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Old 08-09-2010, 12:35 PM  
FAX FAX is offline
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FAX And The Morphine Withdrawal
Boys and girls, this is freaking hard. Crap ... I can barely type, too ...

I've been taking upwards of 200 mg of morphine sulfate daily for the last year and a half since prior to my back surgery last October.

Anyhow, I got a little crazy and quit the pills Wednesday night ... mother****ing child of God's abandon ****ing fallen angels ... I swear, I feel like I've been trying to climb out of the Devil's asshole for the last four days. This is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire freaking life.

Do not ... ever ... do not become addicted to narcotics, peeps. They will rock your world and ruin your ass. That is all.

FAX THE HALF DEAD AND WISHING IT WASN'T JUST HALF
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Old 08-15-2010, 12:47 PM   #136
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Great job, FAX. This is especially scary because you're a brilliant mind and still got hooked.
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Old 08-15-2010, 01:20 PM   #137
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I just wanted to say thanks for threads like this. While I feel bad for you, and you do have all my thoughts and hopes, it reminds me never to try these things.

I do have an addictive type personality, and have been hooked on many things (still like my booze and smokes). I am planning a trip back to the states now where I will visit some old friends. These friends use all kinds of different pills, and I have never tried any (even when offered). I was tempted to try one on this trip as it will be only a few days with them, then I will have no contact with the drugs for a long time. This reminds me, do not bother trying for fear of addiction if only "trying" for a few days.
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Old 08-15-2010, 04:34 PM   #138
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Yep, ElGringo. The best decision is to never even try the crap, because the stigmas attached to this shit disappear if you happen to like em' and I can promise you that you will like em' Stay away from it. I would not wish the consequences of abuse on my worst enemy, and especially not on a cool dude such as yourself.
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Old 08-15-2010, 04:58 PM   #139
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Sunday Report From Satan's Ass Crack:

Today was a bad day. Yesterday I was pretty active (comparatively). Today, however, I felt completely wasted. No energy. Apparently, detoxification is not a straight line, but more like a seesaw lifting you toward hope and then dumping your sorry ass back to oblivion. Uncool and frustrating beyond belief.

I'm beginning to wonder just how long before "normal" sets in. Then again, will I be able to remember what "normal" feels like? Troubling thought, that. Still, whatever I'm experiencing is better than the drugs which were leading me inexorably nowhere ... or worse.

Thanks for your continued support guys. Writing these posts seems to help somehow. Reading yours helps immensely (except, of course, for Mr. Scorp who can kiss my ass ... no relapsing allowed in my world, dude).

FAX
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Old 08-15-2010, 05:01 PM   #140
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Originally Posted by FAX View Post
Sunday Report From Satan's Ass Crack:

Today was a bad day. Yesterday I was pretty active (comparatively). Today, however, I felt completely wasted. No energy. Apparently, detoxification is not a straight line, but more like a seesaw lifting you toward hope and then dumping your sorry ass back to oblivion. Uncool and frustrating beyond belief.

I'm beginning to wonder just how long before "normal" sets in. Then again, will I be able to remember what "normal" feels like? Troubling thought, that. Still, whatever I'm experiencing is better than the drugs which were leading me inexorably nowhere ... or worse.

Thanks for your continued support guys. Writing these posts seems to help somehow. Reading yours helps immensely (except, of course, for Mr. Scorp who can kiss my ass ... no relapsing allowed in my world, dude).

FAX
Dude, you're hanging in there which means you're doing great, regardless of how shitty you feel today.

Do you have the NFL Network? If so, they're basically re-broadcasting every preseason game from the past few days plus a few live games as well. Maybe some football will help a little.

Be well.
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Old 08-15-2010, 05:05 PM   #141
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Relapse in 3.....2......1......
You stay classy.
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Old 08-15-2010, 05:06 PM   #142
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Dude, you're hanging in there which means you're doing great, regardless of how shitty you feel today.

Do you have the NFL Network? If so, they're basically re-broadcasting every preseason game from the past few days plus a few live games as well. Maybe some football will help a little.

Be well.
The beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX and I are watching all the Jesse Stone (Tom Selleck) movies in sequence. As much as I enjoy football, I enjoy spending time with that chick a lot more ... especially now.

Thanks for the tip, though. I'd like to catch the Chiefs/Falcons game in its entirety at some point. I'll check the schedule. Thanks, man.

FAX
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Old 08-15-2010, 05:10 PM   #143
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Hang in there bud. Each day is going to be better. Even if you don't feel better, it's another day your body has to flush the chemicals and purify. So while you don't feel much progress today, be certain that your body appreciates your efforts.
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Old 08-15-2010, 05:16 PM   #144
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Hang in there bud. Each day is going to be better. Even if you don't feel better, it's another day your body has to flush the chemicals and purify. So while you don't feel much progress today, be certain that your body appreciates your efforts.
I'm doing everything possible. Sweats. Electrolytes. Exercise (as possible). Suppliments. Problem is that the drugs (apparently, and over time) effect every aspect of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual systems. Recovery appears to be far more difficult than I had originally imagined it might be ... unsettling ... but these problems will help me avoid temptation in future.

The lesson is simple: prescription morphine tablets are Devil Turds, man.

FAX
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Old 08-15-2010, 06:03 PM   #145
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I'm doing everything possible. Sweats. Electrolytes. Exercise (as possible). Suppliments. Problem is that the drugs (apparently, and over time) effect every aspect of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual systems. Recovery appears to be far more difficult than I had originally imagined it might be ... unsettling ... but these problems will help me avoid temptation in future.

The lesson is simple: prescription morphine tablets are Devil Turds, man.

FAX
and we used to say speed kills (circa 1966)...

opiates are worse...

i count my blessings everyday that i hate needles so bad i never tried heroin, well maybe i tried a little bit, but without any needles...
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Old 08-16-2010, 11:47 AM
Ana88bac
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Old 08-16-2010, 11:56 AM   #146
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Originally Posted by FAX View Post
Sunday Report From Satan's Ass Crack:

Today was a bad day. Yesterday I was pretty active (comparatively). Today, however, I felt completely wasted. No energy. Apparently, detoxification is not a straight line, but more like a seesaw lifting you toward hope and then dumping your sorry ass back to oblivion. Uncool and frustrating beyond belief.

I'm beginning to wonder just how long before "normal" sets in. Then again, will I be able to remember what "normal" feels like? Troubling thought, that. Still, whatever I'm experiencing is better than the drugs which were leading me inexorably nowhere ... or worse.

Thanks for your continued support guys. Writing these posts seems to help somehow. Reading yours helps immensely (except, of course, for Mr. Scorp who can kiss my ass ... no relapsing allowed in my world, dude).

FAX
Best to you FAX. I admire your candor. It seems that openly addressing our problems are a way of admitting them and facing them at the same time. For me that would be very hard to do so I compliment you in that regard.
Don't let your meatloaf.
Don't let your hormone.

Peace
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:04 PM   #147
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I'm doing everything possible. Sweats. Electrolytes. Exercise (as possible). Suppliments. Problem is that the drugs (apparently, and over time) effect every aspect of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual systems. Recovery appears to be far more difficult than I had originally imagined it might be ... unsettling ... but these problems will help me avoid temptation in future.

The lesson is simple: prescription morphine tablets are Devil Turds, man.

FAX
You'll beat this, cause you have a true desire to do so.

My wife works in a treatment facility and I have heard awful stories, but I have also heard stories of people who are severely addicted to drugs/pills or what have you and beating the addiction, then coming back and helping other people beat theirs. It's truly inspirational.

The absolute best of luck to you Mr. FAX.
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:05 PM   #148
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Best to you FAX. I admire your candor. It seems that openly addressing our problems are a way of admitting them and facing them at the same time. For me that would be very hard to do so I compliment you in that regard.
Don't let your meatloaf.
Don't let your hormone.

Peace
ChiefsPlanet has always been a form of therapy for me, Mr. vailpass ... after all, I'm a Chiefs fan. As for the drug dependency, I make no apologies or excuses ... my spine was broken and I needed the drugs to survive both prior to and after surgery. Problem is (like many before me) I became dependent on the morphine. It happens.

My goal is now to shed myself of that dependency and, frankly, I'll do whatever is necessary to accomplish that objective. As I mentioned in a prior post ... I could see my life degrading in subtle but measurable ways as I used the drugs to "feel better".

So, now I feel like crap, but I know that I will eventually return to "normal" ... whatever that is. Meanwhile, if my experience can either A) Motivate others to quit or B) Prevent others from succumbing to prescription narcotics addition, all the better.

FAX
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:07 PM   #149
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.....just wanted to say I'm going through it too, man. Methadone was my drug of choice - luckily a relatively low dose, for only a few months. I'm on Day 7 and I feel indescribably awful. How are you doing? Any sleep?

Just wanted to say I know exactly what you're going through.
My post goes for you too, best of luck.

Truly hope it gets easier quickly.
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:12 PM   #150
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You have much to learn about the ways of modern medicine, Mr. patteeu.

They know you're hooked. Eventually, one of two things happen; either you screw up a piss test (because you over-dosed during the month) and they take away your meds or you just keep getting the scripts because they know you can't help yourself. Once a month, you return to the pain clinic, pick up your script, and pay about 300 bucks for a 15 minute consult. That's the deal. No questions. No problem.

Not once did any of my doctors (about 6) consult with me as to a method or means for getting off the drugs. Not one time. There are more people in this country addicted to prescription pain meds than we can imagine.

FAX
That's sobering.

(Pun intended).
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