Football Pick Your Favorite Emmitt Smith Quote! - Page 3

Mama Hip Rockets · 07-30-2008, 06:05 PM

Walterfootball.com has compiiled an exhaustive list of the greatest quotes of all time from profound NFL analyst Emmitt Smith. I have chosen several of my favorites (actually, 28 of them), and I am trying to decide which one is best. I believe we should all place votes on our favorite quote. The quotes have commentary after them from Walter Cherepinsky, because most of the time it is pretty hard to figure out what is going on without the commentary.

Here are the choices:

1. "Norv Turner have a lot of experience in the playoff." (Commentary: When Emmitt uttered that statement, Norv Turner's postseason record was 1-1. Good thing we're talking about the playoff here, and not the playoffs.)

2. "Tom Brady is buyin' time for his lineman." (Commentary: And here I thought that offensive linemen were "buyin' time" for the quarterback.)

3. "Brett Favre went into Dallas nine times and have a big goose egg." (Commentary: And I bet Emmitt had tons of big goose eggs on his grammar tests when he was in high school.)

4. "That offense does... do look good." (Commentary: He was actually about to say "That offense does look good," but changed what he said mid-sentence to "That offense do look good." I'm speechless. How can someone be so poor at grammar?)

5. "Reggie Bush is definitely effective. Just not tonight." (Commentary: Emmitt said this after the Falcons-Saints Monday night game. Note to Emmitt: Bush wasn't effective... because... HE DIDN'T EVEN PLAY! No wonder he wasn't effective tonight.)

6. "The NFC West is probably one of the weakest... CONFERENCES... in the whole NFC. These guys over here, you have the Cardinals, you have the 49ers, you have the Seahawks, and you also have the Rams..." (Commentary: Thank God Emmitt's around, or else we'd forget which teams are in all the divisions... I mean... CONFERENCES.)

7. (On the Super Bowl) "The loss tonight... And the loss today is gonna hurt for a long time." (Commentary: So, apparently the Patriots lost to the Giants twice. Once at night, and once in the afternoon. Damn it, I only saw one of those games.)

8. "He was coming through line to make a move and got blind sided by Al Wi... Al Wi... Al Jackson." (Commentary: Don't bother searching for Al Jackson on NFL.com. He doesn't exist in real life - only in Emmitt's mind.)

9. "The leadership definitely have to come from the leaders." (Commentary: Wow, that's a really profound statement.)

10. "If it slip in Week 1, it slip in Week 8." (Commentary: I don't know what slip in Week 1, but clearly the same thing happened in Week 8. Let's just hope that when it slip in Week 15, the verb is actually conjugated.)

11. "The percentages for teams that go into score before the first half is pretty high that they wins the game." (Commentary: Wow. Just, wow. Aside from the horrific grammar, Emmitt's making up stats and trends. But what about the percentages for analysis that make grammaritcal error is pretty high that they gets fired at the end of the years?)

12. "The one thing that derail a team is a thing called the injury bugs." (Commentary: So, there's only one single thing that derails a team, and it's the injury bugs, not the injury bug? I never played professional football, but I wasn't aware there are actual bugs that cause injuries.)

13. "You have to have the personality to match up with the Patriots." (Commentary: Just a hunch, but I think Emmitt means personnel; not personality. Unless, of course, he believes it takes a Capricorn who likes to take long walks on the beach to beat New England.)

14. "Not only does he have the NFC East record for touchdowns, but also the team record." (Commentary: Is it possible to have a divisional record that's not a team record? It's like saying, "Not only does Emmitt Smith have the World Record for grammatical errors per TV show, he also has the record for most grammatical errors per TV show in his family." More evidence that Emmitt is ahead of our time.)

15. "Last year there was a lot of things the Colts had to address. They couldn't stop the run... and all those... that was one of the biggest things they had to address." (Commentary: Brain fart, much?)

16. "The Jets can only be disrespected by every team in the league" (Commentary: What the hell does that mean? Seriously?)

17. "The way you perform make them feel about you different." (Commentary: I think Emmitt's brain gathers the words he wants to use and rearranges them randomly.)

18. "They can ride Adrian Peterson into the doggone playoff." (Commentary: Not the playoff... The Doggone Playoff!)

19. "Eli Manning has been given the rice of passage." (Commentary: Damn it, why haven't I been given the rice of passage?)

20. "He's giving them all the confidences they need... he giving them the confidence that he need." (Commentary: It's a good thing that he's giving them more than one confidence. Everyone needs a few confidences , and needs a confidence in return at the same time. Whatever that means.)

21. "When you are the single or the lone ranger, so to speak." (Commentary: The Single Ranger? Sounds like some porn movie. And who says, "When you are the lone ranger, so to speak?" Who speaks that way, exactly?)

22. "I think it's his self-confidence in himself that make him so confident when it get down into the crunch time." (Commentary: So, in other words, his self-confidence in himself makes him confident. I guess that makes sense. Sure, you're saying the same thing three times, but who's counting?)

23. "Why doesn't... don't the defensive players put their hands on Randy Moss? Don't back back." (Commentary: That's not an error on my part. Emmitt actually said, "Don't back back." I recorded it and seriously went through it 10 times. I would have done it an 11th, but VCR exploded.)

24. "They need to right the score to get revenge." (Commentary: Right the ship, right the score. Tomato, tomahto.)

25. "Brady will put up monster numbers because he can throw." (Commentary: Seriously, where else can you get this sort of analysis?)

26. "You cannot change the stripes of a leopard." (Commentary: Now, Emmitt, repeat after me. A cow says moooo...)

27. "...Go to Arizona, sharp as a whistle, and do some finishing touches, so we can go down in the Super Bowl and play our best football of the whole entire season."(Commentary: Yeah, watch out for those sharp whistles - they can be really pointy.)

28. "The strength of the Patriots, their offense, got... DEBACLED." (Commentary: I was 99 percent sure Debacled wasn't a word, but I made sure in Microsoft Word. I typed it in, but instead of placing a red line below it, Microsoft Word just laughed at me.)

Believe or not, there are many more quotes, folks! Those were only the highlights. For a complete list of Emmitt's Best, check out http://walterfootball.com/emmitt.php.

Vote for your favorite here. I'm gonna need some more time to narrow it down.

tomahawk kid · 08-05-2010, 12:02 PM

Where's "I'm half the running back that Walter Payton / Barry Sanders was."

Haywood Jablomi · 08-05-2010, 12:18 PM

"...rice of passage " ??

Does that come with an egg roll?

DMAC · 08-05-2010, 12:48 PM

There are so many things funny about that list. How things confusing... and all those... that was one of the biggest things funny about the list.

**gblowfish** · 08-05-2010, 01:49 PM

Meh.
He's got nothing on Neil Smith's 'Neilbonics." Nobody fractures English like Neil Smith.

Goldmember · 08-05-2010, 01:56 PM

Who was the mental midget that put him on TV in the first place???? That was some real jeenyus move right there!!

SnakeXJones · 08-05-2010, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goldmember

Who was the mental midget that put him on TV in the first place???? That was some real jeenyus move right there!!

Irvin also

**loochy** · 08-05-2010, 02:13 PM

Don't forget this gem about the wonderful meat that is PORK!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emmitt Smith

For fans that are going to the ball game, they have an opportunity now to tailgate at a brand new stadium and smoke it up and saranate the whole stadium itself. To me tailgating is a part of gameday experience. And what we found is that 42% of the people prefer pork over the other meat. And at tailgate parties I can understand why because pork is easy, easy to cook, its simple and it's affordable, and so going to gameday stadium, look for everyone out there to be tailgatin. To be using some type of pork meat on their grills.

Watch the first 55 seconds.

**gblowfish** · 08-05-2010, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loochy

Don't forget this gem about the wonderful meat that is PORK!

Watch the first 55 seconds.

"Smoke it up and serenate the whole stadium itself!"

"Serenate?"
Is that a cross between "Serenade" and "Marinate?"

Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan · 08-05-2010, 04:20 PM

Can you imagine Neal and him calling a game together.

Would the production manager shoot himself before halftime?

SnakeXJones · 08-05-2010, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan

Can you imagine Neal and him calling a game together.

Would the production manager shoot himself before halftime?

Micheal Irvin is a pretty dumb bastard too might as well add him

Hog's Gone Fishin · 08-05-2010, 06:52 PM

I'm not trying to start a racist thingy but why in the hell do black people have such a big problem with the Englsh language ?

Lonewolf Ed · 08-05-2010, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_spatula

19

The rice of passage: 1 quart of water, 2 cups of rice, 1 cup of castor oil. Boil, serve, run to toilet.

**MahiMike** · 08-05-2010, 07:35 PM

my head hurt. make my sides 'splode from disrespective

Deberg_1990 · 08-05-2010, 07:38 PM

Hi, Im Emmit Smith, ive got 3 Super Bowl Rings, im rich and your not.

Mama Hip Rockets · 08-05-2010, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MahiMike

my head hurt. make my sides 'splode from disrespective

I am still laughing uncontrollably while reading these, even tough I've read them at least five times before.

View Poll Results: Which is your favorite Emmitt Smith quote?
1	0	0%
2	0	0%
3	1	2.08%
4	4	8.33%
5	1	2.08%
6	0	0%
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8	2	4.17%
9	3	6.25%
10	1	2.08%
11	2	4.17%
12	4	8.33%
13	2	4.17%
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16	2	4.17%
17	5	10.42%
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19	13	27.08%
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22	2	4.17%
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25	0	0%
26	2	4.17%
27	1	2.08%
28	2	4.17%
Voters: 48. You may not vote on this poll

07-30-2008, 06:05 PM
Mama Hip Rockets You don't faze me, Gobble. Join Date: Dec 2005 Casino cash: $9915644	Pick Your Favorite Emmitt Smith Quote! Walterfootball.com has compiiled an exhaustive list of the greatest quotes of all time from profound NFL analyst Emmitt Smith. I have chosen several of my favorites (actually, 28 of them), and I am trying to decide which one is best. I believe we should all place votes on our favorite quote. The quotes have commentary after them from Walter Cherepinsky, because most of the time it is pretty hard to figure out what is going on without the commentary. Here are the choices: 1. "Norv Turner have a lot of experience in the playoff." (Commentary: When Emmitt uttered that statement, Norv Turner's postseason record was 1-1. Good thing we're talking about the playoff here, and not the playoffs.) 2. "Tom Brady is buyin' time for his lineman." (Commentary: And here I thought that offensive linemen were "buyin' time" for the quarterback.) 3. "Brett Favre went into Dallas nine times and have a big goose egg." (Commentary: And I bet Emmitt had tons of big goose eggs on his grammar tests when he was in high school.) 4. "That offense does... do look good." (Commentary: He was actually about to say "That offense does look good," but changed what he said mid-sentence to "That offense do look good." I'm speechless. How can someone be so poor at grammar?) 5. "Reggie Bush is definitely effective. Just not tonight." (Commentary: Emmitt said this after the Falcons-Saints Monday night game. Note to Emmitt: Bush wasn't effective... because... HE DIDN'T EVEN PLAY! No wonder he wasn't effective tonight.) 6. "The NFC West is probably one of the weakest... CONFERENCES... in the whole NFC. These guys over here, you have the Cardinals, you have the 49ers, you have the Seahawks, and you also have the Rams..." (Commentary: Thank God Emmitt's around, or else we'd forget which teams are in all the divisions... I mean... CONFERENCES.) 7. (On the Super Bowl) "The loss tonight... And the loss today is gonna hurt for a long time." (Commentary: So, apparently the Patriots lost to the Giants twice. Once at night, and once in the afternoon. Damn it, I only saw one of those games.) 8. "He was coming through line to make a move and got blind sided by Al Wi... Al Wi... Al Jackson." (Commentary: Don't bother searching for Al Jackson on NFL.com. He doesn't exist in real life - only in Emmitt's mind.) 9. "The leadership definitely have to come from the leaders." (Commentary: Wow, that's a really profound statement.) 10. "If it slip in Week 1, it slip in Week 8." (Commentary: I don't know what slip in Week 1, but clearly the same thing happened in Week 8. Let's just hope that when it slip in Week 15, the verb is actually conjugated.) 11. "The percentages for teams that go into score before the first half is pretty high that they wins the game." (Commentary: Wow. Just, wow. Aside from the horrific grammar, Emmitt's making up stats and trends. But what about the percentages for analysis that make grammaritcal error is pretty high that they gets fired at the end of the years?) 12. "The one thing that derail a team is a thing called the injury bugs." (Commentary: So, there's only one single thing that derails a team, and it's the injury bugs, not the injury bug? I never played professional football, but I wasn't aware there are actual bugs that cause injuries.) 13. "You have to have the personality to match up with the Patriots." (Commentary: Just a hunch, but I think Emmitt means personnel; not personality. Unless, of course, he believes it takes a Capricorn who likes to take long walks on the beach to beat New England.) 14. "Not only does he have the NFC East record for touchdowns, but also the team record." (Commentary: Is it possible to have a divisional record that's not a team record? It's like saying, "Not only does Emmitt Smith have the World Record for grammatical errors per TV show, he also has the record for most grammatical errors per TV show in his family." More evidence that Emmitt is ahead of our time.) 15. "Last year there was a lot of things the Colts had to address. They couldn't stop the run... and all those... that was one of the biggest things they had to address." (Commentary: Brain fart, much?) 16. "The Jets can only be disrespected by every team in the league" (Commentary: What the hell does that mean? Seriously?) 17. "The way you perform make them feel about you different." (Commentary: I think Emmitt's brain gathers the words he wants to use and rearranges them randomly.) 18. "They can ride Adrian Peterson into the doggone playoff." (Commentary: Not the playoff... The Doggone Playoff!) 19. "Eli Manning has been given the rice of passage." (Commentary: Damn it, why haven't I been given the rice of passage?) 20. "He's giving them all the confidences they need... he giving them the confidence that he need." (Commentary: It's a good thing that he's giving them more than one confidence. Everyone needs a few confidences , and needs a confidence in return at the same time. Whatever that means.) 21. "When you are the single or the lone ranger, so to speak." (Commentary: The Single Ranger? Sounds like some porn movie. And who says, "When you are the lone ranger, so to speak?" Who speaks that way, exactly?) 22. "I think it's his self-confidence in himself that make him so confident when it get down into the crunch time." (Commentary: So, in other words, his self-confidence in himself makes him confident. I guess that makes sense. Sure, you're saying the same thing three times, but who's counting?) 23. "Why doesn't... don't the defensive players put their hands on Randy Moss? Don't back back." (Commentary: That's not an error on my part. Emmitt actually said, "Don't back back." I recorded it and seriously went through it 10 times. I would have done it an 11th, but VCR exploded.) 24. "They need to right the score to get revenge." (Commentary: Right the ship, right the score. Tomato, tomahto.) 25. "Brady will put up monster numbers because he can throw." (Commentary: Seriously, where else can you get this sort of analysis?) 26. "You cannot change the stripes of a leopard." (Commentary: Now, Emmitt, repeat after me. A cow says moooo...) 27. "...Go to Arizona, sharp as a whistle, and do some finishing touches, so we can go down in the Super Bowl and play our best football of the whole entire season."(Commentary: Yeah, watch out for those sharp whistles - they can be really pointy.) 28. "The strength of the Patriots, their offense, got... DEBACLED." (Commentary: I was 99 percent sure Debacled wasn't a word, but I made sure in Microsoft Word. I typed it in, but instead of placing a red line below it, Microsoft Word just laughed at me.) Believe or not, there are many more quotes, folks! Those were only the highlights. For a complete list of Emmitt's Best, check out http://walterfootball.com/emmitt.php. Vote for your favorite here. I'm gonna need some more time to narrow it down.
Posts: 13,675

08-05-2010, 12:02 PM	#31
tomahawk kid Drunk in the Neighborhood Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Beating the War Drums Casino cash: $10001837	Where's "I'm half the running back that Walter Payton / Barry Sanders was."
Posts: 5,974

08-05-2010, 12:18 PM	#32
Haywood Jablomi Rookie Join Date: Jan 2009 Casino cash: $10004900	"...rice of passage " ?? Does that come with an egg roll?
Posts: 8

08-05-2010, 12:48 PM	#33
DMAC MVP Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Springfield, MO Casino cash: $10008735	There are so many things funny about that list. How things confusing... and all those... that was one of the biggest things funny about the list.
Posts: 11,651

08-05-2010, 01:49 PM	#34
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $16896178 VARSITY	Meh. He's got nothing on Neil Smith's 'Neilbonics." Nobody fractures English like Neil Smith.
Posts: 41,011

08-05-2010, 01:56 PM	#35
Goldmember You GOTTA get it done! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Northern California Casino cash: $9856738	Who was the mental midget that put him on TV in the first place???? That was some real jeenyus move right there!!
Posts: 2,044

08-05-2010, 04:20 PM	#39
Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan I am Number Six Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Columbia, MD, USA Casino cash: $-1390000	Can you imagine Neal and him calling a game together. Would the production manager shoot himself before halftime? __________________ One of the lowest PPD of any of the original members of the Planet . . . and proud of it. My web site My writer's page
Posts: 6,716

08-05-2010, 06:52 PM	#41
Hog's Gone Fishin Fish are scared of me Join Date: Nov 2001 Casino cash: $-1469523	I'm not trying to start a racist thingy but why in the hell do black people have such a big problem with the Englsh language ?
Posts: 40,646

08-05-2010, 07:35 PM	#43
MahiMike He's Mahomie! Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Jax, FL Casino cash: $10023443	my head hurt. make my sides 'splode from disrespective __________________ 99.9%
Posts: 17,387

08-05-2010, 07:38 PM	#44
Deberg_1990 In Search of a Life Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: San Antonio Tx. Casino cash: $264454	Hi, Im Emmit Smith, ive got 3 Super Bowl Rings, im rich and your not.
Posts: 68,483