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Old 09-22-2006, 08:26 PM  
Loki Loki is offline
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prayer request: for my children

i have been contemplating wether or not to do this for quite some time and am still not too keen on spilling my guts out on this BB despite the fact that i feel there is a good sense of "community" here. i'm not an overly religious person and somewhat question the power of prayer, but if ever i needed support through prayer, now is that time. i have two beautiful children (daughter age 7, son age 5) and they really need your help/thoughts/prayers.

if any of you have been wondering where i have been or what i've been doing for the past couple months, here's the scoop... please bear with me as this is a LONG story.

for the last 2 years, i have been battling my ex-wife for custody of my children. it has been an ugly UGLY fight both in terms of emotional (and financial) stress.
my ex (from now on will be addressed as "asshole" for storytelling purposes) is a drug (coccaine, weed, pills, etc) abuser, physical abuser, and an emotional abuser. she lives with and associates with an ex-convict and his juvenile delinquent son. these two people also abuse my children when they are around them.

examples of abuse you ask? honestly there are too many to list but i will give you a small sample. (i could seriously write a bible sized book about this.) not feeding the kids, not bathing the kids, not taking them to the doctor's when they are sick or injured, locking them out of the house in rain/snow/cold/night (in t-shirts and shorts) so they could do their drugs, hitting/kicking/beating the kids (i have pictures of bruises), stealing the kid's college funds for drug money, shooting the kids with bb guns, doing drugs in front of the kids, locking the kids in rooms unsupervised with porn movies in the dvd players, yelling/screaming at the kids, telling the kids they wished they were never born, making the kids drink beer, forcing the kids to be physically abusive to each other, threatening the kids, physically abusing the kid's pet dog in front of them to intimidate the kids (ie: i'm going to do this to YOU if you don't...) throwing out the kids birthday/x-mas presents that come from my house/family in front of them (usually after smashing them to bits), smoking (whatever) in front of them and then blowing it in their faces...
*sigh* the list goes on... i'm sure you get the idea, so back to the story.

prior to jan 1st of this year, my children were in asshole's physical custody and were subjected to all sorts of inappropriate or abusive behaviors (as noted above). i was only allowed to see them on weekends. after jan 1st, my children moved in with me and things drastically changed for them (obviously for the better)
within 3 weeks of them living with me, all their teachers (from the private school i had them enrolled in) approached me and said they noticed a complete and positive change in the children's behavior, appearance, and academics. unbeknownst to me, asshole had approached the school and made up all sorts of BS lies and stories about me and none of the teachers would approach or speak with me (for the most part). luckily my son's teachers were some pretty sharp individuals (thanks so much for believing in me mrs. m and mrs. e !!) and pulled me aside prior to the children moving in with me and asked me about the situation. (apparently they had tried contacting asshole since the beginning of the year about my son's aggressive and inappropriate behaviors in class. they insisted that he get some type of counseling but were getting nowhere with asshole so turned to me.) i explained to them that i had been trying to get counseling for my children since the divorce, but was unable to get asshole to sign consent forms because she didn't want the children to talk about her, convict boyfriend, gangster son, or what was going on @ her house. this news disgusted them, so they told me some of the things that asshole had said about me and told me that they would try and help me get some counseling. a couple weeks later (after more unsuccessful attempts to get any response from asshole) i had an official school document DEMANDING counseling for my son and several teachers giving me full support to start some type of action. (they also contacted DSS on my children's behalf due to some of the things my children were telling their teachers at school).

so, with support from the school, and DSS investigating asshole (finally) i decided to make my move and slam this b!tch. i contacted my attorney (who knew i was going to go for custody when i had some ammo), got the kids in with the counselor (i had been trying to get them in with for the last 2 yrs), and served asshole with my intent to sue for full custody.
from there all hell broke loose.

we have been to court at least 6 times in the last 4 months. been subjected to hardcore investigations by the courts and DSS, subjected to drug testing (i have passed all of them because i am CLEAN, while she has failed them... she came out 30 times (16000ng) over the limit (500ng) for coccaine) subjected to countless questioning (the same friggin questions over and over *groan*) by countless court agents (who never seem to pass prior investigation information along) and paid out so much money i've had to sell things and take out loans just to keep up. and this is far from over...

just before our last court appearance (about 3 weeks ago) asshole took my daughter and threw her against a wall and subsequently put her in the hospital. she is out of the hospital now and doing much better. she won't suffer any permanent neurological damage according to the doctors, but didn't have any "marks" on her so the hospital couldn't prove (without reasonable doubt) that asshole did it to her. both my kids vehemently maintain that asshole did do this, but we have no hard proof.

un-fucking-believeable.

currently, i have been granted full physical and legal custody of my children. however, for some strange reason, asshole has been granted visitation rights (every other weekend) and "interim dinner visits" where she can take the kids every wednesday night for 3 hours. thankfully, my daughter (currently) doesn't have to go with asshole, but my son does. (so what fucking GOOD does it mean for me to have full custody if she has any contact with them??!!! someone please enlighten me on that one... i'm baffled...)
at the very least has this change in custody brought about any positive changes? you bet! my kids are now in a new school, love it and are doing GREAT , they have new friends that they get to play with (their mother never let them go visit friends or have friends over because of the drugs... she even used to transport the drugs in their school backpacks... WTF??!!), they now have sleep overs, playdates, birthday parties (where no one smashes their gifts and/or throws them out), they have been begging to play sports and are now enrolled in and playing sports, get to see their counselor/therapist (whom they really dig...) on a weekly basis, and best of all, they are smiling and laughing again... it has been a long time since i've seen something so simple as a smile on their faces (how friggin sad THAT sh*t was... for a LONG time). it is truly a beautiful thing.

it is my firm opinion that asshole should have no contact with my children whatsoever, but apparently the extremely liberal court system in my state doesn't agree with my assessments. (fuck!!) my attorney, on the other hand, is very pleased with current orders as this state is EXTREMELY biased towards women/mothers and fathers usually (99.9% of the time) get totally SHAFTED. at this point i feel i can attest to that.
now asshole has shifted her tactics and is fucking with me with the only group of people who will still listen to her bullsh*t: DSS. she can't beat me in court so she's getting these dumb b4stards to fuck up our world. how is she getting them to listen to her? well, she tells them that i force my kids to watch porn, that i'm a porn addict and that i wank my hogan in front of my kids... she has also threatened my children to lie for her to support her claims. (nice) all her other claims (about me) to DSS have been thrown out as ridiculous, but this time she got their attention. i am now being investigated by these DSS dumbasses for 45 days. fuck!!!

despite the fact that i have a lot of good people backing and supporting me (teachers, lawyers, counselors/therapists, doctors, neighbors, family members, etc..) and that my entire case is based in truth and fact and hers is based on lies and pure bullsh*t, we are going into court yet again for another "pre-trial" hearing this coming thursday the 28th of sept 2006. when will this end??!!

members of chiefsplanet. i humbly ask for your support, thoughts and prayers in regards to this matter on behalf of my children, their safety, well-being and subsequent future(s). i have fought long and hard in this battle for them, and will continue to do so, but i am losing faith in this court system that won't close the door on this and continues to grant their fucked-up mother chances to manipulate and damage their chances of having any form of "normal" childhood.

please keep my children in your thoughts and prayers this coming thursday.

thank you.
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Old 09-26-2007, 09:42 PM   #121
Loki Loki is offline
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update

hello again CP crowd. it's been a while. mea culpa.

good news.

court is over, i have my kids.
i have full custody, but she still gets visitations, but it's monitored by a trustworthy and reputable counselor (the counselor i got for the kids 2 yrs ago - she rocks!) if anything else happens, the counselor and the courts say "strike 3 you're OUT" to the b!tch and she's completely out of the picture. everyone has had it with her. (well, except for DSS... she can get them to crawl up my a$$ still, but they find nothing - because there is nothing.) it's just aggravating as they are a bunch of card carrying man-haters for certain. sux. i'm guilty in their book as soon as i open the door for their "inspection teams". sorry ladies... no WMD here...

long expensive fight. lol... i'm broke as hell. but i have the kids, they're healthy (haven't been to the doctor's in over a year for anything other than their school physicals) they're doing AWESOME in their new school, have tons of friends to play with in the 'hood, and are playing sports and doing well with them. gotta make shelves for the trophies! they're doing great. they bounced right back from their ordeal and are kicking a$$. i'm very proud of my little spartans.

*sniffle*

lol...

anyways, thanks to all those who prayed for my kids. most appreciated.

thank you CPers !!
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Old 09-26-2007, 09:50 PM   #122
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki
hello again CP crowd. it's been a while. mea culpa.

good news.

court is over, i have my kids.
i have full custody, but she still gets visitations, but it's monitored by a trustworthy and reputable counselor (the counselor i got for the kids 2 yrs ago - she rocks!) if anything else happens, the counselor and the courts say "strike 3 you're OUT" to the b!tch and she's completely out of the picture. everyone has had it with her. (well, except for DSS... she can get them to crawl up my a$$ still, but they find nothing - because there is nothing.) it's just aggravating as they are a bunch of card carrying man-haters for certain. sux. i'm guilty in their book as soon as i open the door for their "inspection teams". sorry ladies... no WMD here...

long expensive fight. lol... i'm broke as hell. but i have the kids, they're healthy (haven't been to the doctor's in over a year for anything other than their school physicals) they're doing AWESOME in their new school, have tons of friends to play with in the 'hood, and are playing sports and doing well with them. gotta make shelves for the trophies! they're doing great. they bounced right back from their ordeal and are kicking a$$. i'm very proud of my little spartans.

*sniffle*

lol...

anyways, thanks to all those who prayed for my kids. most appreciated.

thank you CPers !!
Man, God bless you and your kids.

This is AWESOME news. There IS justice in this sometimes fugged-up world....

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Old 09-26-2007, 09:55 PM   #123
Buck Buck is offline
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Great News...I wasn't around here back then, but reading your story makes me happy you got them.

Good Luck man.
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Old 09-26-2007, 10:02 PM   #124
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Thanks for the update, this story really hit home when i read it last year.

Its amazing how resilient kids can be, keep up the good work Dad.

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Old 09-26-2007, 10:04 PM   #125
Loki Loki is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Kotter
Man, God bless you and your kids.

This is AWESOME news. There IS justice in this sometimes fugged-up world....

yeah dude.
it was a total uphill battle. i'm a male... in massachusetts. males rarely get JOINT custody let alone FULL custody...

i had a great lawyer, great child counselor (who went to bat for the kids (and me) in court numerous times) and a judge that *listened* to both sides and actually READ all the evidence.
and despite the fact that the DSS man-haters did their best to make me crack, say something wrong, do something wrong, or refuse to look at hard evidence exhonorating myself of their accusations, they found NOTHING and had no choice but to write me up in their report as the clearly better parent. so i guess an inadvertant shout out to DSS for helping ME instead of HER in court.

all praises that this is finally over!

lol... now i just gotta dig myself out of this debt hole i'm in... ouch!
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Old 09-26-2007, 10:08 PM   #126
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Congratulations Loki, a divorced dad getting custody is indeed rare anywhere. I am very happy for your good fortune and great lawyer. I am sure that you charachter had to play a great part in it as well.
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Old 09-26-2007, 10:24 PM   #127
Loki Loki is offline
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Originally Posted by Dr. Doom
Congratulations Loki, a divorced dad getting custody is indeed rare anywhere. I am very happy for your good fortune and great lawyer. I am sure that you charachter had to play a great part in it as well.
hey vlad, howzit? good to "see" you again. thanks for saying hey.

character.
lol.. yeah. she and her pals in DSS tried their best to make something stick... didn't work though.

some seriously outrageous and humorous accusations came flying my way. took me a while to not get pissed and finally laugh at them. the best one was that i was using my kids to sell heroin. they were my runners and i had them out selling dope on the street corners after midnight. cops showed up that time.

classic.
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Old 09-26-2007, 10:33 PM   #128
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Dude. Congrats. I know how you feel. I won custody of my daughters last summer.

Then 3 months later their mother won on appeal. I can't do it any longer - emotionally, mentally, nor financially.
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Old 09-26-2007, 10:35 PM   #129
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tough tough tough situation. wow. We'll be praying for you guys. Keep from killing her. That'd really make things worse.
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Old 09-26-2007, 10:38 PM   #130
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki
hello again CP crowd. it's been a while. mea culpa.

good news.

court is over, i have my kids.
i have full custody, but she still gets visitations, but it's monitored by a trustworthy and reputable counselor (the counselor i got for the kids 2 yrs ago - she rocks!) if anything else happens, the counselor and the courts say "strike 3 you're OUT" to the b!tch and she's completely out of the picture. everyone has had it with her. (well, except for DSS... she can get them to crawl up my a$$ still, but they find nothing - because there is nothing.) it's just aggravating as they are a bunch of card carrying man-haters for certain. sux. i'm guilty in their book as soon as i open the door for their "inspection teams". sorry ladies... no WMD here...

long expensive fight. lol... i'm broke as hell. but i have the kids, they're healthy (haven't been to the doctor's in over a year for anything other than their school physicals) they're doing AWESOME in their new school, have tons of friends to play with in the 'hood, and are playing sports and doing well with them. gotta make shelves for the trophies! they're doing great. they bounced right back from their ordeal and are kicking a$$. i'm very proud of my little spartans.

*sniffle*

lol...

anyways, thanks to all those who prayed for my kids. most appreciated.

thank you CPers !!
Well done and congrats!
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Old 09-26-2007, 10:45 PM   #131
Loki Loki is offline
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Originally Posted by Phobia
Dude. Congrats. I know how you feel. I won custody of my daughters last summer.

Then 3 months later their mother won on appeal. I can't do it any longer - emotionally, mentally, nor financially.
got you by the balls eh? i feel for you dude. i'd tell you to keep holding on for your kids sake, but i understand how grating it is.

sucks for the kids to have it drag on and on also.
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Old 09-26-2007, 10:48 PM   #132
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Glad to hear things turned out so well for you, man. Congrats!
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Old 09-26-2007, 10:50 PM   #133
Phobia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki
got you by the balls eh? i feel for you dude. i'd tell you to keep holding on for your kids sake, but i understand how grating it is.

sucks for the kids to have it drag on and on also.
There's a finite limit to my ability to fight that fight, unfortunately. I definitely reached it. I don't understand but I've accepted it. I'm really happy for you and your family though. If there's anything I do please don't hesitate to ask.
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Old 09-26-2007, 11:37 PM   #134
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Great news bud; I'm happy for ya!
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Old 09-26-2007, 11:51 PM   #135
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Loki, you're a good Dad. Congrats to your success, and I hope you and your little ones do well.

And may a big somebody with a baseball bat clean the clock of your ex's boyfriend and son.
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