Experienced every man's worst nightmare today

[Jim Jones]

On my lunch break today I went a local mexican place..it's mostly for takeout, pretty small and very limited seating. So I order and then go to take a piss, but the bathroom is locked. OK, I wait.

About 5 minutes passes, I can tell my burrito is just about done, and the door opens and a GORGEOUS looking woman walks out. Brunette, perfect body, wearing a low-cut tank top and fairly short shorts. Couldn't have been more than 27 or 28. I sneak a peak as she walks by, then open the door and encounter one of the foulest scents I've smelled in recent memory. I grew up in a house with three other guys (brothers and dad) and what I smelled in that bathroom would rank right up there with some of the most toxic smelling dumps I ever experienced in my house growing up. I stepped inside and literally let out a loud "OH MY GOD" and then quickly turned around to see if anyone heard me. The door had already shut behind me, and now I was trapped. So I held my nose, pissed, and wondered to myself how such a gorgeous creature could push out something that smelled so utterly disgusting.

[Delano]

Roses really smell like poo-poo-poopoo.
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[Fritz88]

I'd hit it.

[Psyko Tek]

that's your worst nightmare?

hokay

[CoMoChief]

That's horrible. I'd call her out on that shit. There's no excuse for someone that hot to smell that bad.

[jd1020]

Shit smells? Wow. News to me.

My worst nightmare would be that shit coming out in the middle of sex after giving anal a try.

[Norman Einstein]

What's the chance she thought the same thing when she went in there? It was a Mexican Restaurant right? What was she doing in the Mens room?

[jd1020]

Originally Posted by Norman Einstein

What's the chance she thought the same thing when she went in there? It was a Mexican Restaurant right? What was she doing in the Mens room?

Most small restaurants (fast food), in my experience, don't have his and her bathrooms.

[Lonewolf Ed]

On the up side, I guess you know she doesn't binge and purge.

[damaticous]

So, my girlfriend and I ate Mexican food last night and had a lot of alcohol. After we went home, made sweet love, then passed out on the bed. we woke up this morning and did our normal routine.

We decided that we'd meet for lunch at Taco bell for something quick and Mexican...again.

Tonight she still had a hankerin for Mexican food so we went to this local Mexican place. It's mostly a little hole in the wall for take out but some people like to stay and eat at the little tables that are inside.

Well, as we walk in my girlfriend says "I've gotta take a massive poo! Could you please order a beef Chimichonga for me?".

So, she goes to the bathroom while I order our food.

She comes back a little later and sits down with me at our table and says.

"Holy crap!!! That was the stinkiest poo i've ever had!!! All the recent Mexican food and alcohol hasn't been very nice to my tummy."

i say "bummber deal" as I proudly munch on my burrito.

"I went poo, and there was this cute little man waiting in line for the bathroom. I felt so sorry for him. I left a nasty smell for him".

"bummber deal" I say again.

"as I left the bathroom on my way to the table I heard him say 'OH MY GOD!'. I had to laugh. If he thought that was bad...."

"yeppers", I say. "you get some nasty smelly poo and farts after that much alcohol and Mexican. Maybe you should go back and let another one rip just outside the door before he comes out."

So she leaves the table and comes back a few seconds later.

"Whew! that was worse than my poo. Poor bastard. At least I'm wearing a low-cut tank top and these fairly short shorts, otherwise he'd think I was a totally disgusting gross person."

"maybe you should to say you are sorry and let him grab a boob?" I ask.

"yeah. i feel kind of bad. i think you are right."

She comes back and says....

"I was gunna lift up my low-cut tank top and let him feel my right boob, but when he came out his face was green. So I said 'i'm sorry about my stinky poo.' The guy said 'holy crap lady. that was nasty, but...."






I thought I'd continue the story.

Who's going to continue it??????/

[Jim Jones]

Originally Posted by jd1020

Most small restaurants (fast food), in my experience, don't have his and her bathrooms.

yeah, that's how it was at this place. and I mean, jesus, I've smelled some horrid things in public restrooms, but this was right up there with the worst.

[Norman Einstein]

Originally Posted by jd1020

Most small restaurants (fast food), in my experience, don't have his and her bathrooms.

In Podunk America I might expect that, but I don't think I've ever been in a Restaurant that only had a single.

[Demonpenz]

there are times when I walk into a bathroom and I immidately look around to see if there is a dead racoon or something in a vent

[Norman Einstein]

Originally Posted by Demonpenz

there are times when I walk into a bathroom and I immidately look around to see if there is a dead racoon or something in a vent

On those times when you walk in and it doesn't make you look for the raccoon, when you are finished does the next guy walk in and look for that same raccoon?

[RJ]

Probably a transsexual.