Life Question about my new town - Page 3

Cornstock · 05-26-2013, 08:24 PM

Hey gang. So here's my story. I recently moved to Sioux City, IA for my job. The tough thing, as many of you know, about moving to a new town is making new friends. The first few months of living here I was able to visit college friends nearby and was content. But now, its summer and they're all gone.

In an attempt to make friends I've joined a gym, started going to church again, tried going to bars, and tried hanging out at hip places like coffee shops for long periods of time. Tried going to Target, WalMart, etc. and striking up a conversation, but I get the "mind your own goddamn business" look.

I think the gym still holds promise, as does church. Bars, however, going solo without any friends just seems weird. When talking to guys, they won't give me the time of day (I think mostly because they're too focused on trying to get some or slummin with the frat buddies) and with the girls they just take it as I'm hitting on them (ok, ok, I was.)

Funny thing is, I don't consider myself socially awkward or anything. I'm a perfectly normal, decently good-looking, gainfully employed, 23 year old guy. I've had no problems meeting people in other places. Even abroad, its been easy (I think because people are always interested in the American, so having that as a prop helps).

I'm not asking for advice to get laid or anything. But just plain making friends would be nice. Any thoughts or advice?

**BigRedChief** · 05-26-2013, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cornstock

Hey gang. So here's my story. I recently moved to Sioux City, IA for my job. The tough thing, as many of you know, about moving to a new town is making new friends. The first few months of living here I was able to visit college friends nearby and was content. But now, its summer and they're all gone.

In an attempt to make friends I've joined a gym, started going to church again, tried going to bars, and tried hanging out at hip places like coffee shops for long periods of time. Tried going to Target, WalMart, etc. and striking up a conversation, but I get the "mind your own goddamn business" look.

I think the gym still holds promise, as does church. Bars, however, going solo without any friends just seems weird. When talking to guys, they won't give me the time of day (I think mostly because they're too focused on trying to get some or slummin with the frat buddies) and with the girls they just take it as I'm hitting on them (ok, ok, I was.)

Funny thing is, I don't consider myself socially awkward or anything. I'm a perfectly normal, decently good-looking, gainfully employed, 23 year old guy. I've had no problems meeting people in other places. Even abroad, its been easy (I think because people are always interested in the American, so having that as a prop helps).

I'm not asking for advice to get laid or anything. But just plain making friends would be nice. Any thoughts or advice?

Meetup.com

You can find groups in your area that share your same interests. Thats how our chiefs group here in the Tampa area found each other.

Red Beans · 05-26-2013, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cornstock

That one's probably the closest to me. I should check it out sometime.

If you can walk there, make that mother ****er your home.

**mlyonsd** · 05-26-2013, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cornstock

Thank's man. What's the demographic of those bars? I've tried the ones down on 4th street a bit. I live in Northside/Leeds btw.

Know anything about the Ickey Nickel? I've seen it but never been.

The new Bob Roe's northside in Leeds is popular.

The Nickel is a nice bar. Volleyball leagues and all kind of stuff going on there all the time.

**AustinChief** · 05-26-2013, 09:12 PM

Ok this is easy. Do the bar thing but be prepared to put in the hours.

#1 pick a bar that has the kind of crowd you want to associate with.
#2 start going there REGULARLY, don't skip around to other bars unless the one you picked is lame and u need to pick a new one... I'd recommend a genuine pub if there is one (if there is no dart board, it isn't actually a pub)
#3 avoid places that are "bar and grill" types... they usually have much larger staffs and it will take longer
#4 make sure you go on slow nights .. best bet (if you want to go all super stalker) is to find a cool bartender who doesn't just work busy nights and be one of the only guys at the bar on the slow nights
#5 ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS sit at the bar itself.
#6 Go back and make damn sure you paid close attention to step #1, this is a golden opportunity to PICK the type of friends you'll have, don't waste it

Done. Eventually, on the slow nights, you'll meet the regulars and get a chance to say you just moved in from out of town, etc etc .. Then when you go on a busy night you'll have an "in" with plenty of people to meet more of their friends

Cornstock · 05-26-2013, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red Beans

If you can walk there, make that mother ****er your home.

I would, but its in such an odd location. Its out on this kind of factory road that doesn't have any other businesses within it for a mile each way. Just industrial stuff.

I'm probably a mile and a half away. Maybe a bit more. But there's not sidewalks to it and you'd have to walk along highway.

**mlyonsd** · 05-26-2013, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cornstock

Thank's man. What's the demographic of those bars? I've tried the ones down on 4th street a bit. I live in Northside/Leeds btw.

Know anything about the Ickey Nickel? I've seen it but never been.

4th St is yuppy expensive shit where people go that want to be noticed. All the places I mentioned are mostly neighborhood type joints you'll see the same people frequently.

**mlyonsd** · 05-26-2013, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cornstock

I would, but its in such an odd location. Its out on this kind of factory road that doesn't have any other businesses within it for a mile each way. Just industrial stuff.

I'm probably a mile and a half away. Maybe a bit more. But there's not sidewalks to it and you'd have to walk along highway.

From the sound of your location I'd start with the Nickel, Bob Roe's north, or the Townhouse and follow the rest of AC's advice.

Fairplay · 05-26-2013, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red Beans

If you can walk there, make that mother ****er your home.

Being within stumbling distance to your home has its advantages.

Cornstock · 05-26-2013, 09:19 PM

Bob Roe's is pretty close. I'll check that one out along with the Nickel.

Cornstock · 05-26-2013, 09:21 PM

That's a great plan AC. Sioux City will make me a drunkard and I'll spend all my money at the bars. But I'll have friends.

**AustinChief** · 05-26-2013, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cornstock

That's a great plan AC. Sioux City will make me a drunkard and I'll spend all my money at the bars. But I'll have friends.

I never said it didn't carry any risk!

Actually you just need to go out one extra night a week on slow nights and it should still work just fine. And hell, how expensive can bars in Sioux City be!

Fairplay · 05-26-2013, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cornstock

That's a great plan AC. Sioux City will make me a drunkard and I'll spend all my money at the bars. But I'll have friends.

Not sure if that has its advantage in the long term.

Cornstock · 05-26-2013, 09:29 PM

Haha they're really not. Even the 4th Street bars are cheap compared to anywhere else in the world (except Buffalo Alice's, screw them, who do they think they are charging that much for a beer? And the bartender chicks are too busy texting and talking to their friends across the bar who aren't even buying drinks to serve the patrons).

**mlyonsd** · 05-26-2013, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cornstock

Haha they're really not. Even the 4th Street bars are cheap compared to anywhere else in the world (except Buffalo Alice's, screw them, who do they think they are charging that much for a beer? And the bartender chicks are too busy texting and talking to their friends across the bar who aren't even buying drinks to serve the patrons).

You get off 4th St and you'll find a more sincere friendly atmosphere.

rageeumr · 05-26-2013, 09:33 PM

You have any hobbies? I like to run, so if I were ever to move I could always find a local running club.

05-26-2013, 08:24 PM
Cornstock Veteran Join Date: Oct 2008 Casino cash: $9986835	Question about my new town Hey gang. So here's my story. I recently moved to Sioux City, IA for my job. The tough thing, as many of you know, about moving to a new town is making new friends. The first few months of living here I was able to visit college friends nearby and was content. But now, its summer and they're all gone. In an attempt to make friends I've joined a gym, started going to church again, tried going to bars, and tried hanging out at hip places like coffee shops for long periods of time. Tried going to Target, WalMart, etc. and striking up a conversation, but I get the "mind your own goddamn business" look. I think the gym still holds promise, as does church. Bars, however, going solo without any friends just seems weird. When talking to guys, they won't give me the time of day (I think mostly because they're too focused on trying to get some or slummin with the frat buddies) and with the girls they just take it as I'm hitting on them (ok, ok, I was.) Funny thing is, I don't consider myself socially awkward or anything. I'm a perfectly normal, decently good-looking, gainfully employed, 23 year old guy. I've had no problems meeting people in other places. Even abroad, its been easy (I think because people are always interested in the American, so having that as a prop helps). I'm not asking for advice to get laid or anything. But just plain making friends would be nice. Any thoughts or advice?
Posts: 1,606

05-26-2013, 09:12 PM	#34
AustinChief Administrator Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Austin Casino cash: $-574998	Ok this is easy. Do the bar thing but be prepared to put in the hours. #1 pick a bar that has the kind of crowd you want to associate with. #2 start going there REGULARLY, don't skip around to other bars unless the one you picked is lame and u need to pick a new one... I'd recommend a genuine pub if there is one (if there is no dart board, it isn't actually a pub) #3 avoid places that are "bar and grill" types... they usually have much larger staffs and it will take longer #4 make sure you go on slow nights .. best bet (if you want to go all super stalker) is to find a cool bartender who doesn't just work busy nights and be one of the only guys at the bar on the slow nights #5 ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS sit at the bar itself. #6 Go back and make damn sure you paid close attention to step #1, this is a golden opportunity to PICK the type of friends you'll have, don't waste it Done. Eventually, on the slow nights, you'll meet the regulars and get a chance to say you just moved in from out of town, etc etc .. Then when you go on a busy night you'll have an "in" with plenty of people to meet more of their friends
Posts: 20,000

05-26-2013, 09:19 PM	#39
Cornstock Veteran Join Date: Oct 2008 Casino cash: $9986835	Bob Roe's is pretty close. I'll check that one out along with the Nickel.
Posts: 1,606

05-26-2013, 09:21 PM	#40
Cornstock Veteran Join Date: Oct 2008 Casino cash: $9986835	That's a great plan AC. Sioux City will make me a drunkard and I'll spend all my money at the bars. But I'll have friends.
Posts: 1,606

05-26-2013, 09:29 PM	#43
Cornstock Veteran Join Date: Oct 2008 Casino cash: $9986835	Haha they're really not. Even the 4th Street bars are cheap compared to anywhere else in the world (except Buffalo Alice's, screw them, who do they think they are charging that much for a beer? And the bartender chicks are too busy texting and talking to their friends across the bar who aren't even buying drinks to serve the patrons).
Posts: 1,606

05-26-2013, 09:33 PM	#45
rageeumr Veteran Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: St. Louis :( Casino cash: $9989900	You have any hobbies? I like to run, so if I were ever to move I could always find a local running club.
Posts: 2,313