room, sizing up the competition. Janikowski would open the dialogue by asking if anybody wants a drink. The others refuse. Janikowski scratches his head, moving slowly. He asks again if the gentlemen would like to partake. They again refuse. Sauerbrun is put off by this, and becomes enraged. He shouts across the room. Janikowski fires back, saying he's drugged and nailed much bigger chicks than Todd. Tynes laughs. This displeases Sauerbrun. His clothes begin to rip apart as his skin turns green. He is angry. He pushes Tynes against the wall, he falls to the floor in a heap. Sauerbrun turns his attention to Janikowski. Janikowski backs slowly into a corner, scared for his life. Sauerbrun towers over him... closing in. Suddenly, the door bursts open! Both men turn, it's... Nate Kaeding! Destroyer of footballs from Iowa! He charges at Sauerbrun, catching him off guard, Kaeding has a chance for the kill! He flies in, kicks at Todd!... and misses wide right. Sauerbrun grabs Kaeding by the throat and rips his head off. Fatality, Mortal Kombat style. Once again, Marty's kicker has choked.

Meanwhile, Janikowski has reached into his Bat utility belt, and from behind... shoves pills down Sauerbrun's throat! Todd stumbles around, saying "not GHB!" Janikowski laughs. "I wouldn't give you GHB... that's Viagra!" Sauerbrun's face goes into shock. Out of nowhere, Tynes, who has now come to his senses, does a flying judo kick, his leg puncturing Sauerbrun's back! Fatality! Todd falls to the ground.

Tynes and Janikowski laugh maniacally. "Nice move", says Seabass. Tynes laughs, then asks "Why on earth would you give him Viagra?" Janikowski laughs, "Because you fool... I am not really Sebastian Janikowski!" He then grabs his chin and rips the skin right off his face! It's a mask! He pulls his skin off to reveal... he's Rafael Palmeiro! Tynes is stunned, but quickly moves and punches Palmeiro in the nose, breaking it and knocking him to the floor. An omniscient voice screams "FINISH HIM!" Tynes moves in for the kill, swings his right foot... and misses completely! Tynes has missed the extra point! Palmeiro gets up, magically pulls a baseball bat out of his back pocket, and knocks Tynes across the room, knocking him out and winning the battle! Palmeiro laughs and leaves the room, knowing he is truly the best kicker in the AFC West.

well that was quite the explanation. Thanks TK!!!

tk13 · 08-19-2005, 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kchiefsqt

well that was quite the explanation. Thanks TK!!!

No problem. What would you do without me?

KChiefsQT · 08-19-2005, 03:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tk13

No problem. What would you do without me?

I haven't quite figured that one out yet!!

tk13 · 08-19-2005, 03:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kchiefsqt

I haven't quite figured that one out yet!!

Me either. When you figure it out, let me know.

KChiefsQT · 08-19-2005, 03:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tk13

Me either. When you figure it out, let me know.

I figured it out... I'd be talking to myself. Not a good idea to drink red bull after midnight... it's hard to pass out.

tk13 · 08-19-2005, 03:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kchiefsqt

I figured it out... I'd be talking to myself. Not a good idea to drink red bull after midnight... it's hard to pass out.

Yeah, probably not. A 32 oz. bottle of NyQuil will take care of that problem though.

View Poll Results: Who wins?
Todd Sauerbrun	8	17.78%
Lawrence Tynes	20	44.44%
Sebastian Janikowski	17	37.78%
Voters: 45. You may not vote on this poll

08-18-2005, 08:09 PM
RealSNR Special Teams ACE!!! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Where the hell is SNR Casino cash: $-1314792	Three AFC West kickers go into a room, only one comes out. Who do you think? Poll forthcoming.
Posts: 93,281

08-18-2005, 08:11 PM	#2
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $1020478	Tynes. Fighting is in his blood, and he's bound to be quicker than fatass Janikowski. Sauerbrun is a roidin' reerun. __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 296,742

08-18-2005, 08:29 PM	#3
Simplex3 MVP Join Date: Sep 2003 Casino cash: $10004900	I had to go with Carp, or Sea Biscut, or Bass Ass, or what the hell ever his name is. He'd be too drunk to leave the room.
Posts: 28,527

08-18-2005, 08:39 PM	#4
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-462449 VARSITY	Is Janikowski allowed to have his date rape drugs? __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,260

08-19-2005, 02:38 AM	#7
mcan Apr 13,1949 – Dec 15, 2011 Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Kansas City, MO Casino cash: $9996085	Todd Saurbrun in a heartbeat. Tynes might know how to throw a punch, but Todd is on steroids and lifts weights. Todd = Bodybuilder Tynes = soccer player Jano = Fat ass, couch potato He'd wipe the floor with these guys.
Posts: 3,761

08-19-2005, 02:54 AM	#8
KChiefsQT Kara G! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: California Casino cash: $9325122	Now... what is it they are doing in the room? This could sway my vote depending...?? __________________ ~Just a girl who loves football~
Posts: 4,070

08-19-2005, 03:10 AM	#9
tk13 ... Join Date: Nov 2001 Casino cash: $-1677500	It would start with all three kickers circling each other, walking around the room, sizing up the competition. Janikowski would open the dialogue by asking if anybody wants a drink. The others refuse. Janikowski scratches his head, moving slowly. He asks again if the gentlemen would like to partake. They again refuse. Sauerbrun is put off by this, and becomes enraged. He shouts across the room. Janikowski fires back, saying he's drugged and nailed much bigger chicks than Todd. Tynes laughs. This displeases Sauerbrun. His clothes begin to rip apart as his skin turns green. He is angry. He pushes Tynes against the wall, he falls to the floor in a heap. Sauerbrun turns his attention to Janikowski. Janikowski backs slowly into a corner, scared for his life. Sauerbrun towers over him... closing in. Suddenly, the door bursts open! Both men turn, it's... Nate Kaeding! Destroyer of footballs from Iowa! He charges at Sauerbrun, catching him off guard, Kaeding has a chance for the kill! He flies in, kicks at Todd!... and misses wide right. Sauerbrun grabs Kaeding by the throat and rips his head off. Fatality, Mortal Kombat style. Once again, Marty's kicker has choked. Meanwhile, Janikowski has reached into his Bat utility belt, and from behind... shoves pills down Sauerbrun's throat! Todd stumbles around, saying "not GHB!" Janikowski laughs. "I wouldn't give you GHB... that's Viagra!" Sauerbrun's face goes into shock. Out of nowhere, Tynes, who has now come to his senses, does a flying judo kick, his leg puncturing Sauerbrun's back! Fatality! Todd falls to the ground. Tynes and Janikowski laugh maniacally. "Nice move", says Seabass. Tynes laughs, then asks "Why on earth would you give him Viagra?" Janikowski laughs, "Because you fool... I am not really Sebastian Janikowski!" He then grabs his chin and rips the skin right off his face! It's a mask! He pulls his skin off to reveal... he's Rafael Palmeiro! Tynes is stunned, but quickly moves and punches Palmeiro in the nose, breaking it and knocking him to the floor. An omniscient voice screams "FINISH HIM!" Tynes moves in for the kill, swings his right foot... and misses completely! Tynes has missed the extra point! Palmeiro gets up, magically pulls a baseball bat out of his back pocket, and knocks Tynes across the room, knocking him out and winning the battle! Palmeiro laughs and leaves the room, knowing he is truly the best kicker in the AFC West.
Posts: 56,600